Time To Grow Up
by NatsuHime
Summary: ShizNat - A new year at Fuuka begins. Natsuki has slightly changed her behaviour towards her classmates. She has new friends, she stops ditching classes. Yes, changing is great. All seems to be so perfect. But one thing should never have been changed...
1. A new beginning

**Introduction**

**I changed the genre of my fanfic since there are several genres in it.**

**From chapter 1 to 5: General  
6 to 16: Drama / Romance  
17 to 19: Humor / Romance (the chapter 17 is rather independent)  
**

* * *

**Edit:** **Since a lot of people doesn't like the script style, I resigned myself to rewrite my fanfic. The 5th chapter and the following ones won't be like a script. And thanks to Sayosi for her help.  
**

**Edit 6th of Jan 2012: I've re-edited everything except the author's notes. So some things might be weird.  
**

Since I can't draw, I've decided to write a fic. But, this is my first fanfic ever. I hope I'll have the time and the motivation to finish it. If you find any mistake, you will be kind to help me correct them.

I welcome any constructive comments and criticisms.

I would like to thank zelene2004 who noticed a big mistake I made.

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 1.****  
**

**一 A new beginning**

In this room bathed in the dark, complete silence reigned. Some sunbeams seeped through the blinds. Outside, the birds were happily chirping. No doubt, this spring day was going to be sunny.

7 o'clock.

The strident noise of an alarm clock resounded. Forty-five seconds later the crash of the aforesaid alarm clock against the wall could be heard. The person responsible for this disaster moved, still half asleep, to the bathroom. Indeed, it was not the time to sleep any more. This day was the beginning of the term.

For Natsuki, the holidays were very short. In fact, she had to deal with the repairs of her apartment that had been destroyed by the black widow aka Nao, at the time of the HiME festival. But also, she had to catch up with her missed courses so she wouldn't have to take her first year over again.

This year was definitely going to be different. She promised to go to every course. Even if the idea did not enchant her, she didn't have anything else to do. No more research, no more orphan, no more battle, no more HiME… But no more Shizuru.

She was happy to have new friends however she still felt like she was lacking something. No one could be compared to the oh so perfect Shizuru. Of course, what she liked about her friend was not her perfection, it was something different. It was her caring nature, her presence, that she took time over her holidays to help Natsuki, that she didn't hesitate a second to lodge Natsuki during the repairs of her apartment. Of course Mai was similar, and while reconsidering that, Shizuru's intentions were perhaps not completely selfless. Nevertheless, in Natsuki's heart, that was insignificant. She was with her. During the holidays, they spent most of their time together. But the holidays were over.

She waited at the bus stop looking at the crowd. She didn't like to be with too many people. That was why, she used to ride her bike. Moreover, it was faster. Natsuki truly missed her favourite motorized machine. She remembered how her bike was destroyed. It was Nao's fault! That girl trapped her. And then she remembered Yamada giving her a new bike…

_So what happened then?_

Suddenly, a flashback came to her. She saw herself riding her bike on the roof. Then, she jumped off it. All that she wanted to do was to stop Shizuru. And the bike? Well…

_Dammit, why is this always my motorcycle that takes the damage!_

The biker-girl-without-her-bike finally arrived at school. She noticed Mai at the school entrance with a black-haired girl hanging at her side. Mikoto wore a high-school uniform and was nearly two centimetres taller than last year, but she still acted like a child. They greeted each other and went into the building.

As soon as they were in the main hall, the girls looked at the class list. Mai was surprised to see Natsuki in second year. "Shouldn't you be in the first year?"

The older girl explained, "I should but thanks to Shizuru I got a compromise. I had to suffer for many extra hours to catch up." She frowned, "Plus, I'd rather die than take the first year again and be in the same class as Nao".

"Are you still on bad terms with Nao-chan?" asked Mai concerned.

"Actually, not anymore. But we'll never admit it. You know how stubborn she is."

The red-haired girl gave a knowing smile, "Yes, and I know a girl who used to be."

Natsuki frowned at this remark. Meanwhile, the younger girl observed the list, "Oh, and you took sciences!"

"Of course, I don't like history. Although I thought you would be in the same class as me", affirmed the 17-year-old student, while looking at the Human sciences class to see the name of Yuuichi Tate.

She exclaimed, "Oh my God, don't tell me you take this class just to be with your boyfriend!"

Mai was vexed by this false charge. "Of course not! I'm not that stupid…"

Trying not to be too doubtful, the older girl enquired, "By the way, where is he? I haven't seen him".

Mai shrugged, "Neither have I. But he told me he would go with Shiho-chan for her first day".

Natsuki's eyes opened wide, "She continues to tag along with him! It's not like she hasn't been here before!"

As an answer, Mai merely sighed.

And then, they went to their respective room to undergo the first course of the year.

* * *

This day and the following passed without encumbers. Natsuki attended all her courses, lunched with her friends, went shopping with them. In short, she lived the banal life of a high-school girl.

The other students noticed that Natsuki was not alone any more. They thought that she had calmed down. That's why, some dared to speak to her.

"Hello, Kuga-san…"

Instead of throwing the 'death glare', the new friendlier Natsuki gave a mere smile. Ok, it wasn't the best smile in the world and it felt faked. But it was the best Natsuki could do for a stranger.  
The boy was astonished, for it was so un-Natsuki like.

And then, rumours spread that the wolf was no more dangerous.

**End of chapter 1**

* * *

About the class thing: according to Wikipedia©, in the 2nd class of high-school, the students have the choice between a human sciences oriented class and a sciences oriented one.

I know it is short. I've already typed the following chapter but I would like some advice please before submitting it.  
I read a lot of better fanfics before, however I wanted to try writing a fic and see how my imagination works.


	2. A new boy at school

**Author's notes  
**

First of all, thank you for the reviews :)

If my vocabulary is confuse, feel free to tell me.  
And "OMG" was indeed "Oh, my god". I know, I shouldn't use sms-style.  
About the word "Gosh"... Which word would fit better to Natsuki?

So, about the format... I started this way because I think it is more understandable. It's not obvious in the 1st part since there is not a lot of dialogues compared with this one.  
I dunno yet if I must change it. Well, I will decide according to the reviews.

Having reviews make me really happy :), though it puts pressure on me (it's ok anyways ;)).  
So, I hope my fic will be good from the start to the end and even better :)

And if you wonder if this story is a ShizNat or not, you will have to wait :D

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_  
/Author's notes/

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 2.****  
**

**二 A new boy at school**

It was almost noon. Mai, Natsuki and Mikoto were having lunch with Aoi and Chie. However, the latter two couldn't stay long as they had to "handle something important".

Mai let her gaze wander. She discerned a guy among the crowd. A guy she'd never seen before. And when she noticed that he was staring at Natsuki, she had an idea… "Natsuki, look! This guy is looking at us."

"And? Aren't you dating Tate?"

The younger girl was annoyed, "I am! It's not for me, but for you!"

"What!" the other girl exclaimed astonished.

"It's time for you to have a boyfriend", Mai answered self-confident.

Still stunned, Natsuki asked, "And can you tell me why?"

"'cause you have never been seen with a guy, so I'll continue thinking other things about you…"

The high-tempered girl cut her friend, "Enough! I've already said that I have…"

"…no time for relationship? But now, the festival is over and you know the truth about your past. So, what's next?"

"Well… er…" Natsuki couldn't find a convincing excuse.

"Oh, I know. You're too shy! Maybe should I talk to him…?" Mai stood up and walked in direction of the boy.

Natsuki ran to stop the red-haired girl. "Oi! Mai! No! Wait!" She was embarrassed. "Don't talk to him!"

"What is your problem?"

"I… I…" Natsuki trailed off.

"You?"

"I… err… It's too early…"

"Can you explain it, please?"

Natsuki was blushing more, she didn't like this turn of events. "Well… I…" She shouted furiously, "You know!"

"Know what? Say it!"

"But…"

"If you don't say it, how can you overcome this problem?" Mai was frustrated to see her friend unable to express her feelings.

"I!... I… I'm not prepared… for… love… You know… I just found out how to have friend, how to be nicer… But 'love' is still a thing I don't understand", Natsuki finally confessed.

Mai smiled, "Well, you finally admit it!"

"Aa…" Natsuki was still dizzy because of the confession she made.

Her friend was sympathising, "But, you know, you can simply talk to him and become friends. I wasn't implying that you should date him".

"But if I go talk to him, he'll think I want to ask him out, right?"

Mai thought, "Hum… I'm not sure, boys don't think about that all the time. You just have to talk to him".

"Yes, but…"

"What? Is it still too difficult for you?"

"No… I don't think so…"

Mai encouraged her. "So, come on!"

"But… What will happen if he wants a deeper relationship?"

"What are you talking about? You're just going to talk to him. Not propose to him!"

"I see…" said the resigned Natsuki.

"Good luck, Natsuki!"

"Thanks", she smiled at Mai and went to speak to the new student.

Feeling that there was agitation, Mikoto raised her head out her bento, or perhaps it was because the lunch box was henceforth empty. "What happened, Mai?"

Without leaving her gaze from the leaving Natsuki, Mai answered, "Natsuki is going to make a new friend".

"But you are her friend, aren't you?"

"Yes, but I took the first step." _And although she spends most of her time with us, sometimes she seems so lonely_

Mikoto took a worried look. "Oh… Mai…"

"Yes, Mikoto?"

"I'm starving!"

"But you just finished your lunch!" Mai was astonished.

"Yeah, I know. But it's not enough… I'm in high-school now, I need more energy, mmh!" declared the lively girl.

Mai gave up, "Tchah"

* * *

During this time, Natsuki was on the way to her new destiny. Indeed, she would have a new friend and on her own initiative. She walked slowly in order to have the time to think about it.

_What the hell am I doing!... Ok, Mai thinks I'm unable to make friends? So… We'll see. He is new, he might be more nervous than I am. So, it's not a big deal. Yeah, everything will be all right._

The guy in question was what could be called cute with short, dark hair and blue eyes. He seemed very self-confident. Maybe too much, for he stood with an imposing bearing.

Natsuki started the conversation, "Hum… Hello, you are new here, right?"

The boy turned her head to her, "Hello. Ha, yes. My name is Kikuchi Takeshi", he smiled. "What about you?"

"Kuga… err well. Natsuki."

His smile grew wider, "Oh, what a beautiful name".

At this comment, Natsuki blushed slightly.

Without interrupting his speech, the boy added, "Nice to meet you".

Natsuki didn't want to show her discomfort, "Hum… ah… You seem lost, may I help you?"

"That would be great, thank you. I know I am a little late…

_"Little late"! Are you kidding, the lectures started 1 week ago!_

I am looking for my class. Do you know where it is?"

"The list class isn't posted anymore. You should go directly to the main's office." She pointed to the direction of the main building, "It is this way".

"Oh, thank you very much."

Curious, Natsuki enquired, "By the way, the beginning of the term was the last week. So, why are you so late?" _As if you never missed a class before, huh._

"Oh, well, I had to deal with some accommodation matters", he simply replied.

"You just arrived?"

"Yes, I did. My family and I just moved in. We live not too far from here."

"Ah, so you don't live in the student dorms?"

"No, sorry, but you can visit me if you miss me", the self-confident boy winked.

Natsuki was a bit embarrassed and a bit upset. _He just met me, and he's already teasing me!_ "Stop dreaming! Why should I miss you!"

He shrugged, "I do not know. Well, thank you and sorry, but I have to go. See you… Natsuki-chan!"

As soon as he said that, he headed for the main building leaving a fuming Natsuki. _Who is this ostentatious guy!_

**End of chapter 2**

* * *

I hope it's not (too much) OOC. Mai as the go-between may sound weird, although I think she could act this way. Natsuki is her friend and she wishes the best for her. Please tell me how you find it.

I 'drew' a picture of Kikuchi. If you are interessed in: .. I think you know the others characters, so I don't need to draw them ;)

In the next chapter, my second favourite character will make her entry... But, who is it? ;) (However, you will have to wait longer. It is not completely finished, sorry -)

**Edit 2012**: I change Kikuchi's name. The guy had two last names before... It won't make a difference as everybody will call him by his last name (Kikuchi).


	3. We keep in touch, right?

**Author's notes**

I thank the reviewers and in particular Sayosi. Her help was very useful and I take her advice very seriously. So I modified the previous chapter. :)  
If someone wants to be my beta-reader, please send me a private message.

It may sounds odd but I like using Japanese expressions like in the anime. For those who don't understand, here a small glossary. The meaning may differ from the literally one (and sometimes depends on the context), but I want it to be simple.

Edit: I removed the A/N, is it better that way? ;)

**Glossary:**  
-chan: It's a very familiar name suffix.  
Baka: "Fool".  
Ma ma (now now), mou, ara: Some expressions that Shizuru used in the anime.

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 3.****  
**

**三 ****We keep in touch, right?**

Finally the weekend came. In the town centre, an impatient girl paced up and down the cobblestone. Apparently, she was waiting for someone who was late.

Coming from nowhere, a boy greeted her, "Good morning Natsuki-chan! It is a pleasure to see you here."

Natsuki turned stupefied to the one she expected the least.

"Huh?" _Kikuchi! _

At the sight of the young man, Natsuki couldn't prevent herself to lose her nerves, "What do you want!"

She said she would be friendlier with her classmates, but with this guy, she couldn't help it. He felt so wrong.

_Why should I be nice? He mustn't misinterpret things! _

Her nightmare began two days ago…

* * *

"I would like to present your new classmate", announced the teacher while pointing out the boy who was standing by his side.

The latter introduced him bowing, "I am Kikuchi Takeshi. Nice to meet you!"

The teacher told him to take a seat, the lecture would start.

At that instant, Natsuki started to be scared. Kikuchi looked at her and then he saw the free desk beside her. Taking the empty seat, he gave a smile to the grumpy Natsuki.

All the girls in the class were excited to have Kikuchi in their class. Almost all of them would have joined his fan club.

Surely not Natsuki. The more she saw him, the more she was unpleasant with him.

"What do I want?" repeated the boy, "Well, nothing. I was wandering around. I do not know the city yet, you see…"

"Aa…" _What is he plotting? _

"Would you mind accompanying me around the city please?"

"What!" _I wouldn't bet on it!_ The young girl couldn't retain herself from shouting, "No way!

Realising that she might be a little too hard and over all rude, she appended, "I mean… hum… I'm sorry but I don't have time."

Kikuchi smiled to her, "Ok well, I understand. I will go… See you on Monday! …Natsuki-chan!"

"And stop calling me like that!"

The enraged girl yelled but it was too late. Kikuchi was too far to hear, or maybe he just acted as he didn't hear.

He smiled to himself, _I am sure of it. That girl loves me! She fakes being distant but I will not be duped. _

Natsuki clenched her fists seeing the boy running away._ If I could, I would… _

"Ma, ma. What a handsome guy!" the voice pulled Natsuki out her thoughts.

Natsuki suddenly turned to the voice, "Shi… Shizuru!"

The Kyoto girl asked playfully, "Is he your boyfriend?"

That made Natsuki upset, "Of course not! I barely know him. Idiot!"

Noticing the red on her friend's cheeks, Shizuru couldn't prevent herself from giggling.

Behaviour that Natsuki didn't like, she was vexed, "Stop making fun of me! Moreover, you are late! You should be ashamed!"

She crossed her arms and pouted, trying to make Shizuru feel guilty. It didn't work… It _never_ worked.

Without losing her calm, Shizuru stated, "I am sorry Natsuki but you are wrong. I said to meet me in front of the clock at half past eleven and it is exactly half past eleven."

Natsuki mumbled, "… I understood 11 o'clock."

Felling flattered, the chestnut-haired girl smiled, "Ara… Natsuki was so eager to see me again".

At this comment, Natsuki blushed, " …N… I…", then she added grumbling, "… We should go".

The flushed girl couldn't deny it, her friend was right. But, it was normal after two weeks to miss your best friend, right?

* * *

It was agreed that as soon as they could, they would go to a restaurant together, deciding the place in turns. That day, it was Shizuru's turn to choose.

Shizuru's choice fitted with Natsuki's prime requirement: _La_ mayonnaise.

For Natsuki, this ingredient was the best creation of the century. In fact, she ignored when the mayonnaise was invented but she didn't care. All that mattered was that this mayonnaise was now in her plate.

The girls were sitting at their table. Natsuki had ordered a typical dish, just like Shizuru. The difference was that Natsuki's food was bathed in mayonnaise.

Shizuru started the conversation, "So, how are you doing?"

Natsuki replied without raising her head, "I'm doing fine. What about you?"

"University is different from high school. We have more homework however I can handle it for the time being."

"That doesn't surprise me."

The chestnut-haired girl was stunned by the answer. The younger girl seemed so… distant.

For five minutes, the two friends pronounced no words. Only the voices of the other customers could be heard. Only? It was fully sufficient. The restaurant was crowded. Indeed, it was already noon.

"School is boring", Natsuki broke the silence.

"But you have to study and stop ditching classes. I am not there any more to cover you."

"I know." _Why did you leave? _

Shizuru noticed the worried look on Natsuki's face. "Natsuki, please tell me what you are worrying about."

"I…" _I don't know what will happen to me now! You are not by my side anymore. You live your life at university… and you may forget me…_ "I…"

"Tell me Natsuki, I am listening to you."

Trying to hide her anxiety, the younger stated nonchalantly, "I'm worrying about school, that's all".

It was impossible to lie to Shizuru, especially when it concerned Natsuki, "Is that the truth?"

"Yes of course! What do you want it to be?"

The Kyoto girl sighed, "I was hoping that you missed me a little bit. Apparently, that is not the case. Mou… The truth can be hard sometimes".

The Kyoto girl tried to appear indifferent though it was painful to think for a second that Natsuki didn't miss her at all.

The latter explained, _No, I miss you, Shizuru_ "It's only been about" _ten days_ "…one week… We saw each other almost every day during the holidays. It's not so long".

"It is too long for me. I miss my Natsuki."

The reaction was fast, Natsuki became red as a tomato. She mumbled, "I miss you too".

Her friend was astonished. _She really missed me?_

She was so happy that she couldn't prevent herself from joking, "Sorry, what did you say? I told you a hundred times not to speak with your full mouth... It is very ru..."

"You understood!" thundered Natsuki, "I won't repeat it", and she pouted while crossing her arms.

"Ara… It is still a problem for you to express your feelings", Shizuru added with a teasing tone, "What can I do to change that?" she sighed wrongfully vexed, "I think it will take a long time".

**End of chapter 3**

* * *

It is very short like the previous chapters. The following chapter will arrive soon :)


	4. Ordinary life

**Author's notes**

Err... Here's the 4th chapter, that's all.

I would like to thank Sayosi again for her very precious help :)

**Glossary:**  
-chan, -san, -sama, etc.: Name suffix. More information on Wikipedia (for exemple) with the keywords: Japanese titles  
Ma, ma (now now), mou, ara: Some expressions that Shizuru used in the anime.

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 4.****  
**

**四 ****Ordinary life**

It was Monday. The weekend was short, too short, while the lectures of the morning were long, very long.

Mai, Natsuki and Mikoto lunched at a table.

Then a taller boy came. It was Kikuchi. "Hello Natsuki! Hello girls! May I join you?"

The red-haired girl hesitated "Err… Yes, of course." She turned to Natsuki, "Would it bother you, Natsuki?"

The said girl was irritated. She grumbled, "I don't care!" _How can he take root like that? He barely knows me and he doesn't know either Mai or Mikoto! What a bastard!_

"Err… You're Kikuchi-san, right?" Mai asked the boy

Seating next to them he exclaimed, "That is right! And who are you if I may ask?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm Mai Tokiha."

She expected Mikoto to speak, but the young girl was busy. Eh, she was eating. She gently elbowed her and whispered "Mikoto!"

The younger girl raised her head "Hum?" Noticing the stern look of her friend, she finally introduced herself to Kikuchi, "'Mikoto', mmh, that's my name".

And she resumed her lunch.

"Nice to meet you", the boy paused to think and finally he added, "Hum… You knew my name, right? Shall I understand that Natsuki has talked to you about me?"

"Well…" Mai remembered her talk with Natsuki about the new student.

* * *

"I hate this guy", stated the blue-haired girl.

"Why? He's been here for only two days."

"I know but I have a very bad feeling about him…" She paused, "He tries to interfere with my life. I hate that."

"But you should open up to others."

"Yeah, but I don't want people to intrude my life like that! He barely knows me"

* * *

The boy smiled, "I am flattered".

"You shouldn't be!" yelled the high-tempered girl.

Natsuki's expression made Kikuchi think, _She is too cute when she is angry_.He smiled._ I knew it. I have my chance._

Mai tried to change the subject. "Kikuchi-san, you put a lot of ketchup on your meal, don't you?"

"Yes, that is right! I do love ketchup!" He turned to the mayo addicted. "As for you, it seems to be mayonnaise!"

"Not at all! I… I just put it on and made a mistake. These bottles are not very convenient and…" Her voice trailed off.

"It is ok. You do not have to argue."

"Don't think that we have any common points."

"Actually, it is the contrary". Raising his index, the boy took an intellectual look. "Plus, ketchup and mayonnaise are utterly different. Ketchup is originated in Eastern Asia. Furthermore, it was…"

"Stop it! We don't give a damn! Why do..." Natsuki was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. She picked up still angry, "Yeah?"

On the other side of the line, it was Shizuru. "Hello Natsuki!"

Natsuki immediately softened, "Eh… Shizuru?" While speaking, she walked to a quieter place. "Why are you calling?" _Is there a problem?_

"Don't worry Natsuki. I have an engagement this week-end. That is why I will not be able to see you on Saturday as we planned. I am really sorry, Natsuki."

" Aa… Ok…" _An engagement on Saturday? What is it? …Wait, what am I thinking? She can do what she wants… She's not bound to me. _

Natsuki was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't listen to Shizuru.

"…following week-end. Do you agree?"

The distracted girl hadn't the least idea of what Shizuru was saying. "Huh… err… yes…"

"Perfect! So, see you then! Don't forget to listen to your teachers carefully. Attending the courses is the right path, but you have to be attentive."

"Yeah, yeah, I know."

"Bye, Natsuki."

"Bye…"

Disappointed, she rejoined the others at the table.

Kikuchi was worried, "What happened, Natsuki-chan? You look so sad".

"Mind your own business!" shouted a wild Natsuki and she suddenly left, leaving Mai and Kikuchi gaping.

_What happened to me? Why am I… afraid?_

* * *

Two days after, Natsuki went to Fuuka University.

_It's not because she cancelled our meeting. It's because she agreed to give me her old course notes. I have this damn essay to write… It's not because I want to see her… No!_

Shizuru was walking in the hallway talking with other students. She seemed to be happy.

Witnessing the scene, Natsuki couldn't prevent herself from thinking, H_uh? Who are those people? She doesn't have time for me but with those people she… Stop! Get a grip, Natsuki! What the hell are you thinking? She won't always be by your side! Grow up a little!_

Shizuru finally noticed the I-think-too-much girl. _Am I dreaming or is it really Natsuki?_ "Natsuki?"

She asked her classmates to be excused and went in Natsuki's direction. "Good afternoon, Natsuki! Shouldn't you be in class at this time?

Ma, ma, you are incorrigible. Hardly have I turned my back that you take up your bad habits again…"

The visitor seemed vexed. "Eh! It's important! Furthermore, it's your entire fault!"

Natsuki's behaviour amused the older girl. "Really? What did I do? Will Natsuki punish me? Mou, I am a bad girl. Naughty Shizuru, naughty."

Her friend started being angry, "Will you stop joking? I'm serious!"

"Well, I am all yours."

"Aa… I… Err…" She took a breath and quickly said while looking down, "You forgot to give me your notes. You said you would give them to me on Saturday and then you called to say you would not be free this day".

She said it rapidly; as if the slower she spoke, the faster Shizuru was going to detect the lie.

Shizuru couldn't refrain herself from giggling. "If you wanted to see me, you should have said it earlier."

"What? You're wrong! I'm talking about the notes."

"I know. That is the point. Do you not remember agreeing to receive my notes by mail? And I added that we would meet the following week-end."

Natsuki tried remembering their conversation. [_What? The.. "…the following week-end." Why didn't I listen to her?]_ "Aa… I just… misunderstood…"

The chestnut-haired girl smiled at her friend's behaviour, "Ara, ara. My Natsuki misunderstands many things lately".

_Her_ Natsuki couldn't take it any more. Shizuru was constantly making fun of her. That pissed her off. "Will you stop making fun of me all the time? Each time you see me, you cannot prevent yourself from teasing me. It's really annoying!"

_Too far, Shizuru. You crossed the line…_ "I am sincerely sorry Natsuki. I did not mean to hurt you. Usually I get a scowl from you, which makes you so cute. I did not know that it could disturb you to such an extent."

It was impossible to read in Shizuru's eyes. However, Natsuki knew her friend well, and she could see in those eyes that Shizuru's apology came from her heart of hearts.

Feeling a little guilty, she mumbled, "I have to leave_…_" before walking to the exit.

_Why did I lose my temper? Shouldn't I be used to the teasing?_

Before the high-school student was out of sight, Shizuru exclaimed more loudly, "Good bye, Natsuki!"

The older girl got only a wave from Natsuki.

_What's wrong with you, Fujino? She came to see you and…_

"FU-JI-NO!" barked someone.

Turning her head to the voice, Shizuru faintly smile, "Ha? Suzuchiro-san?" _The day had started well yet…_

Haruka was quite angry. "What are you doing? Aren't you aware there is an exam right now?"

"Well, of course I know. Nevertheless, I thank you for reminding me of that", calmly replied the young woman.

She followed the high-tempered student into the classroom. The professor was about to distribute the tests.

"You have two hours."

The test was rather tough. It required all Shizuru's attention. However, the girl's mind was preoccupied by only one thing.

_What did I do? I hurt her. I have to find some way to be forgiven… I must talk to her._

* * *

At Fuuka high-school, in the empty corridors, Natsuki was turning her back to Shizuru.

"Natsuki."

"What do you want? Are you bored? Is that why you came to tease me?" She turned to see her friend.

"I know I was awful, but please forgive me", pleaded the university student.

"Why should I do such a thing?"

"Because you know that each time I taunt you I am not serious. Because… I love you, Natsuki."

"You keep repeating that but… but… you never… show it… How can I believe you?"

The older student came closer. She laid her hand on Natsuki's right cheek, but Natsuki turned her head away. "If I could, I would show you every day how much I love you…"

The other girl frowned and shouted, "That's what you say… Prove it to me!"

The more they spoke, the louder they were shouting.

Shizuru was offended, "I can't! It's impossible!"

"Why? Why is it impossible for you? You don't want to love me, right?"

"I told you that I couldn't! I want to, but I can't!"

"And why? Tell me why?"

"Because, Natsuki… I don't want to hurt you!"

"Really? Have you ever thought that what kills me is when you say you love me but you never show it to me?"

Shizuru was puzzled and became suddenly quiet, "Natsuki?

Natsuki slowly came closer to Shizuru.

"Natsuki? What are you doing? Natsuki?"

However, the latter didn't seem to listen. Closer, she leaned into kiss Shizuru, and she whispered, "That's what I call loving someone".

"Na…"

"Fu-ji-no!" A voice came from nowhere.

_What!_

"Are you stupid?" The blond haired girl refrained herself from yelling. Indeed, they were still in the classroom where the exam was taking place.

Shizuru was a bit lost. "Sorry?" It took her some time to realise._ A dream… It was just a damn dream!_

Haruka didn't want to let it go. Shizuru's behaviour was really getting on her nerves. "It's a very important exam and you're sleeping?"

Regaining her composure, the Kyoto girl didn't want to miss the opportunity to tease her classmate, "Well, I wanted to give you the chance to defeat me".

That had the desired effect. The girl grumbled and started speaking louder, "I should've let you sleep, but you kept repeating your friend's name! That's disturbing!"

"Wha…"

"Do you want some biscuits with your tea!" interrupted their professor. "Shall I remind you where you are? It's not a tea-room here!"

_No, sorry, I don't take any biscuits with my tea. I think it's awful_. Shizuru quickly stood up and bowed. "Please accept my apologies."

Then she took her test again.

**End of chapter 4**

* * *

I didn't italicise the dream part since I wanted it to be a surprise Did it work? No? °sigh°  
In this part, Natsuki may appear OOC and what she says is probably nonsense. However, it is in Shizuru's dream. Everyone knows that dreams are not (always) reality °sigh°  
"Shizuru swore?" Err… yes. I like to think that Shizuru is not so perfect in her mind. Maybe I'm wrong, but we'll never know.


	5. Wrong impression

**Author's notes**

Thank you all for your reviews :)

Finally, I rewrote my fanfic without the"script style". However, I know that some people prefer the script form.  
Consequently, I'll keep both versions, but let me some time to deal with it since I cannot put the two versions here.

To Hayase : It's true that using the "script" style differentiates me from the others, but the majority had decided. However, I agree with you, and don't worry, there will be the two versions.

**I don't forget to thank my beta-reader Sayosi for her useful help :)**

**Glossary:**  
Ikezu: "Mean" in Kansai dialect**  
**

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_  
/Author's notes/

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 5.  
**

**_五 _****_Wrong impression_**

Four weeks have passed since school activities took their course again the beginning of the term.

Walking in the lobby, Natsuki passed in front of the Student Council room. Memories came to her mind. She remembered when she spent her time there, looking for information on the First District and about her mother. She remembered Shizuru being at her side, teasing as often as she could. With these thoughts, the blue-haired girl could almost see the Kyoto girl looking through the window. Wait… Shizuru was _actually_ at the window. The biker-girl bursted into the room.

"What are you doing here!"

Unaffected, the refined girl merely responded, "Hello Natsuki. It has hardly been a month since I have not been at this school, and you have already lost your good manners."

"Aa." She looked down and muttered, "Sorry. Hello". She avoided Shizuru's gaze. "It's just… I wonder why you are here."

"Is that not clear? I take my role as president very seriously."

The disconcerted student inspected her friend. "Tell me if I missed something, but you're not the student council president anymore. You study at the university, remember!"

"Mou, Natsuki, I thought you would be happy to have me here, however, it seems to be the contrary."

Natsuki felt apologetic. "Oi… sorry… but I don't understand…"

"I came back only for my Natsuki", explained Shizuru with a seductive look.

This comment earned her a blush from Natsuki. Before the latter could protest, a boy made his entry.

"Fujino-san? Why are you here? I mean, your presence doesn't bother me, but it's surprising to see you here."

The university student stated friendly, "I wanted to make sure that all is in order, but it seems to be going well, President".

Natsuki's eyes grew wider._ What! _

The boy showed his gratitude. "It is, thank you for caring."

During five long minutes, not a word was said until the new President broke the silence between them.

"So…" He looked at the two girls whom stayed immobile, looking at each other. "…I'm sorry Fujino-san, but I have to go. It was a pleasure to see you again."

"Take care."

As a good-bye, Natsuki grumbled.

As soon as the boy left, Natsuki shouted, "Why did you lie? Do you enjoy making fun of me that much?" _I was hoping that you really came back for me… Tsk. I mean… It is always useful to have the President as a friend._

"Well, now that you mention that to me…" She faked a vexed look. "I have to confess. It is true. I need to tease my Natsuki." She continued with an absurd dramatic tone, "Oh, how will I survive? I am addicted to teasing Natsuki. I cannot help it. It is such a pain. Ouch."

And then, she waited for Natsuki to answer. It took a long time. Shizuru started panicking inwardly.

_No, please Natsuki. Don't hate me. I will stop. I am too stupid. I ignore why I act like this but… _

"You are ridiculous." Natsuki's statement was concise but clear.

The older girl inwardly sighed in relief. "There is not a single bad way to make Natsuki's cheeks as red as a tomato."

Natsuki forced herself not to blush, but it was useless. She could rapidly feel the heat accumulating in her cheeks. That made her angrier.

_I don't understand why she does that… I say that it bothers me, but it doesn't stop her. Is it sort of a revenge because…I don't love her like she wants?_

Refusing to think about it, she added calmly, "Hum… err… I was going to lunch. Do you want to come with me?"

Shizuru was really relieved, "Is that even a question? It is always a pleasure to lunch with my Natsuki". _Please, Natsuki, don't frighten me like this any more. _

* * *

The two girls were picnicking on the grass at their favourite spot. Natsuki brought two very simple homemade club sandwiches, whilst Shizuru had a beautiful black enamelled lunch-box with the engraving of a heliotrope on the top. The younger student peeked at her friend's box to see if she could pick some pieces of fish. She didn't want to beg; after all, it was impolite. Noticing that, Shizuru couldn't abstain herself from thinking.

_Why are you so cute? It is so unbearable. _"Natsuki?"

"Hum?"

The perfect Kyoto girl gave to her so-adorable friend a small lunch-box. It was almost the same as hers, except that on this one a columbine was carved.

"I would not let you go starving."

Natsuki would have liked to answer her; however, she wouldn't take the risk of losing the precious bento.

"Hum… Thanks."

Before opening the lunch-box, she took one of her sandwiches and presented it to Shizuru. "Err… Do you want… this in exchange?"

_You have many qualities Natsuki, but cooking is not one of them. Stop it, Shizuru. It is not the right time._ "You are very nice. Nevertheless, I think this bento will be enough."

Natsuki looked at the bento and then she looked at the sandwich. "I see."

"Hello, Natsuki!" Kikuchi was knelling down beside the two girls.

Natsuki didn't pleasantly welcome the new intruder. _Can't you just let me enjoy this moment?_ "What the hell do you want!"

"I was looking for you." He was singing, "I think I am lucky today". Then, his glance went on his other neighbour. "Oh, please introduce me to your beautiful friend."

Natsuki was confused. _What!_

"Ara, ara. You are too flattering. I am Fujino Shizuru. And you?"

_Fujino?_ "My name is Kikuchi Takeshi. I think I have already been told about you."

"I hope that it was in a good way."

He sighed inwardly. "Yes, of course." He smiled. "You are the famous former president of the Student Council."

For ten seconds, the two well-mannered students were looking at each other, trying to read each other's eyes.

For the witness of the scene, it seemed to last an eternity. Natsuki wasn't able to understand what was happening in front of her.

_Hello! I'm here! What's happening between these two? Could Shizuru… No, no. Stop thinking that. _

The two other students were also busied in their own thoughts.

_Fujino Shizuru… The girl from Kyoto. I understand now... _

_Why cannot I read his eyes? Why does he give the impression of hiding something? _

Without leaving his glare from Shizuru, the boy finally said, "Okay. I will talk to you later, Natsuki-chan".

Natsuki was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn't reply to this familiarity. She was looking at Kikuchi who was leaving.

Whilst the older girl didn't stop thinking, _Who is that guy that dares talking to my Natsuki like that? However…why did Natsuki not react? She should be revolted. Does it mean that… _

Finally, the girls finished their meal and they went back to their respective establishments.

* * *

In the hallways of the Fuuka University, the thundering voice of a professor could be heard. He apparently had a huge trouble with his students. In this class, a hundred terrorized young people listened to their torturer.

The latter was shouting, "What! And you dare call that a test! Are you joking? You students have the worst average in the school. However, I have to admit; only one copy stands out from the crowd. Please come here when I call your name."

While the teacher gave the notes, Haruka was addressing Shizuru.

"You think you have the best mark, huh? You're wrong! Unlike you, I did not sleep during the exam. And you can keep saying that…"

Shizuru listened to neither the teacher nor Haruka. Her mind was away.

_I should buy tea. Yes, Gyokuro tea. There is almost none left. I wonder if I will have the time to go before dinner… _

Meanwhile, the students were executed one by one. Finally, Shizuru's turn came.

"I was very disappointed. I heard a lot of good things about you. I hope that it is only an accident. Sixty-five percent."

As soon as Shizuru sat, the blond-haired girl was laughing.

"The Perfect Fujino Shizuru not getting full points! I should tell it to everybody."

Haruka didn't stop laughing until her name was called.

"Haruka Suzushiro!"

"Yes, that's me."

At the beginning, the professor talked casually. "You have surprised me. Your assessment was… very… I have to congratulate you…"

The proud girl couldn't prevent herself from dreaming.

_So, Shizuru, do you still think that you are better than me? I'll be the top this year… _

Haruka's daydream was interrupted by the very upset professor. "Congratulations, your test was the worst that I have ever corrected in my carrier! If it were possible, you would have a negative mark! You should concentrate instead of talking with your friends during the test."

Shizuru didn't wait for her classmate to be seated to take her revenge. "Suzushiro-san, are you aware that the objective is to have the higher percentage?"

"Sh! I don't need your raillery, Fujino!

Effectively, it was useless to say another word. Haruka was already irritated enough.

* * *

At the end of the day, Natsuki was dinning at Shizuru's. They had a small talk. Suddenly, Shizuru brought a thorny subject in the discussion.

"Say, Natsuki. I was told that you spend a lot of time with Kikuchi-san. Does it mean that Natsuki has finally found a boyfriend?" _I really need to know, do you feel something for him, Natsuki? _

The older girl was chuckling whereas her heart was crying.

Natsuki was puzzled by such a _stupid_ question. "Are you crazy! Whatever I do, he keeps tagging along with me, that's all." She looked down, "I can't be in love with him".

"Oh, I understand. Natsuki is too young for this kind of relationship." Teasing was the way Shizuru used to hide her sorrow. _"Can't"… Would you love him if you could? _

The younger girl appeared embarrassed. "Enough! I DON'T love him!"

The outwardly so-calm girl noticed the slight blush on her friend's cheeks. _Why do you blush? No! Please don't tell me that._ "Why don't you? He is cute and seems to be nice."

Maybe Shizuru was becoming insane, but she _really_ wanted to know if Natsuki could be in love with Kikuchi.

This time Natsuki didn't blush. She wished to stop this talk. "'Cause, he is not the kind of guy I seek." _Why did I say that! She will ask… _

Indeed, the unavoidable query was posed.

"So, Natsuki, what is 'the kind of guy' you seek?"

The shy girl was losing her temper. "I… I don't know! But why do you want me to love him!" _Are you not supposed to be jealous? _

As always, Shizuru kept herself calm. "Because, I want Natsuki to be happy." _Even if it kills me to think for a second that you could love him. _

Natsuki blushed immediately. "I don't need him to be happy…"

"Ara…what do you need?"

This discussion was definitively too discomforting. The blushing girl tried to skip the subject and grumbled, "Now, I need more mayonnaise"

Understanding that it wasn't worthwhile to continue, Shizuru joked, "Ma, ma. Natsuki will get sick if she continues eating like this."

"I don't care", was the only reply she got from the complaining Natsuki.

"But I'll be sad if Natsuki is sick."

"I still don't care!"

Shizuru made pretence of crying. "**Ikezu**! Natsuki is such a meanie."

The "meanie" tried to stay unaffected… _If you are trying to soften me, you failed… _In fact, it was useless..._ Sometimes the perfect Shizuru is so adorable. Wait, why did I think that!_

* * *

The following day, Natsuki was obsessed with one thought.

_Why did Shizuru talk about Kikuchi? And why did she ask if I liked him? _

_Does she want me to love him? No, that's stupid… She said she loved me… Why would she act like that...? _

_Oh… Maybe she… No, no, no. Shizuru would never do that! _

Natsuki bitterly laughed to herself.

_In truth, that would explain a lot of things. In three weeks, we only saw each other three times, and one time was unexpected. So, perhaps... She wants to get rid of me. _

_Say, Shizuru? Is it because I don't love you as you wish? _

* * *

A few kilometres from there, another girl was also lost in her thoughts.

_Does she really love him? No, it is impossible! He is the one who looks for Natsuki. Natsuki doesn't care. Yes, she can't love him, she _doesn't_. However, these rumours… Did Natsuki lie to me? _

In front of the sudden realisation, tears started to accumulate in Shizuru's eyes.

_Maybe she will never love me. Maybe I should let her go. I think that is better since… _

"FU-JI-NO!"

_Why does she feel obliged to call me this way!_ In Shizuru's heart, there was a mixture of anger and sadness, and the unexpected appearance of Haruka would not help the normally calm girl to feel better.

"Suzushiro-san? May I help you?"

Wearing the perfect mask made her sick. She wanted to flip over the tables, throw the seats through the window, and break all that was in her way, but she couldn't.

Haruka discerned the traces of tears on the face of the elegant girl. Even though she might be harsh, she had a heart. "Err… The principal wants to see you in her office. I suppose that you know why."

"I know. Thank you, Suzushiro-san."

Haruka wished to comfort the former president; however, she knew that Shizuru cared for her own pride. That was why she tried another approach.

"Even though I find your feelings for that girl, Kuga-san, to be improper, I feel that we should drop the formalities and call ourselves by our first name, don't you think?" She smirked.

Obviously, it was perhaps not the best moment, nor the best method to alleviate Shizuru's rage.

Shizuru didn't even seek any more to understand her. She was so pissed off that she left without saying goodbye.

**End of chapter 5.**

* * *

Don't forget to review :)


	6. Telling the truth is always right

**Author's notes**

Here's the update.

**I thank Sayosi for her beta-reading :)**

Thank Hayase too for her help and sorry if there's no script anymore (for now :p)

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 6.  
**

**六 Telling the truth is always right.**

One week later. In Natsuki's class, all the students were a little agitated.

"Congratulations to Kikuchi. He's our new class representative!" shouted a girl.

"Well, thank you for voting for me… I would like at first to begin by…"

While Kikuchi did his speech, a student came to Natsuki. "Congrats to you too!"

Natsuki looked at him perplexed, "Why?"

"'Cause since he's your boyfriend, you will benefit from his position!"

The concerned girl was, of course, offended, "What! Shu…"

"Well, Murai-kun, the advantages of a class representative are not much than those of a student", Kikuchi stated, coming towards them.

"Oh, ok. Just kidding. Well, see you!"

"Oi! Wait, there is…" But the boy was too far to hear her. Natsuki turned violently to Kikuchi. "You! Why didn't you deny that we are together?"

"If he wants to think so, I do not care. It does not bother me… Natsuki-chan", saying these words, he gently fondled the girl's cheek.

"Sto..." Before she could protest, he left, waving his hand.

_That boy! I will _kill_ him!_

* * *

At the end of the classes on her way home, Natsuki met a junior high schoolgirl. The younger girl looked very frightened. She was remembering her first meeting with the 'dark-haired witch'. A year ago she had accidentally pushed the taller girl. That day, she had thought she would have died.

Natsuki didn't remember this meeting. Perceiving how scared the other girl was, she wanted to be friendly. She tried her new test-in-progress friendly smile. As a result, the shy girl ran away as far as she could. _Nooo, she will kill me! _

"Will you stop traumatising young people?" asked a voice with a Kyoto accent.

Natsuki turned to the voice. "Shizuru?... You didn't inform me that you were coming."

"Well, it would not be a surprise then, right?" She slightly tilted her head to side.

Even if Natsuki didn't show it, she was happy. _After all, maybe I had formed a wrong idea about her. She came to see me… Oi… Why am I suddenly feeling happy? Wait... We saw each other a week ago; it's been a long time. So, it's okay to feel that towards a friend. Right? Right… _

Shizuru had, for a long time, thought about the events of the previous week, but she didn't want to think about it, she didn't have to. All that mattered to her this day was to speak to Natsuki. That was why she was here.

"I apologise, Natsuki, my coming is impromptu. Nonetheless, I have to talk to you…"

* * *

At the same time as packing her luggage, Shizuru was thinking aloud, "I assume it is better like this".

Suddenly, the door was violently opened. Natsuki rushed into her friend's apartment. "Do you believe that running away is the solution?"

"Ara ara, Natsuki. How would you have reacted if I were getting dressed?"

"You always close your door therefore that would have never occurred!" She looked away while pouting.

"If Natsuki wanted to see me undressed, she should have asked me", said the older girl playfully.

"Shizuru!" She looked down. "Stop it and answer my question… please."

Understanding that it was not the time for teasing, Shizuru declared, "Well, Natsuki, it is not like I have the choice".

Natsuki raised her head. "How long have you known about _it_?"

The other girl felt embarrassed. She had known about _it_ for more than one month, and she didn't tell it to her friend. "Natsuki…"

"No, no, no. It was planned a long time ago and you waited until the last moment to announce it to me." Annoyance and disappointment could be perceived in Natsuki's voice. "Why did you not tell me earlier?"

"I was afraid."

Natsuki repeated her friend's words in amazement, "You were afraid? Of what? Me?"

"I was afraid to see that you would not miss me when I leave."

"Why would I not miss you? You are my best friend, Shizuru!"

"That is the point. I am _only_ your best friend."

Natsuki asked, concerned, "What do you want me to do? How can I help you?"

"There is nothing. There is nothing you can do. It is difficult to be comforted by the one who makes you suffer."

"So… Do you think there is no solution?" questioned the disconcerted younger girl.

"I think so."

Natsuki took a sarcastic tone. "Ok, then, I wish you a safe trip!"

"See… Maybe you will miss me at the beginning… Then, you will quickly forget me, as I am not your only friend any more."

Natsuki was so irritated, realising what Shizuru thought about her, that she slapped her friend.

Shizuru closed her eyes to prevent her tears from flowing. She didn't want to face the truth: Natsuki hated her. She raised her hand to her cheek. She didn't feel anything.

When Shizuru reopened her eyes, all that she could see was the darkness. She was in the obscurity, she was in her room, in her bed, sweating.

_Thank goodness, it was _just_ a dream. I hope that it is not a premonitory one._

_Why were you unable to tell her the truth, Fujino? It would have been easier._

The memories of this afternoon came to her mind.

* * *

"Yes, I'm listening", said the blue-haired girl, a little worried by the last sentence her friend spoke.

_I did not tell it to you earlier, but I will be absent for a few months._ "Would you like to do some shopping with me?"

Natsuki looked at Shizuru, surprised. Indeed, that was not the kind of question she was expecting. "Err… sure."

* * *

The two friends were walking down the commercial streets of the town centre.

The younger girl was in an unusual talkative mood. "Oi, Shizuru! I forgot to tell you that… I won two tickets for a concert! I don't remember the name… Err…" She took a ruffled paper from her pocket and read it. "Ah… Err… 'Congratulations, you win' blah blah blah 'two tickets' blah blah… Ah, I get it! 'For'…" She took the paper closer to her eyes, trying to decipher it. Unable to understand that was written, she grumbled, "I can't read the beginning, there is mayo… err… something on it!

_I should be careful with my stuff, huh._

… I can only make out the end: 'something –Symphony Orchestra'"

"Ara… I did not know that Natsuki could have such a refined taste for _our_ first date."

_A date? What!_ "No!" she screamed, her voice then becoming softer and softer. "I would like to thank you… because of me, you weren't able to enjoy your holidays since you helped me with my extra-lessons…"

Shizuru smiled, "You do not need to thank me. It was a pleasure to help my Natsuki".

Embarrassed, _her_ Natsuki blushed.

The older girl wanted to have more information about this _date_. "When will this concert take place?"

"Let me see… It's in two months… The fifteenth of July. There's a lot of time until the concert!"

_Two month… _"I am sorry, Natsuki. I will not be free that day"

This statement had obviously surprised the other girl. _How could she plan something so far in advance?_ "Err… but who will come with me? I don't want to go there alone!" _Especially since I accepted these tickets for you. Going to such a concert, me? No way!_

_Is that all that I am for you? A substitute?_ "I will not always be by your side."

"I know, you've already said that. In case you didn't know, I'm doing fine without you. I do my homework, I go to school, and I even help some classmates who have some problems in maths. See, I don't need your help anymore." _I only need you. No! I mean… She's my friend. I only need her as a friend… yes. Friend._

"I was not speaking about school, Natsuki. I mean in general."

"What do you mean?"

"In the future, we will not always be together. You will live your life, you will have a job and you will dwell in a big house. However, I wonder how you will deal with the cooking matter. I think you may get married anyway. Oh, I will be happy to see your children."

_She still wants to get rid of me! Plus, why does she talk about marriage? Don't tell me she's talking about that guy again! Dammit, she is obsessed with this idea!_

She declaimed, "Are you talking about Kikuchi?"

_Why did she think immediately about him? I believe… I must accept the reality… There is something between those two._

She faked an innocent look. "Not particularly. I did not know Natsuki to be interested in this kind of man. I was always thinking about Natsuki with a bad boy, riding a motorcycle."

Natsuki felt that the subject became thorny and she did not want to have a fight with her friend. That was why she swept her thoughts away and tried to tease Shizuru.

She asked, self-confident, "Why do you keep asking me about Kikuchi and me? Are you jealous?"

Shizuru was surprised to see so much confidence in Natsuki, but she wanted to play too.

"Ara… Yes, I am. I never thought that Natsuki would ever cheat on me." _You are always so talented to avoid the delicate subjects, right, Fujino?_

And of course, she won. Natsuki's cheeks became red.

_Why do you keep talking about him? You are the only one who makes me feel like this… What! What happened to me? I've been having weird thoughts lately._

**End of chapter 6**

* * *

_Voilà..._

So, what do you think about this chapter?


	7. Tempus fugit

**Author's notes  
**

Thank you for the reviews :) They help me continue this fic :)

I would like to thank Sayosi for her beta-reading :)

and a special 'kass-dédi' to Hayase.

Here's (finally) the 7th chapter!

**Legend:**

_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 7****  
**

**七 Tempus fugit**

This morning, the awakening was tough for Miss Fujino. She didn't sleep enough. For one week, she kept having the same nightmare, again and again, every night, because she felt guilty for not having told the truth to Natsuki. She seemed very tired, her face was pale, she had rings under the eyes.

However, when she arrived at the university this morning, she was perfect as always. Like every day, many students greeted her. She was only in first year, but she was already famous.

And this day, like every day, seemed so perfect, and the whole week would be so perfect as well.

And this week would pass without Shizuru being able to say the truth to Natsuki.

Shizuru knew it well. This dream, which haunted her, revealed her deepest fears to her. Yes, Shizuru was scared, scared of facing the truth, scared of realising that Natsuki would not miss her. Oh, of course, Natsuki told her that she would miss her, however Shizuru felt it was not herself who was missing but her help.

_No, it's false, she loves me._

Gradually, she remembered the words that Natsuki said during the Festival.

_"I also love you, Shizuru"_

_What did that mean? What kind of feelings do you have towards me, Natsuki?_

"_But, I can't have the feeling that you wish I did." _

_Why did you say that? Can't you love me or don't you want to?_

_And that kiss, was it fake? No, she couldn't do such a thing mindlessly._

That day, she was really blissful. She understood that Natsuki loved her, and even if she died, that didn't have any importance; she had left this world in her lover's arms.

That's why as soon as the Festival and the HiME stuff were over, she had stopped suppressing her feelings towards Natsuki.

She was less distant, she didn't hesitate any more to get closer to her… She thought that is was necessary to give Natsuki time, which would lead the younger girl to opening up to her, as was the case three years ago.

_Three years already… Time flies…_

Shizuru saw Natsuki opening up to her, opening her heart, trusting in her.

But now, everything was tearing down. Her thoughts were muddled.

How long would she be able to bear being so close to Natsuki and yet so far?

_Perhaps if I wait long enough, Natsuki would return my feelings..._

She morosely laughed to herself.

They spent their holidays together, but nothing happened. So, did it mean that Natsuki would _never_ love her like she wanted?

And then, there was also that boy, Kikuchi. Shizuru didn't like him at all. Actually, she _hated_ him. Nevertheless, she didn't understand why Natsuki let him hang at her side, why Natsuki let somebody like him interfere in her life so easily.

That's why Shizuru continued to talk about Kikuchi to Natsuki. It might appear foolish, but Shizuru wanted to be sure, she had to be.

And if it turned out that Natsuki had a weakness for him, Shizuru would have to do more than _merely_ accept it.

If she couldn't be Natsuki's lover, she would be her guide, her friend. And as a friend, she had to help her, even if it killed her. Yes, it was Shizuru's adage toward Natsuki. Giving, helping, loving without waiting something in return.

"What are you still doing here?" A voice pulled Shizuru out her reflections.

"Suzushiro-san? I believe I forgot that this lecture was cancelled." Indeed, Shizuru was still sitting in the empty classroom, although she knew well that there were no more lessons until the afternoon.

"You forgot, huh? Since when do you forget something?"

The taller girl preferred not to answer to this affront.

Haruka didn't bring her flow to an end, "It's that girl again! When will you end up giving her up? She's not the type who would love you. I even doubt that she is the kind who would love somebody at all".

Abruptly, time ceased.

That was scary; Shizuru raised an angel smile whereas her voice was giving shivers, "Haruka-san, I expect you not to speak about Natsuki with this tone".

Considering her lack of discernment, Haruka felt sorry –or maybe she was too scared- and she reluctantly apologised, "…ok...sorry".

However, she was exasperated to have fallen useless. This is the reason why she stated calmly but firmly, "I'll lay it on the line. You're such a coward. You are not able to tell her that you will leave for several months to the other side of the world. What kind of friend are you?"

And then, Haruka stopped talking. Ten seconds ago, she was sure of her speech, but after all, it was perhaps not a good idea.

She feared for her life, as Shizuru was too calm to her liking.

Shizuru didn't react, the tactless girl was right: she was a coward.

Feeling that Shizuru was finally ready to listen to her, Haruka carried on, "I thought you were in love with her, yet that appears to be false".

At length, the Kyoto student quietly replied, "I do love her".

"Why do you not show it?"

"I do, I always do. Caring, listening, sympathy, understanding, kindness, consideration... I could kill for her." _I had._ "What more can I do?" Exasperation, frustration, sadness, anger could be espied in Shizuru's tone.

"So why don't you tell her the truth. If you love her, you shouldn't lie to her."

Shizuru's emotions were all mixed up. "I… don't know… I was afraid. I don't want to lose her. I know if I leave we will be more distant. Our relationship will change. I don't want so."

The former Executive Board Leader didn't understand her classmate's behaviour. It was so irrational, so un-Shizuru like. "What does it change if you don't tell her the truth?"

The decomposed student sadly smiled inwardly. She hadn't even thought of that. "Nothing actually."

Shizuru stood up and headed to the door. Leaving, she turned her head to Haruka, "Haruka?"

"Yes?"

"How did you know that I was worrying about Natsuki?"

The blonde girl stated proudly, "It was easy, this kind of details doesn't escape a fine sleuth like me." And with a more serious look she added, "Kuga-san is the only one who renders you vulnerable".

Shizuru faintly smiled and left the room.

* * *

During the lunch break, Shizuru went to Fuuka High School to see Natsuki. The latter was with Mai and Mikoto having lunch. She was glad to see Natsuki joyful, having friends, not alone any more. Her mission was undeniably a success.

Mai was the first who noticed the university student's presence as Natsuki faced back and Mikoto was busy. -No, she wasn't eating, she was studying her book. She had a very important examination today, mmh!-

"President?"

Natsuki turned her head. "Shizuru?"

"Ara ara, Tokiha-san, you do not need to call me like that. I am not the Student Council President any more."

"So… Fujino-san, how is the university?"

"It is bigger, you have more freedom, and there is a greater diversity of the courses. I believe that you will like it."

"Really?"

"Yes, I think so. Please excuse me, but I would like to talk to Natsuki." She turned to the aforementioned. "Natsuki, do you mind if we go elsewhere?"

The two girls moved to a quieter place.

Natsuki wondered about what Shizuru wanted to speak.

"I am sorry to interrupt you in your lunch, Natsuki."

"Never mind it."

"You seemed to enjoy your time."

As an answer, Natsuki merely nodded.

"I came in order to speak with you about something important."

Natsuki didn't understand her friend. "That was you said the last time we met, but we had only went shopping."

"I know. It is because I dreaded your reaction", explained the very calm student.

Natsuki was really lost. _What is she plotting?_

"Natsuki, I…"

Shizuru was disrupted by happy screams. In one shot, a horde of fan girls bolted on her like bulls released in an arena.

The girls shouted all together in an unintelligible hubbub:

- "President!" - "It has been a long time!" – "Did you come to see us?" – "If I had known that you were coming, I would have prepared a bento for you."

The girls were restless like bees around their beehive. As for Natsuki, they rather looked like flies around an old cake. She was astonished. It was like she was the witness of the arrival of a rock star. Some girls were crying. It was crazy. It was unbearable.

She clenched her teeth and her fists. _Leave her alone, bunch of parasites! Leech!_

Seeing Natsuki upset, Shizuru smiled, "Ma, ma. Please be quiet. What is this behaviour?" She waited for the fans to calm down and she added, "I am sorry, yet I do not have the time. I have to talk with Kuga-san. However, I will come back to see you as soon as possible".

The fan girls went away, bitterly disappointed. "See! I told you we shouldn't disturb her when she was with Kuga-san!"

"Oh! So the rumours were true!"

"They were even based, according to a first year high-school girl…"

"If it is the case, it is sad for President."

"What do you mean?"

"What! You didn't know about this! Rumour has it that Kuga-san and Kikuchi-san are..."

* * *

"So, what did you want to tell me?" Natsuki was losing her patience.

"I told you that I followed French class, right?"

Natsuki was losing track. "Err… Yes…"

"Well, I passed my exam, even though it was very tricky."

"Ah, congratulations." _Why is she boasting about that? Normally, she never does that._

"That means that I have been selected."

"Ah… For what?" asked a completely naïve Natsuki.

Shizuru, who appeared to be happy, became suddenly sad.

"Natsuki…"

The other girl was speechless.

"Natsuki, I will have to be gone for awhile."

Feeling the tragic tone in Shizuru's voice, Natsuki realised that this absence was not trivial. "What do you mean?"

"I was selected to travel to France."

Natsuki's heart was accelerating. She started sweating. She was afraid but didn't plan to show it. "Aa… When do you leave?"

"In two weeks."

All of a sudden, the younger girl felt dizzy, even so she yelled of fury, "What! And how long have you known about it?"

"Natsuki…"

Natsuki sensed how guilty Shizuru felt. That's why she cut her off. "No, no, no! You knew it for a long time and you waited until the last moment to announce it to me."

Shizuru was at the same time depressing and frightened. Her nightmare took place in front of her eyes and she was powerless.

As to Natsuki, she was very offended that Shizuru hid the truth to her. However, this feeling was crushed by the sorrow she felt. She didn't want to let Shizuru leave.

Full of rage and dissatisfaction, she finally enquired, "Why did you not tell me earlier?"

Still dismayed because of her dream, the Kyoto girl couldn't answer.

"You intend to abandon me like that?"

**End of chapter 7**

* * *

The quotes from the (I hope) famous episode 25. Static Subs translation.  
Translating 'suki' into 'love' is a little bit of interpretation.  
Indeed, 'suki' can mean either 'like' or 'love'.


	8. Let me go

**Author's notes**

Here's the chapter 8.

Thank Sayosi for her beta-reading :)

**Legend:**

_Thoughts_  
/Author's notes/

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 8.**

**_八 Let me go_**

"You intend to abandon me like that?" asked a very annoyed Natsuki.

Shizuru tried to explain herself, "Natsuki, you have to grow up. I will not always be by your side".

"Why do you keep saying that? Are you tired of me?"

Whereas Natsuki's voice was full of panic, sadness, and deception, Shizuru's one expressed calm and impassibility as always. "I am not tired of you. I am tired of _loving_ you."

The younger girl was unable to get over what her friend was pronouncing. "What?"

"Natsuki. You do not have the least idea of how difficult it is to love someone who does not love you."

Natsuki tried to recapitulate, "So, the only way I have to stop you is to love you?" Exasperated, she appended, "I already told you that I…"

Shizuru stopped her friend from saying embarrassing things. "I know, but you also said that you cannot have the kind of feelings I wish you had."

Natsuki was upset, she felt constrained, "Do you think it is simple? I do my best to understand _that_ thing".

"I suppose. However, I will not always be able to hold these feelings."

Natsuki was pissed off to be stuck. She wanted to change in order to hold back her friend. She wanted to grow up for her. "So, do you want me to love you?"

"Natsuki…"

"That's what you want?" the younger girl didn't let Shizuru speak.

"No, I…"

"No?" Natsuki's heart was filled with anger the same time as tears filled her eyes. "I don't understand you. You say that you love me, but you can't stay because I can't love you. And then, I ask you if you want me to love you and all that you can answer is 'no'?"

Shizuru started to lose her nerves, "Natsuki, is that you think about me? I can't force you to love me! I don't have the right to".

"…Maybe… you don't need to…"

Natsuki came closer to her friend, looking straight in her eyes. Shizuru was astounded by so much confidence. She could hardly speak, she stuttered, "Na… Natsuki? What, what are you…"

Natsuki took Shizuru's shoulders. Now two centimetres separated them. They could hear their hearts accelerating.

Shizuru was obviously very troubled, she faltered, "Natsuki… No… I… I have to go. I will be late at my… lecture…"

The confident girl said with a steady and soft tone, "I don't care, stay with me".

Their lips were at less one centimetre from each other.

"Na...tsu...ki…"

"Shizuru, I…"

"Kuga Natsuki!" yelled a voice.

_Huh?_

The awaking was very difficult. Natsuki needed one long minute to understand where she was. She was in her classroom. She remembered having rested her chin on her palm… And then… She should have drifted off into sleep.

The others watched her strangely, while the teacher was shouting visibly irritated.

"Kuga Natsuki! Could you repeat what I was saying?"

Still stunned, she looked at the blackboard and quickly read what was written.

The professor didn't stop questioning, "Were you listening to me?"

With a little hesitation, Natsuki tried to formulate her answer, "Err… Yes of course, but… uh… I think… um… you shouldn't use this method to calculate the equation of the plane".

At the beginning of her sentence, she seemed uncertain, but now, she was sure of herself.

She stated proudly, "Hum… Yes… If we calculate the cross product of the vectors AB and AC, we can easily determine the normal vector, and with this vector, we don't need anymore to resolve this stupid system of equations. Yes, we can quickly find the solution with that way".

The old man was shocked. _How could she answer so quickly? She didn't listen to the lecture!_ "Err… well… Ok, but… We haven't seen the cross product yet… Although my way is slower… um… it is easier… and you should participate in class. So…"

He continued his lecture.

Natsuki got him to quiet down, which made her very happy. She could return to her thoughts; he would not disturb her any more.

_Why did he have to interrupt that dream? Oi… What the hell am I thinking? She's my best friend. I don't love her. Not like that. I don't._

Of course, what she had been dreaming was false. The reminiscences of the previous week came back in her mind.

Shizuru had simply stated that she didn't have the choice. She had to leave. Natsuki took this announcement the wrong way. Displeased, she quickly left Shizuru without a word.

She dived into these thoughts again, which she definitely had been doing too often recently.

Natsuki didn't want Shizuru to go away, this dream was the proof. However, the troubled girl wondered why she was kissing Shizuru in her dream.

_Why?_

Maybe it is because Natsuki knew that was the only solution to keep Shizuru by her side… Or maybe, there was another reason. Like during the Festival. Yes, she kissed her friend. While reconsidering that, Natsuki wondered why she did that. Was it in order to stop her friend? No. Was it because she wanted to try? Maybe. She didn't know, she wasn't able to know.

_I just wanted to show my affection._

Affection? Using such a word was easy. It didn't say if it was 'love' or 'like'. Yes, Natsuki didn't want to get involved. She was too afraid.

_'Love'. How strange is that thing._

Natsuki was still afraid of loving someone, because of her mother, because of her father, and even because of Shizuru. What Shizuru had done because she loved her frightened Natsuki. Indeed, who would not be afraid of that?

_Dammit, she killed people just for my sake._

Even if it was 'easy' to forgive Shizuru for her acts, she couldn't understand why. Why did her friend do such a thing? Why did she put her life in danger 'just' to help Natsuki?

She proceeded that love was an amazing thing that gave power to people who were in love.

But this power was destructive. Natsuki had only a few examples, though they were truly significant.

Natsuki remembered how livid Mai became when she believed that Mikoto killed Takumi, how crazy Shiho was when she learned that Tate was in love with Mai, and, of course, Natsuki recalled herself how violently Shizuru behaved.

All of them acted this way because of love.

That was why she had been afraid, that was why she was _still_ afraid.

Nevertheless, she wanted from her heart of hearts to accept the feelings Shizuru had. That was what she had done when she confessed and forgave her. That was what Natsuki thought.

Even if she was still afraid, Natsuki felt that her fear of seeing Shizuru leave was incredibly higher than her fear of love.

Her story repeated itself. Shizuru went away, like her mother and her father did.

_C'mon, Natsuki, it's not her fault! What kind of friend are you? It's a great opportunity for her. You make her suffer. You make her departure more difficult._

Natsuki wished to be forgiven for her behaviour. For this reason, as soon as she had the time she called Shizuru.

"Hello, Shizuru."

"Hi, Natsuki. Why are you calling? Is there a problem?" Shizuru felt guilty for leaving Natsuki.

Like Shizuru, Natsuki also felt guilty. However, it was because of her own childish behaviour. _I'm sorry._ "Eh, err, no… I just wanted to know if… err…", hesitated Natsuki. "Do you want me to go to the airport to see you off?"

"Oh, it would be great, thank you." The Kyoto girl's feelings were divided. Seeing Natsuki and being unable to stay could hurt her, though the culpability prevented her from refusing.

"What time do have you to be at the airport?"

"Ten o'clock. Do you want me to pick you up?"

Neither of the girls wanted to be alone in the same car. The situation would be too uneasy.

However, Shizuru _had_ to ask this question, since she was polite and Natsuki didn't have her bike anymore. Besides, this sentence made Shizuru think. _Why does Natsuki want to go with me to the airport without any means of conveyance?_

"No, thank you", Natsuki merely replied.

"Okay. I am sorry, Natsuki, but I have to finish some packing now. I will see you on Thursday at ten o'clock!"

"Bye."

* * *

Forty-eight hours later, _the_ day came. Natsuki was waiting for the bus, but she rapidly got fed up and hailed a taxi. After all, what was the purpose of all the money her _dear_ father gave to her?

At length, she arrived at the airport. Shizuru was already there. Indeed, it was ten o'clock.

After all the check-in matters and the rest of the procedures, the two friends were sitting in the lounge in front of the boarding gate. They had a casual conversation, unable to talk about Shizuru's departure.

This conversation lasted for an hour and a half.

And now, only twenty minutes remained before embarking. The two girls stood up and moved to the gate.

"When will you come back to Japan?" inquired Natsuki almost indifferently.

"I do not know yet." Actually, although the date was not yet precisely defined, Shizuru knew when she was going to return.

Natsuki smirked and tried to joke, "Will you be here for my birthday? Don't forget I want a present".

Hearing the dread in her friend's voice, Shizuru couldn't tell her the truth. Indeed, there was no other solution. Shizuru wouldn't be able to come back to Japan for Natsuki's birthday. "Maybe, I am not sure. Anyway, I can send your present via the mail, right?"

"Ah, yes of course."

Shizuru could see tears forming in Natsuki's eyes. _What do you think? She's sad because you're her friend. She will miss you as a friend, nothing else._

From this moment, everything occurred quickly. It was time to board. The two girls hadn't seen time elapsing.

Before leaving by the doors, Shizuru uttered to her friend, "And don't forget, Natsuki, whatever will happen, I will always love you".

As a simple answer, Natsuki waved her hand and she turned her back.

_So, Natsuki, I am sure of this now… you will _never_ love me like I love you… _

**End of chapter 8**

* * *

About how to calculate the equation of a plane… I'm not sure... I studied that a long time ago and I hated that. However, I don't think it's totally false. We'll considerate it is true, ok? ;)

So... How did you find this chapter?


	9. Breakdown Part 1

**Author's notes**

Thank you all for your great reviews:)  
Don't worry about the next... You'll see ;)

Of course, I thank my beta-reader Sayosi too for her help :)

So... Here's the update!

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 9.****  
**

**九 Breakdown, part 1.  
**

_That's it. I have to be strong. I can't believe I won't see her until…_

"When will you come back to Japan?" inquired Natsuki almost indifferently.

"I do not know yet", simply replied Shizuru.

_You don't know! What will I do during this time? Have you even thought about me? … Okay… Calm down… It's not her fault. Not her fault._

Even if she was hurt, Natsuki tried to joke, "Will you be here for my birthday? Don't forget, I want a present". _Why did I say that? I don't care about the present. I want you by my side… Tell her! Tell her you'll miss her._

"Maybe, I am not sure. Anyway, I can send your present via the mail, right?"

"Ah, yes of course." _She'll abandon me. All those I love abandon me. Why? No, don't cry. Be strong. You have to overcome this. Her absence will not last too long, right?_

From this moment, everything occurred quickly. It was time to board. The two girls hadn't seen time elapsing.

Natsuki was seeing her friend leaving by the doors, the latter uttered, "And don't forget, Natsuki, whatever will happen, I will always love you".

_I don't understand, you say you love me, but you leave. What do you want from me? _The blue-haired girl waved her hand and headed to the exit.

_Tell her! Tell her what you are feeling! _

_I have my pride! _

_Tell her! _

_No, I can't, I don't have the right. _

_Will you support her leaving? _

_No… _

_So tell her!_

She suddenly turned back. "Shizuru, I…" But it was too late. The doors were closed.

* * *

Four days passed since the departure of Shizuru.

Natsuki had been locked up in her room during all this time. She didn't want to go out, she didn't want to move, she didn't want to live anymore.

Moreover, she wanted to be alone. She didn't give any news to Mai. That was why the latter called the lonely girl several times on her cell phone. Natsuki was so upset that she violently threw her phone against the door.

She was lying there, on her bed in the darkness. She didn't understand why she was feeling so bad, so sad, so empty. Her green eyes were starring at the ceiling. She couldn't bring her regrets to an end.

Everything had happened too quickly. She didn't have the time to realise. She would have done something, told something special, but Shizuru left too fast. Her absence made Natsuki understand how much she cared for the Kyoto girl. Nonetheless, it was too late. Shizuru was far away.

The seventeen-year-old girl was obviously in low spirits. However, she held a grudge against her friend. Indeed, she didn't get any news from Shizuru.

_Why did she not call me? I don't matter to her anymore!_

Suddenly, the blue-haired girl started to panic. She thought that maybe a problem occurred. That was the reason why Shizuru was unable to contact her.

Natsuki commenced to envisage the worst scenarios. She was imagining a hostage takeover and Shizuru trying to negotiate with the kidnappers. Unfortunately, they didn't listen to her. And then…

Natsuki shook her head. She didn't have to think about that.

At that time, someone rang at her apartment. Natsuki dashed to the door, managing to stumble on a shoe that was lying there.

_Dammit!_

She took the shoe and threw it to the other side of the room. She finally managed to reach the door. Before opening it, she couldn't refrain herself from raising a big idiotic smile. However, as soon as the door was opened, her smile was replaced by a scowl. The unexpected visitor was delighted to be welcomed by such a manifestation of joy.

"I'm fine, thank you. It's very nice of you to ask", exclaimed Mai ironically. She inspected her friend's place. "Mou… Natsuki, when will you stop living like that? It's a real mess in here!"

Natsuki didn't even deign to answer; she got back in her bed.

As soon as she was in Natsuki's room, Mai opened the blinds, which induced a snarl from the occupant.

"What are you doing! Go home and leave me alone!" Saying these words, she hid under the sheets.

"Come on, Natsuki! Do you plan to stay here until she comes back?"

At first, Natsuki didn't react, and afterwards she suddenly thought, _I _never_ told her about that!_

"How…how did you know that?" Natsuki raised her head out her bed.

"Given that you didn't want to talk to me, I had to conduct my own investigation."

"You asked Kanzaki, huh?"

"Err… Yes."

Natsuki sighed. "Ok, thank you for coming, don't forget to lock the door when you will leave", she said with an exasperated tone while burying herself under the blankets.

The red-haired girl was looking at her friend. She wished to help her but she didn't know how. Natsuki once again became the wild beast she used to be, and only one person had succeeded in taming the animal, only one person was able to do that. Nonetheless, she had to try. It was not good for Natsuki to stay alone.

She ordered firmly, "Ok. So, Natsuki, hurry up or we will be late for school".

As an answer, the blue-haired girl turned to the other side.

"I won't repeat it. Go get dressed and be quick." Mai started to lose her temper.

All the while Natsuki had already lost her temper. "Are you deaf? I told you to leave me alone!"

"Ok, as you want." Mai pulled her friend out of the bed by the sleeve. "If you don't want to get dressed, you'll go to school in pyjamas…"

Natsuki fell on the ground but immediately stood up. She flew into a passion. "You damned moron! What the hell are you trying to do! Do you wanna die?"

Clenching her fists, the furious girl retained herself from being violent. Mai was indeed her friend, but she wanted to be alone. She didn't want to see anybody. She didn't need anybody, except…

More calmly, Natsuki attempted to convince her friend, "Why do you not simply leave me alone? Is it too complicated? Can't you understand?"

"Actually, I don't. Why are you acting this way? It isn't like you will _never_ see her again."

At the hearing of these words, Natsuki's heart was pinched. She abruptly felt dizzy and had to sit down on the edge of her bed. She looked so distraught.

"Natsuki?" inquired the worried girl sitting next to her.

"I don't know when she will come back." The young in disarray acridly sneered, "I'm too stupid, I should have stopped her. I should have told her".

"Told what?"

"…Nothing…" _Anyways, it's too late…_

"Come on, Natsuki, her absence will not last that long. I'm sure that she'll come back soon." _I hope. Fujino-san, why did you not inform her about your return?_

"Aa…" Natsuki would like to believe her friend, yet at the back of her mind she knew it to be false.

"Plus, do you believe that staying here is the solution? What would Fujino-san say if she saw you like that?"

_"Ara ara, are you still seeking to ditch classes? Perhaps you hope to stay in high school all your life? Mou… You do not want to go to the university with me."_ Imagining what her Kyoto friend could say, Natsuki faintly smiled to herself.

Seeing Natsuki less sullen, Mai asked, "So…Will you finally get dressed? …Or maybe you prefer that I change your clothes myself?"

The other girl grumbled, "No way!" She took her clothes and moved to the bathroom. Then, she suddenly turned to Mai, pointing the floor. "And stay here!"

After exiting her bedroom, she slammed the door shut.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Paris, France, Shizuru was going to meet her supervisor. Indeed, being able to speak both Japanese and English and having good knowledge in French allowed her to do a training course in a travel agency… According to her university.

/From here, which is in English in the text is in English in reality… Except when it is written in another language./

A man in his forties went to her, stretching out his hand, "Konnich_ew_wa. I am Pierre Dupont. I will be your boss during this _stage_."

Paying attention to his strong and awful French accent, Shizuru couldn't keep herself from thinking, _What the...? Who is this character?_

She raised a smile, "Nice to meet you.", and appended without the slight trace of accent, "Vous savez, vous pouvez me parler en français". /You know, you can talk to me in French/

The French guy seemed delighted. "Oh, _parfait_! But I know it will be _more easy_ if I speak English."

_If I still hear him speaking English, I feel that I will become insane._ Without leaving her smile, she said, "Oh, thank you, you are too nice".

* * *

Working here was a wise choice for Shizuru. Since Paris is a very tourist city, she could speak English most of the time. Moreover, during her days off, she could improve in French. Of course, she was there for this purpose.

However, her French wasn't perfect yet, she lacked little vocabulary. She realised it that Saturday morning… She was in town centre looking for something…

She addressed a passer-by first in English, "Good morning, Madam. Please excuse me, but do you know where I can buy a teapot?"

Oh, sacrilege! Yes, Shizuru had forgotten her teapot. That was why she was unable to prepare her precious drink during all the week.

The passer-by was looking at Shizuru eyes wide open, as if Shizuru was an alien from another planet. Visibly, this passer-by, who was an old woman, didn't speak English. She strove for some English words, "Err… I… sorry. No speak English."

Shizuru apologized immediately and carried on in French, "Oh, veuillez m'excuser. Pouvez-vous m'indiquer s'il vous plait où je pourrais acheter un…" /Oh, please excuse-me. Could you tell me please where I can buy a…/

All of a sudden, Shizuru stopped talking. She was looking for a word, but didn't find it, and unfortunately, she forgot her dictionary.

_What's happened to you, Fujino? You are really forgetful lately…_

For this reason, she tried to make the woman guess by gestures, but who could make someone guess the word 'teapot' that way?

"… quelque chose pour le thé." /Something for tea/

"Des sachets de thé?"

_Teabags?_ "Hum… non… quelque chose pour _préparer_ le thé." /Hum… No… Something to prepare tea/

"Une bouilloire ?"

_What? Teabags, a kettle? My God, how do they prepare tea in this country?_ "Non…"

If she could do it, she would have stomped the ground in impatience. Nonetheless, she didn't react in such a way, it would be impolite.

"Non, ce n'est pas exactement cela." /No… it's not exactly the same./

"Ah…"

She would like to ask another passer-by but there was nobody else, plus, it would be…impolite. _Me and my good manners!_

At last, the older woman had a flash. "Hum… Ah! Une théière?" she exclaimed, wielding her finger.

_A _tayer_? What's that?_ "Excusez-moi?" /Excuse-me/

The old woman led Shizuru by the arm to a small shop, which was a few meters from where they were. Shizuru didn't notice it, since it didn't look like a shop.

The passer-by pulled Shizuru in the building to a department where there were a lot of… teapots. Japanese ones, of course.

Shizuru bowed and gratefully thanked the old woman. The latter smiled and headed to the exit.

Yes, except some misadventures, everything was going well… Actually, it seemed to be going well…

Shizuru couldn't lie to herself, these repetitive omissions were the proof. She was not doing fine…

**End of chapter 9**

* * *

'stage' means in French training period.

This chapter is a little bit more different than the others... How did you find it?

Feel free to comment ;)


	10. Breakdown Part 2

**Author's notes**

Thank you all for the reviews and I want to especially thank Naolin who took the time to review each chapter :)

**I don't forget to thank my beta-reader, Sayosi ;)**

I do my best to update as often as possible so I can't write faster :P

Here's the update!

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 10.****  
**

**一〇 Breakdown, part 2.**

Four o'clock. A long-haired girl was lying on her bed. She was unable to sleep. She was unwilling to close her eyes and see the same person hurting her. She didn't want to be told the truth again.

For the first time in her life, Shizuru was egoistic. She didn't give any news to Natsuki for her own sake, because it would make her suffer.

She remembered her own words, _"In the future, we will not always be together"_. She said this sentence casually, but now she realised that it was utterly true. They wouldn't be able to stay together forever. It was already afflicting to leave high school. Therefore Shizuru had to accustom being separated from Natsuki.

So, thinking about the reaction Natsuki had when she confessed she would always love her whatever would happen, made her sick. That was why she became an insomniac.

* * *

At the same time, almost ten thousand kilometres away...

One week ago, Mai had convinced, or rather forced, Natsuki to return to class. Though, afterwards she believed that maybe it wasn't a good idea… Indeed, Natsuki was like a hurricane that no one could stop.

Some pupils, who were on the way of the hurricane, were reprimanded, "Get out my way!"

Natsuki was definitively back at school; everybody took in her slaughtering mood.

Witnessing of the scene, Kikuchi took Natsuki's shoulders to stop her and scolded her, "Are you stupid? What has happened to you lately?"

Natsuki looked at his hands that were laying on her and threw him her most dreadful glare. "What do you think you are doing? Move away!"

Suiting the action to the words, she knocked him down and left. Kikuchi was sitting on the grass, taking his jaw in his hand. Mai ran to him to get news of what happened. "Kikuchi-san, are you okay?"

"Was I knocked over by a truck?"

Mai smirked, "Ah ah… Sorry. She's in a bad mood".

Amazed, Kikuchi repeated, "Bad mood? That is a euphemism. What is her problem?"

"It's a long story…"

Mai had tried several times to draw closer to Natsuki. Nonetheless, she knew her lonely friend well, and when Natsuki wanted to be alone, she _had to_ be alone for fear of being punched like Kikuchi was just right now.

However some people, especially one boy, didn't understand that…

* * *

Nearly eight hours later in Paris. It was lunchtime. Shizuru was eating with other colleagues, young trainees like her, in the cafeteria.

"So…" said one of the young people, surprised, "Every morning you prepare _that_!"

Shizuru smiled, "We call _that_ a bento".

"Oh, ok. But, how do you have the time at the morning?"

Always so calm, the Japanese girl answered, "With a good organisation, you have _always_ the time". _Especially when you don't sleep. _

"Aah? And have you ever tried occidental food?"

"Yes, but I am not fond of it."

"Really? Have you tried, for example, hum… ah… fried chicken?"

"Yes, I did, although, I don't like it as well."

"Oh…" The boy was as amazed as if Shizuru had said that the Earth was flat. "Ah! What do you think about, err…" He asked the girl next him, "How do you say 'frites' in English?"

The girl took a pensive look and replied, "I think it's 'french fries'".

The boy laughed, "He he, 'french'".

Seeing her friend boasting, the girl elbowed him. Then, she enquired Shizuru, "So, Shizuru, have you ever tasted french fries?"

The two young people hadn't noticed that Shizuru was voiceless for almost five minutes. The young man was worried, "Err… Are you okay Shizuru? You know, it isn't a problem if you don't like occidental food. Plus, I think that your food is healthier".

Shizuru left abruptly, "I'm sorry…"

The two Frenchies stayed there looking at each other in astonishment.

_"You'll get sick if you don't stop eating like this. You know that it isn't good to eat raw fish every day? Eh, taste this!" _

_"No, thank you. There is so much grease in it that the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel could be repainted." _

_"Huh? Oh, c'mon Shizuru." _

_"I am sorry Natsuki, I will not eat this." _

_"It's only french fries! It's good! Say 'aaah'." _

_"If Natsuki wants to feed me, she will have to find another way…" _

_"What?... Eh, SHIZURU!" _

Even the sight of french fries made Shizuru think about her. She was so disheartened… _I am so pathetic… _

* * *

Two days later, in Fuuka High-School…

In the classroom, just after the end of the lecture when the students started to leave the room, Natsuki didn't move. She was still at her desk with her elbow lying on the table and her chin resting in her palm. She was looking through the window while frowning.

Kikuchi squatted next to her, worried about his 'friend'. "Hey, Natsuki, what is your problem? You look so angry." Saying these words, he gently shook her arm.

Natsuki turned her head violently, and looked at him with so much hatred. Then, she kicked him and made him fall.

The impact was so violent that Kikuchi was propelled on a few meters moving several chairs in his way.

After that, the vixen stood up, "I told you that…" She didn't have the time to finish her sentence; a teacher was entering into the room.

Sensing the flurry, he asked, "What happened here?" He inspected the classroom and appended angrily, "What is this mess? Kikuchi-kun, what are you doing on the floor?"

"Oh, I am sorry, it is no…" Kikuchi tried to explain. However, he was cut off by the others pupils, who were afraid of Natsuki. They claimed, "Teacher! He was punched by Kuga-san."

The person concerned ground her teeth and clenched her fists, _Bunch of tattletales! You'll pay for that_.

The professor looked at Natsuki and ordered, "Kuga Natsuki, I won't tolerate such behaviour! Please immediately go to the Student Council". He pointed his finger to the door, waiting for Natsuki to go out. The latter sighed in exasperation and left the room.

The high-tempered girl could have left the school, but what was the use? She would have more problems than she already had. Moreover, going to the Student Council wasn't a big deal and it was worth it for Kikuchi's KO.

_That boy! Why doesn't he just leave me alone? _

She finally reached the Student Council room in where the President, his Vice-President, and the Executive Board Leader, Yukino, were sitting.

As soon as the rebellious girl was seated on a chair, the president scolded her, "So… I just got a call from Uchiyamada-sensei. Your attitude is outrageous. Where do you think you are?  
I know that the past year you got a lot of advantages because of your friend's status, but this time is over. Now, I'm the new president, and I will not let you do what you want!"

Natsuki, who was looking down, slowly raised her head, ready to throw her death-glare. _Who do you think you are? You can't hold a candle to Shizuru… _

Yukino chose that moment to speak discreetly to the president, "Err… Sorry, President… Hum… May I speak to Kuga-san, please? …I think that it's only a temporary problem. Err… I would like to try to reason with her".

The president was curious to see how such a shy girl like Yukino would be able to calm such an impetuous person like Natsuki. For this reason, he merely shrugged in agreement.

Yukino bowed and thanked him. She asked Natsuki if she would like to go outside, in the corridors, to talk. Natsuki didn't decline the proposition, as she couldn't bear anymore the new president.

The introvert girl said composedly, "Kuga-san, I won't reprimand you for your act…"

"Ok, thank you. See you later." Turning back, Natsuki was on the point of leaving.

"However…" said Yukino louder, "I would like to know why you are so angry".

This sentence stopped Natsuki. She turned to Yukino, exacerbated. "Why does everybody worry about me? I'm fine, ok! So leave me alone!"

She turned back again and Yukino interrupted her for a second time by saying, "So… It doesn't have any connection with _her_ departure, right?"

Calmed down, Natsuki didn't move anymore. Without facing the other girl, she questioned, "How do you know that?"

"Well, Haruka is my friend…" She timidly laughed, "And she is very talkative". At last, she enquired, "Please tell me, Kuga-san, why do you have a grudge against Fujino-san?"

The blue-haired girl was silent ten seconds and then, she uttered a sob, "You can't understand…" and she quickly ran away.

She ran herself out of breath. While she was running, the words said by her friend reiterated themselves in her head.

_"Why do you have a grudge against her?" _

_Because she abandoned me! _

_But she didn't have a choice. _

_I don't care. She should have stayed with me! _

_Why? _

_Because… because… _

Without knowing it, she found herself in the garden on the back of the Kazahana's Residence, the Flower Garden.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Paris, Shizuru was starting her day. She was putting some documents in order.

Her supervisor came, puzzled. "Wow, Shizuru-san! You are already working!"

Shizuru didn't understand. _It is eight o'clock; work starts at eight o'clock, so… Where is the problem?_ "Did I make a mistake?"

"Oh, no, no! I'm not accustomed to it, that's all." He smirked. "Normally, when work begins at eight, the employees come at half past eight. They drink some coffee, chat, and then they begin to work at… hum…" He looked up, thinking. "At ten o'clock… Then, break time!"

He laughed.

"So… Shizuru-san, do you want to drink some coffee with us? Oh, or some tea. I know that you prefer tea. Oh, and maybe you can show us the preparation?"

Shizuru faintly grinned. Her employer's accent was terribly dreadful, but he was kind. Maybe too much enthusiastic, but he made Shizuru laugh. She really needed it.

"I am sorry, sir, but I would like to finish my task, if you allow me to do that."

"Oh… It's weird… I think you work too much, Shizuru-san. The last week you didn't even take a break. Maybe work pace is more sustained in Japan, but I think that it's too much work for a young lady like you." More seriously, he added, "I'm really worried about you".

The Japanese girl merely smiled. "I am fine, thank you for caring, mister Dupont."

"Call me Pierre, it's fine." And he left.

Shizuru resumed her task while thinking about her manager's words. He was right. Since she got here, she didn't stop working. But why?

Shizuru had always been a hard worker, but at this stage it was madness. She worked so rigidly that she didn't even have the time to think.

Here we are…

The reason why Shizuru worked herself to death was to prevent herself from thinking. She knew that if she started to fall into her thoughts, she would be more heartbroken that she currently was.

That was why Shizuru was afraid to sleep, afraid to have nothing to do, afraid to think about it. For this same reason she didn't call her friend or even send a mail.

Her feelings were messed up. She didn't want to see Natsuki, although she _needed_ to be with her. She dreaded to hear her voice, but she wanted to speak to her.

That she desired the most right now was to tear out that _thing_ which was in her chest. That _thing_ which harmed her so much. That _thing_ which was racing each time she heard the name of Natsuki.

Why did she have to love someone who would never return her feelings?

Not only could love be a marvellous thing, but also the evillest pain in the world.

* * *

Natsuki stood in the flower garden. She delicately touched a flower.

The memories of this day played in her mind, the day that had eternally changed her life.

It was three years ago. She was about to crush a flower in her hand…

_"Flowers, huh." _

_"You shouldn't do that." _

_Natsuki turned abruptly to the voice. She saw a chestnut-haired girl with crimson eyes. _

_"Beautiful flowers are to be loved", the other girl smiled, "Since it's doing its best to bloom during its short life". _

_The slightly blushing junior high school girl was upset for having been seen crushing a flower. She thought she was alone_,_ but that wasn't the case. She sharply asked, "Who are you?" _

_Without leaving her smile, the high school student replied, "My name is Fujino Shizuru. And you?" _

_Natsuki became suspicious. "Kuga… Natsuki." _

_Shizuru's smile grew wider. "Natsuki... that's a nice name." _

Why does the famous Fujino Shizuru want to speak with me?_ "What do you want?" _

_Even if Natsuki was speaking with a very rude tone, Shizuru stayed calm and unaffected. "I can't talk to you without having a reason?" _

_"Yeah…" _

Since that day, Shizuru didn't stop hanging around her. She had protected her younger friend from going down a slippery slope. She prevented Natsuki from turning out like Nao did.

Yes, Natsuki became what she was now thanks to Shizuru… So, if one asked Natsuki if she was angry with Shizuru, she would probably answer 'no'.

No… Natsuki wasn't angry with Shizuru. She was angry with herself because she wasn't able to stop her friend. She knew she could have, but she didn't do anything.

Because of the sudden realisation, Natsuki couldn't prevent herself to burst into tears. Her legs abruptly became weak. She kneeled down, burying her head in her hands.

The girl was so depressed that she didn't notice the person standing behind her.

**End of chapter 10**

* * *

It's free to review this chapter ;)


	11. It's easier to confide in strangers

**Author's notes**

Thank you for your reviews. They give me the motivation to continue. :)

**And I thank my beta-reader Sayosi too :)  
**

Here's the update!

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 11.****  
****  
十一 Sometimes it's easier to confide in strangers.**

"Excuse me, Shizuru-san, but I think you forgot to send this letter", said Pierre while entering the room. He held an envelope in his hand.

"I am really sorry, Pierre."

"_Ohlala_, I have never seen somebody so thoughtless." He tittered.

Shizuru was suddenly morose. "Usually I am not like that…"

Pierre apologized, "Err… It's okay, Shizuru. That's not a problem". Trying to comfort the young girl, he appended, "Maybe are you a little tired?"

Shizuru stayed sad. "…Maybe…"

"Oh, maybe it's because of the time difference. Eight hours is a lot!"

"No… I am fine with that…"

"Hum, perhaps you are a little homesick?" Getting no answer, the man carried on questioning, "Do you miss your family? Your friends?" He paused. "Or maybe your lover?"

Hearing this word, Shizuru was startled and stunned. Her manager had strung the right chord.

Pierre sighed, "Ok… I see".

"I don't know what to do… I would like to forget her, stop thinking about her, but I can't…" Shizuru surprised herself by spilling all that she had in her heart to a stranger. "I… Sorry. I didn't mean to bother you with my problems."

The man was sympathizing, "It doesn't bother me. If you can talk about it so easily, that means that you need to speak about it".

The girl acridly smiled, struggling not to appear too doubtful.

"So, Shizuru-san, would you like to tell me your story?" requested the manager while taking a seat next to Shizuru.

"That's the problem!" she uttered loudly. Then, softer and softer, she added, "There is nothing… There had been nothing and there will never be something as well…"

"Unrequited feelings, huh?"

While looking at the ground, the Kyoto girl sadly nodded.

"But…are you sure that it is not mutual?"

"I am under the impression that it isn't…"

"But you are not sure, right? Did you ask her?"

"She said that she couldn't have the feelings I desired…"

"Oh…" Pierre wished to alleviate the young girl, but there was nothing he could do.

Nevertheless, Shizuru opened up more, "At the beginning, I believed that I had a chance, yet now, I'm sure of the contrary. I don't know what to do".

"In my opinion, if your friend told you that, it was because she thought it." He hesitated, "So… Maybe… You should give up…"

Shizuru's emotions were shredded. Her mind told her to resign herself whereas her heart was still hoping. The fact that a third person told her to give up helped her to decide. "I know, yet I don't think I'm able to do that."

Pierre was listening to her attentively. "I understand. You'll need a lot of time, but there aren't a lot of solutions."

Shizuru smirked, "It's weird. For her, I'm able to do a lot of things. I could take down the moon for her. I could die for her.  
However, thinking about her hurts me. It renders me insane. I need her, but staying longer by her side without being loved in return will kill me sooner or later.  
She is both my greatest weakness and my greatest strength…"

Pierre tried not to talk too harshly. However, he had to persuade the depressed girl. "Shizuru, this situation makes you suffer too much. Although I don't know your story, I advise you to forget her."

* * *

The one who was standing behind Natsuki exclaimed, "Wow, you run fast! Have you ever thought of joining the racing team?"

Natsuki recognized the voice. _Kikuchi! That boy, again! _She was so tired from crying that she went away without saying a word.

"Hey! Wait! Why do you always try to avoid me?"

Natsuki turned to him, giving a frightening look. "Leave me alone!"

Kikuchi noticed her swollen eyes. He asked, concerned, "Oh… Why were you crying?"

The enraged girl was fed up with the guy, but she wanted to make him understand once and for all.

"Which word do you not understand in 'Leave me alone'?" Natsuki accentuated each word to make sure that the _clinging vine_ had understood. "You spend so much time with me that the others think we are together!"

Kikuchi replied naïvely, "I thought that you were joking".

Natsuki was thunderstruck, "Ok. So, I'll repeat it for the LAST time. Please, leave me alone. I don't like you. I don't want to see you again! Get it?"

"Why are you so angry? Your friend is not dead. You will see her soon."

"I know I'll see her again! But… Hey! How are you aware of that?"

"I… hum… I heard your conversation with Kikukawa-san… Sorry, I should not have listened."

She was blasé and started to leave.

Kikuchi didn't bring his flow to an end, "I know how difficult it is to lose someone, but you will have to overcome it. Plus, as I have already said, you will see her again soon".

She stopped. "You don't know me! You ignore what happened in my life!" Quieter, she looked down. "I have already lost someone…"

"And what did you learn about it?"

Natsuki was losing track, "What?"

"Enjoy your life, Natsuki. Don't be afraid of what will happen tomorrow. Life is short!"

"What!"

Kikuchi wearily sighed. _She didn't understand anything! Honestly… _"If you miss your friend, go to her!"

"Are you stupid? Why would I go to over there... like that?"

"…You obviously cannot bear her leaving. So, why are you stuck here? Move on!"

Natsuki trailed off, "B-but… I can't…"

"I can lend you some money, if…"

"No! That's not the problem…

The boy looked at her curiously.

I can't go to her because… I don't know where she is…"

**End of chapter 11  
**

* * *

I'm sorry... It was Kikuchi... :p

So what do you think about this (short) chapter?


	12. You’ve got a new mail

**Author's notes**

Thank you everybody for your reviews. I feel great now! ... Hum... sorry XD

**And thanks to my beta-reader Sayosi :)  
**

Here's the chapter 12!

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 12.****  
**

**十二 You've got a new mail**

Kikuchi repeated, astonished, "You don't know where she is? You are not very concerned about your friend…"

"Enough! I know she is in France, in Paris… but I don't have her address." She continued worriedly, "Since she left, I didn't get any news from her…"

"Oh…" Kikuchi's eyes grew wider. "Do you know somebody who would have her address?"

"No…" _But it isn't a bad idea._ She left abruptly.

"Hey!" He attempted to stop the girl, though it was too late.

Natsuki was relieved for having found some hope. She just had to find the right person.

* * *

The next Monday, eleven weeks after the beginning of the term and seventeen days after Shizuru left, at twelve o'clock.

Seeing Natsuki pacing in the lobbies, Mai hailed her, "Hey, Natsuki!"

The aforesaid turned her head. "Ah, Mai."

Mai was friendly as usual. "How are you?"

Natsuki frowned, "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"I'm surprised because one week ago you were like a wild beast."

This remark annoyed the seventeen-year-old girl. "Stop it! I was just upset…"

"About what?" questioned Mai.

_I don't want her to believe that I acted that way because I missed Shizuru_ "I-I don't remember!"

Understanding that Natsuki would never admit the truth, the red haired girl simply smiled. "Well, I'm happy to see you more, hum…as usual."

Natsuki was suspicious. "What do you mean?"

Mai gave a knowing smile. "Hum, nothing." She paused. "Well… What are you doing now?"

"I was on my way home, why?"

"Do you want to dine at my place? I'll cook some ramen."

Natsuki was facing a Cornelian choice: eating instant cup ramen or Mai's ramen. What a though decision! "Err… Sure."

"Great! But I have to pick up Mikoto at Reito's. Is that okay?"

_As long as I have something better than cup ramen…_ She pretended to grumble, "…Yeah, ok…" Then, the inwardly happy girl laughed, "You look like divorced parents who share custody".

Mai grimaced at Natsuki and shook her head. "What nonsense!"

At length, the two girls reached the Kanzaki Residence. As soon as Mai entered the room, Mikoto jumped her.

"Mai!" exclaimed the lively girl. "Come! I want to show you a new game my brother taught me!" Shouting these words, she led Mai to her room by the arm.

Natsuki didn't follow the girls, as this new game certainly wouldn't interest her. Reito profited from that moment to talk with the girl whom he, after all, didn't know very well. "So, Kuga-san, how are you?"

Natsuki was as guarded as ever. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

Reito answered casually, "I have wondered how you coped with Shizuru-san's departure".

The blue haired-girl was losing her temper, "I'm fine!" _Why does everybody ask me that? Do I seem dependent on her?_

The young man was slightly surprised, "Oh. I was imagining that you would be afflicted. As for Shizuru-san, I guess that she doesn't bear the separation".

"What! What do you mean? Do you have news from her?" spilled Natsuki. _I'm stupid! Why was I so eager to ask that?_

"No, sorry."

The girl was disappointed and curious. "So, how can you affirm that?"

"It is simple. It is always difficult to be far from the one you love."

"What! H-how… She told you that?"

"There was no need to say it. It was obvious."

"Aa." _Why am I the only one who didn't realise that…?_

Noticing the disquiet on Natsuki, Reito appended, "But I guessed it since I used to spend a lot of time with her and I know her very well".

"Ok so, if it's true, why doesn't she call me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I haven't received any news since she left."

"Oh… Perhaps she is not able to do that. Maybe she does not have the time."

Natsuki pouted distrustfully. "… Yeah…"

"You do not have to worry, Kuga-san. She inevitably has a valid reason."

"Yeah but…"

Mai and Mikoto, who were coming back in the living room, interrupted her, "Let's go?"

* * *

At Mai's dorm, Mai, Natsuki and Mikoto were having dinner. The 'hostess' was pleased to see a 'normal' Natsuki, although it was odd…

"Are you okay, Natsuki?"

_What's happened? Either everyone agreed in advance or do I appear really different?_ "Yes! Why do you keep asking me that?"

"I was concerned about you. You are my friend, and the last few weeks you seemed to be totally lost…"

Natsuki didn't want her pity. However, she knew that Mai meant well. She muttered, "…Sorry…"

The red-haired girl smiled. "Never mind! Nonetheless, I find amazing how fast you were able to get back on your feet alone without withdrawing into yourself. Wonderful! You're growing up!" Mai was friendly making fun of Natsuki.

Nevertheless, the grumpy girl didn't like to be laughed at, friendly or not. "Stop it! I just had a talk with…"

She stopped. She realised that the one she continuously rejected and hated had helped her.

_Why?_

And above all, why did she unburden her heart to him? Maybe for the reason that it was easier, because he was there when she was the most vulnerable, or maybe it was because Natsuki didn't want Mai to think she was weak. Indeed, why act in such a way when it only concerned your 'best friend'?

The proud teenager was lost in her reflections. She didn't pay attention to the other girl whom was still waiting for an answer.

"Natsuki?"

"Huh?"

"So, who did you talk to?"

She frowned. "Nobody! It's not important!"

Nearly eight hours later and almost ten thousand kilometres away, Shizuru was watching TV. It might seem surprising but, eh, she had nothing else to do.

Moreover, she didn't want to miss her current favourite French TV Game, every weekday at 18:05.

_- What is another name of the vegetarian and nocturnal mammal, the chiroptera?_

_- Err… The beetle?_

"Are you idiot? It isn't even a mammal. The answer is the bat!"

_- Oh, sorry. It was the bat! The chiroptera or the bat represents about 20 of all mammal species…_

Shizuru switched off the TV; she was starting to get hungry. She headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge in order to find something to cook. Her eyes lay on a bottle of mayonnaise she bought recently.

Why did she purchase such a product?

The Kyoto girl wanted to give a shot at this mixture that her beloved friend was fond of, and she had to admit it; mayonnaise was not that disgusting. Of course, she didn't eat it as much as the mayonnaise addicted girl did but a little mayonnaise could give a different taste.

However, no one should inform Natsuki about this habit for fear of being slaughtered by Shizuru.

_Natsuki…_

She remembered her supervisor's words.

"_I advise you to forget her."_

_I try but… It's too hard… What should I do? Maybe I can send her an email… _She voiced out her thoughts, "Yes, it won't be that bad…"

She began to write her mail, and then she looked at the clock.

_Half past six. It's too late, she may be sleeping now. Plus, how absent-minded she is, she may have forgotten to turn off her cell phone._ She grinned.

* * *

However, Shizuru was wrong… On the other side of the planet, at the same time…

Natsuki couldn't sleep. She was tossing in her bed recalling her talk with Reito.

"_There was no need to say it. It was obvious." _

_She has loved me for a long time or even from the beginning, and I didn't figure it out! She was waiting all this time? I didn't realise that… Is that why she doesn't call me? I really am stupid! I should tell her that… that I… I-I…_

She groused and buried her head under her pillow.

* * *

Two days later, in France, at ten o'clock.

Shizuru took the time to put her thoughts in order. That was why during her break, she made up her mind to mail Natsuki.

On the electronic highway, everything went fast. The addressee had received the message at once.

At her home, Natsuki was staring at the TV not really aware of what was on. _I'm bored. There's nothing to do._

Suddenly, she heard the beep of her cell phone. _What? A mail?_ She grumbled. _Where is my cell phone?_

She turned her house inside out. _Where is that damn phone?_

She finally found it under a pile of clothes. Identifying the sender's name, the untidy girl sighed in relief.

_Subject: Hello  
From: "Fujino Shizuru" / fujino. shizuru. at. fujinocorp. co. jp_  
_Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2006 10:14:56 +0200  
To: "Kuga Natsuki" / plushies. at. rebel-bikers. com_

_Hello Natsuki!  
Or "bonjour" as we said here._

_Everything is going fine. Working here is interesting. Paris is a very tourist city. I even met Japanese people! My colleagues are nice. They speak English with me._

_However, I practise my French during the weekend. I do not have a choice. There are not a lot of people here able to speak English correctly. It was not a myth; French people are very bad at learning foreign languages._

_Otherwise, the weather is sunny here and for the moment I have a lot of time to enjoy it._

_I hope everything is doing well for you as well._

_Take care,  
Shizuru_

Natsuki was both happy and upset. She was glad to learn that Shizuru was doing fine. However she was annoyed because her friend didn't apologize. _She didn't give any news in three weeks and all that matters for her is speaking about work and French or the weather! Above all, she doesn't tell me when she will come back! Other things don't interest me!_

While losing her temper, she frenetically typed her reply.

_Dear Shizuru,  
I'm glad that everything is going well for you. Nevertheless, don't you think you forgot something? Like telling me when you'll come back or "sorry for not contacting you sooner"!_

Finally, the blue haired girl switched off her phone; it wasn't a good idea to answer in this state. She flung it on the couch and headed to her bedroom.

* * *

The next day, Natsuki was calmed down. She felt guilty for having lost her nerve so easily. Moreover, given that she didn't tell Shizuru about her feelings, she started to understand her friend's behaviour. Therefore she decided to be as neutral as possible in her reply.

Shizuru was at work, when a popup opened to show that she had a new mail.

_Subject: Re: Hello  
From: "Kuga Natsuki" plushies. at. rebel-bikers. com_  
_Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2006 19:10:27 +0900  
To: "Fujino Shizuru" / fujino. shizuru. at. fujinocorp. co. jp_

_Hi Shizuru!_

_It's great!_

_Have you visited the Eiffel tower? I was told that it's worth seeing._

_You are lucky to have the sun; I thought that it was always raining in Paris._

_Mai told me that it's the holidays in France, so do you have a lot of work?_

_See you,  
Natsuki_

_Subject: Salut  
From: "Fujino Shizuru" / fujino. shizuru. at. fujinocorp. co. jp  
Date: Sun, 25 Jun 2006 08:17:53 +0200  
To: "Kuga Natsuki" / plushies. at. rebel-bikers. com_

_Salut Natsuki! (It means 'hello'.)_

_I have not visited the Eiffel tower yet. I will probably do it this weekend._

_For now, I am not busy at work. However, I dread the following week. My manager told me that it would be a very active period._

_What about you? Are you serious at school? Do you do your homework? It is not the time to play anymore, even if your graduation will be the next school year, you already have to work now. I think it is the examination period, isn't it?_

_Take care,  
Shizuru_

The rebel biker mumbled. _Of course I am serious…You can come back to check it. _She sighed, "Shizuru, where are you?"

* * *

After the failure with Reito, Natsuki demanded Yukino to ask Haruka Shizuru's address. This query had a little surprise the blond hair girl, but she didn't have the least idea of where Shizuru could be.

_Maybe should I ask her directly… But what will she think? And I don't want her to imagine that I can't live without her… Even if…_ She grumbled, "What should I do?"

Natsuki decided to reply to this mail the following day.

_Subject: Re: Salut  
From: "Kuga Natsuki" / plushies. at. rebel-bikers. com_  
_Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2006 17:11:10 +0900  
To: "Fujino Shizuru" / fujino. shizuru. at. fujinocorp. co. jp_

_Hi Shizuru!_

_I'm not a child anymore! I'm very serious. As you thought, we currently have a lot of exams, and I chose to stay at Mai's to study together. See!_

_The other side of the coin is that sometimes I have to 'baby-sit' Mikoto when Mai and Tate go out._

_She is nice, but she spends her time eating or running in the house. I think I will never have children if they all are like Mikoto._

_See you,  
Natsuki_

During theses weeks, the two girls were exchanging casual mails: Natsuki still felt guilty, as to Shizuru, she didn't want to show her sorrow, that's why she tried to appear unaffected.

Natsuki's cell phone beeped. The owner rushed to the phone.

_Subject: Coucou from France  
From: "Fujino Shizuru" / fujino. shizuru. at. fujinocorp. co. jp_  
_Date: Thu, 06 Jul 2006 10:39:22 +0200  
To: "Kuga Natsuki" / plushies. at. rebel-bikers. com_

_Hello Natsuki!_

_How are you?_

_As expected, this week is very busy. Anyways, we can handle it, as we always work as a team._

_Yesterday, I saw a report on the Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra. It made me think about your concert seats. Was it this orchestra?_

_I am really sorry for not being there. I should have told you earlier that I would not be able to come with you._

_I will be curious to know what you will do with the tickets._

_Take care,  
Shizuru_

Green eyes grew wider. _The tickets? Oh… I completely forgot about it…_

* * *

That was three days ago…

A sad Natsuki was about to throw the concert tickets in the trash. "I don't need them anymore."

"Oh! What are you doing?" Kikuchi ran to delve into the basket. "Are you stupid?"

Natsuki was so stunned to see Kikuchi in this state that she didn't pay attention to his harsh behaviour. "Huh?"

"How dare you get rid of this treasure?"

"What do you mean?"

"They are seats for the famous _Tokyo Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra_, aren't they?

"What!"

"Oh my gosh… Don't tell me you ignored that!"

"How do you know that?"

"I recognised the log!" He pointed at the symbol, which was printed on the paper.

The girl didn't care about what Kikuchi was saying. "Ah…"

Then, the boy started complaining, "H-How is it possible to waste this? I-I can…"

Finally, the blue haired girl didn't regret to have acquired these tickets. That was worth seeing Kikuchi dash into dustbin. She sniggered.

The usually well-mannered boy didn't welcome well this behaviour. "Why are you laughing? They are very precious!"

"Well, if you grant them so much importance, I'll give them to you."

Kikuchi was delighted, "Oh, thank you!" He put the tickets in his pocket. "By curiosity, why did you have these tickets? You do not seem to be the kind of girl who can like such a concert."

"What!"

"I am sorry, but I do not think that you have such a refined taste. Err… I mean…"

These words resounded in Natsuki's mind. Shizuru used the _same_ expression.

"…_such a refined taste…" _"I don't…" _Maybe I should change for Shizuru… She is too kind with me and I… I don't do anything in return… Perhaps I should try to become interested in her pastimes…_

She swiftly took the tickets out Kikuchi's pocket. "Give me that!"

The boy took them back. "Hey! You told me that they were mine!"

The two high-school students were squabbling like kindergarteners. They were pulling the tickets back and forth.

"I changed my mind! Gi-give me that!"

"That's not fair!"

"I don't care! They're mine!"

"But there are two tickets. You can give one to me!"

"What! No way!"

"Don't tell me you'll find someone who likes that!"

Natsuki couldn't lie. "I-I…" She stopped and resigned herself grumpily, "Ok! Take it and get lost!"

"Great! Thank you. I will pay you back."

"Of course!" And she left.

"Hey! Wait!"

Natsuki turned back angrily, "What else!"

"Instead of going there separately, we can go together."

"Huh?"

"I can have a car and I know very well that you do not have a vehicle."

"No way! I don't want to date you!"

"Oh, stop it! Do you always think about that? You can go to a concert with a guy without necessarily dating him."

The seventeen-year-old student was hesitant. During the past several days, she got to know Kikuchi. She couldn't say that she liked to be with him, but his presence didn't disturb her anymore. Moreover, having a car was more convenient that taking a taxi. Plus, it was cheaper. No, Natsuki wasn't stingy, but she had to spare money… _in order to buy another bike. Yeah, what could it be otherwise? _"Aa…"

"So, do you agree?"

"Well…" Sharply, she added, "Ok! But as soon as we arrive, you stay away from me!"

* * *

_I completely forgot. Well, it's not very important…_

Natsuki wrote her mail.

_Subject: Re: Salut  
From: "Kuga Natsuki" / plushies. at. rebel-bikers. com_  
_Date: Fri, 07 Jul 2006 17:10:10 +0900  
To: "Fujino Shizuru" / fujino. shizuru. at. fujinocorp. co. jp_

_Hi Shizuru!_

_I wish you good luck. I can imagine that it's not easy._

_For the concert, you'll laugh. I'm gonna go with Kikuchi. He will pay me back. What a moron, he ignores that I got them for free._

_See you,  
Natsuki_

Shizuru couldn't detach her gaze from the screen. _Why didn't she tell me earlier? Is it because she's dating him? No… It's impossible… So… Why did she hide it?_

_Maybe… Natsuki lied to me…_

**End of chapter 12.**

* * *

Because of FF, I can't write e-mail addresses... So, sorry for the display... It's annoying!

BTW, I changed the concert date because of coherency... I hope you don't mind.

Well, what do you think about this long chapter? There's not a lot of things in it but I think it has its use ;)


	13. It isn't a date! Isn't it?

**Author's notes**

Thank you everybody for your great reviews!

Sorry I didn't have the time to reply to each of you... :p

I know that you are worrying... I'll explain some things later ;)

**And thanks to my beta-reader Sayosi :)  
**

Edit: Thank you 'unknow' :) Ok.. I warned you lol...

Here's the update!

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 13.**

**十三 It isn't a date! Isn't it?**

At length, the concert day came.

Crossing his arms, Kikuchi was leaning his back on the door of his car parked in front of Natsuki's apartment. He was waiting for the latter.

At the sight of Natsuki, Kikuchi's eyes grew wider. He went to her and stammered, "Err… Natsuki… You… You… You will wear that!"

"What! It's not good?" She looked at herself. She was wearing her light blue long-sleeve sweatshirt with a hood and a skirt almost similar as her uniform one.

He smirked. "Well, it is not very… hum… dressy."

The girl was offended. "Hey! I wear a skirt! I think it's enough!"

"Well… Eh! Look at me." He spun. "Am I not handsome?" He gave a star-like seductive look. He was wearing an expensive black outfit with a white shirt.

"You are ridiculous. You look like a waiter!" Natsuki laughed at him.

Kikuchi scowled. "You are not very nice… Anyways…" He clapped his hand. "I guess it is time to go." He opened the rear right door and bent stretching his hand to the inside of the car. "Please do me this honour."

Natsuki was embarrassed by such behaviour. "Stop it!" She opened the passenger door and sat down near the chauffeur.

The boy sighed and looked at the sky, shaking his head. "I think this will be a long night…"

* * *

The two young people were driven to the Fuuka Metropolitan Art Space. The place was crowded.

As soon as they entered the building, several disdainful eyes were staring at Natsuki. The subject of the staring threw them her most frightening death glare to get them to quiet down.

Then, they entered the room.

Natsuki was a bit embarrassed with Kikuchi's behaviour. The young man was very courteous, a genuine gentleman. However, he was doing too much for Natsuki's liking. She didn't know if it was normal to act that way. After all, it was the first time she had spent so much time with a guy. That was why she didn't say anything.

After that, the doors were closed and the show began…

* * *

Two hours later, a crying Kikuchi went out the building, "It was… it was beautiful! So much emotion with music. I cannot tell what I liked the most. The first movement is brooding and mysterious; dramatically intense and alternates between stormy conflict and serene vision. The scherzo of the second movement was so vigorous and dashing. The way of how the movements are linked together is simply marvellous. The repetition of the first movement in the Adagio was the best way to end it. And what a magnificent Allegro vivace finale, gathering the motifs and themes of the previous movements..."

As for Natsuki, she found the show boring. Ok, the music was nice, but there was nothing to get excited about. She looked at the touched boy suspiciously. He was so pathetic.

_How is it possible to feel so much for a mere concert? Is it to be sophisticated? He would get along with_ _Shizuru… Oh! _The girl had a flash. "Kikuchi, do you know at which temperature the champagne should be served?"

A few months ago, she purely ignored the simple existence of this precept. However, during Shizuru's graduation party, she learned that a bottle of champagne should NEVER be put in the freezer.

Stunned by such a question, he stopped 'crying', "Yes, of course. It depends of the age of the champagne. For young champagne, I recommend a temperature of 8°C. For vintage one, 10 or 11°C will be better. Why do you ask?"

_Yes! I think he can be useful._ "It's nothing."

A lot of information processed in Natsuki's mind. She still felt guilty for her conduct towards Shizuru. In order to be forgiven, she decided to be interested in Shizuru's hobbies. In addition, Natsuki chose to change a little to show to Shizuru that she cared for her Kyoto friend.

That was why she took up one of the hardest decision in her life, selling herself short by soliciting the help of Kikuchi. She took a large breath and asked uncertainly, "Hum… Do you mind teaching me some… tips?"

The young man looked at her curiously.

* * *

That was how Natsuki's initiation of good manners started.

Of course, Natsuki threatened Kikuchi not to reveal it to whomever. The poor boy agreed conscious of the veracity of Natsuki's words.

The studious girl had a lot of time since it was the summer holidays.

The first step was to stop swearing. That was a hard task for Natsuki, and it was worth several punches for Kikuchi.

The second step was to learn to be a little more interested in cultural entertainment like ballet, theatre, and opera. Natsuki fell asleep several times during the performance of _The Nutcracker_. She found it too sugary. However, she appreciated the _Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun_.

The next step was having good manners at the restaurant. No, Natsuki didn't eat like an undomesticated beast, but she had some habits, which were not very welcomed… Like requesting a bottle of mayonnaise in a posh restaurant.

Moreover, she demanded to Kikuchi to lecture her the art of eating with a knife and a fork. This job was more difficult that it seemed.

Why?

Well, it could be helpful. For example, if she wanted to dine in a French restaurant. There were some French restaurants in Japan, right? Otherwise, where could she consume French food?

That was why the two accomplices were lunching in a chic place.

The 'teacher' started his lecture, "So… Firstly, you have to use the cutlery, which is on the outermost position". He pointed out the utensils on his left side from the left to the right, "Here you have the salad fork, the fish fork and the dinner fork". Pointing the other side, he added, "And there you have the…"

Natsuki didn't listen to these explanations. It was too boring and too complex. _What is the use_ _of that? Having chopsticks is ten times easier!_

Ten minutes later, the well-mannered boy had finished to explicate all the details from the use of the diverse forks to why you couldn't drink wine in a water tumbler. "Well… Natsuki, did you understand all of that?"

The question pulled the distracted girl out her thoughts. "Huh? Ah… Yes, of course."

"Great! So, if I serve you a hot first course, which fork will you use?"

Taking and holding the salad fork, Natsuki smirked. "This one?"

The young man stared at her awestruck.

The blue haired girl understood that she was wrong, "Ok, but it's not my fault! Who is the idiot who invented _this_?"

Seeing her friend starting to have his intellectual look, she interrupted him, "Shh! I don't want to have a History class!"

* * *

At the end of that exhausting day, Natsuki returned to Mai's room. She was greeted by Mikoto, "Hey! Natsuki, where were you? You missed Mai's ramen!"

"Oh. There is none left?"

The younger girl shook her head.

"Ok." _Stupid question…_

Mai came towards them, "Well, Mikoto, you know that Natsuki was busy all day…" She turned to the blushing girl. "Right, Natsuki?"

The reddening girl was upset. "Huh? What do you mean?"

The blue-eyed girl stated quietly to be only heard by Natsuki, although it was useless since Mikoto went to her bed, "Well, you know… You and your… Kikuchi-kun." She winked.

Natsuki was offended by such an accusation. "Sh... Spot it! Why would you think that?"

"Well… Chie and Aoi have seen you together several times… That was why the whole school knows Kikuchi and you are…"

"What! This is stupid! He just helped me!" shouted an irritated Natsuki.

Mai was curious. "Help you to do what?"

"To…" The seventeen-year-old girl stopped. She couldn't confess to her friend that she learned the manners from Kikuchi and, above all, she couldn't tell the reason why. She grumbled, "Just drop it!"

Mai simply shrugged and headed to the kitchen.

The green-eyed girl could understand Mai's point of view. However, she knew that her friend was totally wrong.

Natsuki found Kikuchi nice. He turned out to be funny. Nevertheless, she will never EVER love him. He was only a friend.

Therefore, without her knowledge, Natsuki was more and more capable to differentiate a simple friend from Shizuru.

Mai was her friend, okay. Natsuki always knew that Shizuru had a more important place in her heart, but that was only one example.

Now she opened up more to the others. She let Kikuchi become her friend _very_ easily.

However, Natsuki preferred Shizuru from all the others no matter what happened.

She realised that her feelings for Shizuru might surpass the stage of friendship. She had the proof during the HiME festival. Her Child was as tall as Shizuru's.

But to what extend did she love her friend?

* * *

During this week and the following ones, Natsuki passed a lot of time with Kikuchi. Even if it was the holidays, many students noticed them together. That was why the latter two became the subject of numerous gossips…to the displeasure of Natsuki. "I'm fed up with that. Why do they all think that we are a couple? I can't take it anymore…"

"It is true that in these conditions it is difficult. However, if it was the case, it would not disturb me", affirmed Kikuchi, as calm as ever.

"What do you mean?"

"Natsuki, you must be blind, or maybe you don't imagine how wonderful you are, but don't you see my feelings for you?"

Natsuki was losing track. "Huh?"

Kikuchi wanted Natsuki to understand, but it was not easy, "Well… All these signs I send you…"

"What!"

He sighed, "Okay. I will not beat around the bush. Natsuki, I love you."

Natsuki was speechless.

"Since the first day I met you, I couldn't stop thinking of you."

The girl was embarrassed. "N-No! You can't! Don't say that!"

"Why can't you believe that I'm in love with you?"

Natsuki's face showed a mix of amazement and fear.

"I see. Love frightens you."

Whereas Kikuchi was serene and composed, Natsuki was disturbed and annoyed. "You're wrong!"

"Don't deny it. It is obvious."

She vociferated, "Just because I don't want to date you doesn't mean you can immediately deduce I'm afraid of _that_!"

"See, you can't even say it."

She controlled herself. "Ok. So I don't LOVE you. Are you satisfied?"

Kikuchi was obviously disappointed. However, he knew well from the beginning that it was in vain… "And Shizuru?"

Hearing _her_ name, Natsuki's heart skipped a beat. "Why do you mention her?"

Kikuchi didn't take in this question. "Tell me what you feel for her."

The flushed girl became angrier. "What! You know, she's my friend, my best friend!"

Kikuchi kept questioning, "That's all?"

"What do you mean by 'that's all'?"

"She's only your friend?"

The girl hesitated, "Err… yes, of course!"

"You don't seem sure."

Natsuki calmed down. "But… It's true that I like to be with her, I miss her and I have to admit I miss her teasing too." She inwardly smiled, she recovered, "But no! She's just my friend".

"Whom are you trying to convince? You or me?"

Natsuki was about to cry. Kikuchi's questions were too embarrassing. "Stop it with that!"

"So… Tell me that you feel nothing for her. Tell me that you consider her only as a friend." Kikuchi's words were always firm and clear. He wanted to wake up the girl to her feelings.

The blushed girl stammered, "S-So… B-But…" She shouted, "I don't need to say it! Anyways, it'll prove nothing!"

"All right. So, tell me that you don't love her."

"Well!" She crossed her arms. "I… I…" She grumbled, "You're bothering me! It's only because I can't say it… in general!"

"Yet you just told me that."

"What!"

"You have a bad memory? You said that you didn't love me."

He waited for Natsuki to answer. However, the girl was deep in her thoughts. Kikuchi was right. Finally, he asked, "So… Will you continue lying to me and, above all, lying to yourself?"

The pensive student muttered, "Get lost". And she left abruptly.

* * *

When she came back at home, well, Mai's dorm, Natsuki looked lost and extremely sad.

Mai feared that Natsuki fell into her post-Shizuru's leaving depressive state again.

Knowing that her lonely friend spent the day with Kikuchi, she tried to brighten up her friend by asking playfully, "Hey, Natsuki! What's happened to you? Did your date with Kikuchi finish badly?"

Even if she was joking, Mai had doubts on it. _Why did Natsuki let a person like him enter in her life so easily?_

Of course, Mai ignored that if Natsuki passed so much time with Kikuchi it was only on interest. Moreover, even if Mai gave some of her time to Natsuki, the red haired girl was rather busy.

Instead of barking, Natsuki had an unexpected reaction. She asked quietly, "Why do you think that I'm dating him?"

Mai argued, "Well, you go to the cinema and restaurants with him. You spend most of your time together. I don't know what you call that, but for me it's a date".

"If you say so…"

"You don't look so convinced, do you?"

"Ah… hum, yeah. But I don't know what to believe. I'm tired of thinking…"

Hearing exasperation in Natsuki's voice, Mai was worried. "Natsuki…"

The confused girl didn't stop her speech, "Yeah, I don't know what I'm feeling. It bothers me!"

The younger girl tried to reassure her friend, "Maybe it's because it's all new for you. Take your time."

Natsuki got fed up. "I can't wait. I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do…"

Sensing that Natsuki started to get depressed, Mai friendly scolded her, "Hey, Natsuki, calm down! You barely know him! Why do you bother with that?"

…'_Cause I'm not talking about him._ "I ignore it. My mind is troubled."

"Ok, well, you should rest. We can talk about it later."

Grateful, Natsuki slightly smiled. "Thanks, Mai."

* * *

That night, Natsuki couldn't sleep. She was thinking too much. She had a strange feeling; her stomach was tied up in knots. Her heart was accelerating. She began to have a headache.

She was uncomfortable as she was going to face her greatest fear.

The fact that a stranger told her she was in love with Shizuru made her face the truth once again…

However, she was still afraid; hence she didn't want to believe it…

**End of chapter 13.**

* * *

Kikuchi's speech about the concerto was based on Wikipedia. One can easily find what the orchestra played.

Please tell me what you think about this chapter :)

I have already the chapter 14 but it isn't beta'd... And I wanted absolutely to post it today (10th of October XD) :p  
So... I don't know what to do... I think I'll try but... sorry for the mistakes :p

Little spoil for those who are worrying...

Spoil :

..

..

..

..

..  
I swear... This is a ShizNat fanfic! I don't know exactly when (in fact, I know but I don't wanna tell you :p), but Natsuki and Shizuru will be together!

Spoil: end.


	14. Happy birthday, Natsuki

**Author's notes**

Thank you for your reviews :) It was quick XD

Ok... So here the chapter 14.

**Edit:** Now, it is beta-read! Thanks Sayosi :)

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 14.**

**十四 Happy Birthday, Natsuki**

The days and the weeks passed… Shizuru was more and more able to hold out. Finally, she had entirely forgotten Natsuki… Well, that was what she thought…

* * *

Friday, the twelfth of August… In three days, Natsuki would be eighteen.

_I'll be one year older… What does it change? _

She knew that she couldn't avoid it, but sometimes she didn't want to grow up. According to her, becoming an adult meant a lot of things: being more responsible, facing her own problems, and, above all, facing her fear of the future.

She ignored what she would do after high school. She ignored what her friendship with Shizuru would become.

Indeed, she was always with Shizuru, and now that her friend left Natsuki felt a void in her heart.

A few years ago, Natsuki didn't like to celebrate her birthday. Moreover, she used to be alone for so many years. Then she met Shizuru, the one who had the preposterous idea to have a party. Well, 'party' wasn't exactly the right term, as there were only Shizuru and her.

In those days, Natsuki thought that it was a waste of time. Besides, she didn't understand her friend's behaviour.

_"Why do you bother yourself for my sake?" _

_"Because I like you. We are friends." _

Shizuru kept repeating that line, but Natsuki didn't really pay attention to it. For her, it was normal to act that way towards a friend. In fact, she didn't have another reference.

However, now she wished Shizuru were here.

_Why are you not here? Why did you leave? _

Her last image of Shizuru was a Shizuru with her irremovable smile, claiming that she loved her. It was…

_…seventy-one days and three hours ago… _

Natsuki got fed up. She didn't want her birthday to be an ordinary day. That was why she took the bus to the town centre.

"Good afternoon. I would like to know the price of a trip to Paris, France", demanded an impatient green-eyed girl.

"When do you want to leave?"

"As soon as possible."

The saleswoman checked her computer. "Hum… We still have some seats available for the fourth of September."

The blue-haired girl was losing her patience. "Huh? No, you don't understand! It's urgent! I have to leave now!"

"I'm sorry, but it's full. A little time ago, we still had one earlier place. You're not lucky."

The high school girl scowled. _Thanks for reminding me that! _

"Please tell us your phone number. We'll contact you if there are withdrawals."

She grumbled, "No, thanks".

While exiting the travel agency, she passed Kikuchi. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi Natsuki. Hum… Nothing, I was wandering around."

While walking, the two young people talked.

"So, Natsuki, I learned that your birthday will be in three days!"

"Yes."

"Plus, you will be eighteen! You are getting old!"

Knowing that her friend was joking, even if it was a bad joke, Natsuki merely grimaced.

"Oh sorry. Hey, tell me! Am I invited?" He winked at Natsuki.

That joke displeased the young girl. "You still don't understand? I told you that I didn't love you! Stop tagging along with me!"

"Yes, I know. So sorry. However, I can stay your friend, right?"

"Ok, but don't misinterpret things!"

"Anyways, I knew that you would never love me. I wanted to seize my chance. As I said before, life is short…"

"What do you mean?"

"Well… Life is short, we do…"

The tempestuous girl interrupted his speech, "No! I'm not talking about that! How did you know that I would never love you?"

"I guessed it since the first time I saw you together. I understood there was something…"

_"Fujino Shizuru… The girl from Kyoto. I understand now... A lot of rumours spread that she was in love with Natsuki. Now that I see them together, I get it." _

He carried on, "I knew that she was in love with you, but I didn't suspect it was mutual".

Natsuki was torn between what her friend was saying, what her heart was feeling, and what her mind was shouting. She felt uneasy. She was about to cry, "Please, stop it with that".

"I don't understand what bothers you. It is wonderful to love."

She mumbled, "You can't understand…"

"Ok. I will ignore the reason why, but it seems to be a burden for you."

"Leave me alone."

"Then tell me why you don't want to show your feelings!"

"What?"

"It's true. Let loose a little! You look like an icicle, which feels nothing except resentment."

Natsuki's voice was mixed with sadness and anger, "Stop it!"

"You see, I am aware that sometimes you can be nice, yet this rebellious mask doesn't work anymore… Showing your emotions is not a weakness… It renders you human."

* * *

_The_ day, Natsuki's birthday, finally came.

Mai had insisted on throwing a party and inviting a lot of people. That idea didn't enchant Natsuki very well. However, she didn't want to be alone. That was why she agreed reluctantly.

The red-haired girl was in the kitchen cooking a cake for Natsuki's birthday.

Natsuki was still in her I-want-to-change-for-Shizuru phase and asked timidly if Mai needed her help.

_Natsuki wants to cook?_ Of course, the idea surprised Mai, and she prevented herself from laughing since it had to be difficult for Natsuki to request such a favour. "Err… Well, ok. What do you want to do?"

The shy girl's eyes grew wider. She didn't have the least idea of what could be done to prepare a cake. "Err…"

Perceiving the trouble in Natsuki's face, Mai rectified, "Err… Ok. What CAN you do?"

Natsuki frowned, looking for something she was able to do, but she didn't find anything. She shrugged. "I don't know."

The cooking teacher smiled with sympathy. "Ok. Hum… Well, you can break those eggs, there, and beat them."

_Breaking eggs, huh?_ The cooking disaster remembered her performance during the Midori's cooking test. That was funny… Certainly frustrating, but funny. "Err… May I do something easier please?"

Mai sighed, "Geez…"

* * *

Three hours and a huge amount of flour on the floor mixed with some eggshell and sugar later, the cake was ready.

Since Natsuki persisted to help a lot, the dessert wasn't very complex to cook. Anyways, it was still edible… At least, it seemed to be.

Much to Mai's surprise, Natsuki turned to be a talented artist, and she decorated the cake with chocolate drawings on the glazing. "Hey, is it a cherry tree?"

"Ah… Err… yes, why?"

"Oh, I find it poetic. I thought you would draw something more… hum more like you", she simpered.

Natsuki faintly smiled. "I like this tree… It reminds me of good memories…"

* * *

Six o'clock in the afternoon. In a restaurant in town centre, the first part of Natsuki's birthday party was doing well. Again 'party' was a little bit exaggerated. It was more like an old friends' reunion. Actuality, it was almost the same kind of party as Mai's one, a few weeks ago, without the karaoke!

For Mai's birthday, Natsuki had offered a small gadget. It was a little plastic flower, which shook her head.

Mai couldn't tell what she found the more moving, the little sunflower that was so _cuuute_ or the blushing Natsuki attempting to contain her trouble.

The caring girl slowly got to know Natsuki. At the beginning, Natsuki tried really hard to appear tough, and then she opened up to the others little by little, always keeping her rebel side slight.

However harsh the lonely girl might seem, Mai knew well that Natsuki was a very kind-hearted person. A book should never be judged by its cover…

* * *

The 'Queen of the day' was having a serious talk with Kikuchi. "I told you it's worthless… I'm too old for that now…"

"Ok, so you cannot have the great discount at the Hotdog Palace anymore, but there are so many advantages of being eighteen-year-old."

Natsuki looked at him curiously.

He continued, "Well, you can have a driver's licence! That is great!"

"I don't care! I prefer to ride a bike! It's more thrilling. When you exceed one hundred kilometres per hour, you feel the adrenaline rise in you. The littlest mistake can make you run off the road. You continually skim death, that's exciting!"

"Wow, I ignored that you want to die!"

"No! I'm not so careless!"

"Anyways, I prefer having a car. It is safer and you can still have your fair share of thrills. I had some frights myself… Luckily, I reacted just in time…"

"Wait a second… You aren't old enough to drive!"

"No, but sometimes I take my mother's car… without her knowing." He put out his tongue.

* * *

It was now the present distribution time.

Mai gave Natsuki a big decorated box. "Hey, it's from Mikoto and me."

Astonished by the size of the box, Natsuki smiled. "Thanks, Mikoto. Thanks, Mai."

The gift was a dog plushie with azure eyes. The blue-haired girl tried to appear upset, "What! A plushie! How old do you think I am?"

However, her performance was not very convincing. _Wah, the blue-eyed husky I wanted. He is too cute. _

As soon as the others looked away, she tapped the head of the stuffed animal and laid it next to her.

She had several presents, from a miniature motorbike to vouchers for a new sort of mayonnaise.

Afterwards, all headed to the small dance floor, which was in the restaurant. Nevertheless, Natsuki stayed at the table, thinking, _I am lucky to have friends like that… So why do I…_

"Hey, Natsuki!" Kikuchi sat down face to her. "Do you want to dance?" He was moving on his chair.

"No, not yet. Thanks."

"Oh, ok. Oh, wait, I forgot that." He took an envelope out his pocket. "Happy birthday, Natsuki." He winked.

"What is this envelope?"

"Well, a love letter."

Natsuki was staring at him with eyes wide opened.

The boy laughed, "No, I am joking! Open it".

The credulous girl tore the envelope open. In it, there was a ticket to… Paris. The girl didn't believe her eyes. "But… Why?"

"Well, I have some influential friends. I can get cheap tickets."

"Well, ok! But why do you offer me this?"

"So we can go together to the city of love!"

Natsuki was about to lose her temper, "Sto…"

Kikuchi cut her off, "I am kidding! It is just... I know I have been awful with you. I wanted to apologize".

"Ah…" Natsuki smiled. "Thanks." She paused and then she frowned, _But she still didn't tell me where she was... Even if I go there..._

Noticing the I-think-to-much girl, Kikuchi appended, "Oh, come on, Natsuki! Stop thinking! You will have wrinkles on your forehead if you continue. It is your birthday! Enjoy your life! Plus, isn't it a great present?"

"Yes, that's great and I'm grateful but... I... I don't have her address..."

The young man took a horrified look. "What! You did not find anybody who knew her address! Oh, what will you do?"

Natsuki was downcast. _So close and yet so far…_

The teaser smiled. "Take it." He gave to Natsuki a small folded paper. "Here is her address."

The young girl was more astonished than she was a few minutes ago. "How di…"

"Shh… It is a se-cret." He winked. "I told you that I knew some contacts."

Natsuki didn't understand her friend's conduct at all, though she didn't think much about it. She would be able to go to Shizuru.

Kikuchi left and joined the others, whilst Natsuki stayed motionless, staring at an inexistent point. Her birthday wish would be fulfilled.

As she was absently looking at the exit door, a chestnut-haired girl made her entry.

Natsuki's heart skipped a beat. She felt suddenly dizzy. "Shizuru?"

The young adult looked at the other girl more carefully. Unfortunately, it was not Shizuru…

_Tsk. How could I make _this_ mistake? She doesn't even have half of _her_ grace. What! No…that wasn't… _

All of a sudden, her cell phone's ringtone pulled her out her reverie. This time it was really Shizuru.

"Hi Natsuki! Happy birthday!"

"Hell, Shizuru! Thank you."

"I apologise for not calling sooner, but you are aware that there is a time difference of seven hours between Japan and France."

"Yes, I know. It's okay."

"So, what did you do for your birthday?"

"Mai has organised a small party. It's only the beginning. We are in the restaurant now, and then we'll go to her dorm to eat some cake."

"Oh, that is great! She is very nice."

"Yeah, I know I'm lucky…" _But this would be better if you were by my side…_

Neither of the girls was speaking. Two minutes later Natsuki broke the silence.

"Shizuru I…" _I miss you_ "I want to thank you for…calling me."

"Don't be so thankful, Natsuki. It is only a mere call. Your gift should arrive soon. I am sorry for the delay, however, I wished to find the perfect present."

"I… I…" _miss you_ "I…"

"Please excuse me, Natsuki, I have to hang up. Furthermore, you should look after your guests."

"Ah…"

_Tell her this time! Otherwise you will regret it once again. _

_"Showing your emotions is not a weakness… It renders you human." _

"Shizuru?"

"Hum… Yes, Natsuki?"

"I…I miss you."

Hearing no answer from the other side, Natsuki started to worry. "Shizuru?"

"…Oh, that is too kind of you Natsuki!"

Natsuki couldn't see her friend, but she could bet that Shizuru was wearing her fake, trademark smile.

The Kyoto girl carried on, "Nevertheless, I am sorry, I really have to hang up. I wish you a happy birthday once again".

"Hum… Err… Okay… Thank you."

"Bye."

The blue-haired girl was frustrated. She confessed she missed Shizuru, and _that_ was the answer she got. _What do you except of me Shizuru? Is it possible that you don't love me anymore? _She grumbled, "I wish I understood _that_ thing!"

* * *

_It's enough. Hang up! You shouldn't talk to her this long. _

"I… I… I…"

Shizuru didn't hear that Natsuki was about to speak. "Please excuse me, Natsuki, I have to hang up. Furthermore, you should look after your guests."

"Ah… Shizuru?"

"Hum… Yes, Natsuki?"

"I…I miss you."

Shizuru was speechless, completely rattled. The normally never-failing girl had accepted that Natsuki would never love her. Hearing her friend saying that she missed her was too startling.

Maybe it was a mere demonstration of friendship, however, that perturbed Shizuru. Natsuki couldn't say such words mindlessly and especially spontaneously. Yes, it was the first time that Natsuki had expressed her feelings willingly.

The speaker was worried. "Shizuru?"

Shizuru woke up. "…Oh, that is too kind of you, Natsuki! …Nevertheless, I am sorry, I really have to hang up. I wish you a happy birthday once again."

"Hum… Err… Okay… Thank you."

"Bye."

Shizuru hung up. She let her phone fall on her bed and resumed her packing…

**End of chapter 14.**

* * *

So... Two chapters in one day... Are you happy? ;) (Oh and don't forget to review the previous chapter too, I would like to know your impression on that one too :) )

For the little story... mylife dot com XD

I wanted absolutely to post this chapter (Natsuki's birthday) today, since it's my birthday too XD (no, not in August lol) I know I'm a little weird, but you are the winners in this story as you have two chapters for the price of one :P


	15. Too late?

**Author's notes**

Thank you everybody for your great reviews! I have the motivation, yes :p

**I don't forget to thank my beta-reader, Sayosi ;)**

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 15.**

**十五 Too late?**

Ten days later…

In her apartment, Natsuki was looking for something… She grumbled, "Where is it? I was sure it was here!"

Then someone rang the doorbell.

"It's open!" shouted Natsuki.

"Hi Natsuki! You know, you really didn't need to…" The visitor stopped to inspect Natsuki's place, and appended, astonished, "Wow! What's happened here? Natsuki…Your flat is…tidy?"

"Hi Mai. Yeah, all is in order. Is that so shocking?"

The red-haired girl smirked. "Well… I'll abstain myself from making any comment."

Natsuki grimaced. "Wait a little, please. I'll give you back your book."

"Ah, thank you, but you don't need to hurry up. It's not urgent."

"Yes, I know. However, I don't know when I will come back…"

"What do you mean?"

As if she was a little child who was about to confess a wrongdoing, Natsuki declared in a hushed tone, "In four days…I'll go to…Paris".

Mai's reaction was instantaneous. "Huh? Are you aware that it's almost the end of the holidays? Classes will start in less than two weeks?"

"Yes, I know, but I can't do differently."

"And could you tell me what you will do over there? I suppose it's not for tourism."

Natsuki shook her head. "No… In fact…" The girl was hesitating to reveal her reasons to Mai, but she made up her mind. Mai was her friend and should know the truth. "In fact…I…want to pay Shizuru a visit."

"Oh, that's very nice of you, but she'll be upset if you miss the lecture to go to France."

Imagining the scene, Natsuki slightly laughed, "Yeah I know but…" She carried on her confession, "My visit is purely egoistic… The reason is…I…I miss her".

"Oh." The red-haired girl didn't expect this revelation. Given that Natsuki was in a confiding mood, Mai took her chance to ask _that_ question, which titillates her mind. "Say, Natsuki… What kind of feelings do you have for Fujino-san?"

Natsuki's heart jumped. "What!"

"For a long time I wondered how you became friends with a girl like her. She is entirely different from you, and I don't think you took the first step. Consequently, it means that you let her interfere in your life. That's why…"

The lonely girl tried to convince Mai, "Ok, but it means nothing!"

"All rright, that's true. And what about the fact she is your most important person?" Mai didn't stop questioning.

Natsuki sputtered, "H-how do you know that? I revealed it to nobody!"

"Even if you didn't tell me this story, I'm not stupid. I saw the two pillars arise at the same time. Moreover, you let her get so close to you… It put a bug in my ear. And I didn't pay attention to it before, but when we were at the lingerie shop where Fujino-san works she mentioned that…"

"Hey, stop it!" interrupted the embarrassed girl.

"And about the fact that you were completely depressed when she left? Is it not enough?"

"No! Stop it! I'm fed up with your insinuations! I can't love her!"

"And why?"

"B-because! And why does everybody want me to love her?"

"We don't. We are just mere observers."

* * *

Four days later… On Monday…

"So, this is France…" A blue-haired girl was looking around. "First of all, I have to find the street…" She took closer the paper that was in her hands. "Ok…"

Next, the tourist came to a passer-by. However, Natsuki was unable to understand what he was saying. "Err… No, you don't understand." She pointed out her paper. "This street. Do you understand? S-T-R-E-E-T…"

Unfortunately, it was useless. Natsuki rapidly gave up.

Finally, the girl found herself walking across Paris. The city was very big and there were a lot of inhabitants. The young girl marvelled at what she was seeing.

That day Natsuki must have been lucky since she located the avenue where Shizuru was living. She had found a big map.

Here she was, in front of the door. She would be able to see Shizuru again after a very long time.

Natsuki's hands were moist, her heart was going faster and she felt a little unsteady. She was eager to ring the doorbell and was petrified at the same time.

What could she say to Shizuru? Would her friend be happy to see her? What would she think?

The hesitant girl took a large breath and pushed the button for the bell.

Much to her surprise, it was an old woman who opened the door.

Natsuki stuttered, "W-why… W-who are you?"

Thankfully for Natsuki, the woman understood and was perfectly comprehensible. She smiled. "I am the one who should be surprised. Who are you looking for?"

The young girl got her breath back. "Oh… Sorry. May I speak to Shizuru, Fujino Shizuru, please?"

The woman knit her brows. "'Fujino Shizuru'? I'm sorry, I know nobody with this name."

Natsuki started to panic. "Excuse me?"

"There is no Fujino Shizuru here. Are you sure you have the correct address?"

Natsuki rapidly moved back, broken. "No… No… It's impossible… I want to talk to Shizuru!"

"I'm sorry but I don't know this person."

"Shizuru… No… No… I can't believe it…" Horrified, she abruptly turned back and ran away.

Natsuki was tottering in Paris, utterly ruined and, to top it all, it started to rain. She was alone in that big city…unable to understand the people around her.

That day started like a dream and would end like a nightmare.

When she crossed the street absently, she forgot to look both ways. Thus, she didn't notice the car, which was racing from the left.

Afterwards, there was the darkness.

Natsuki couldn't say if her eyes were opened or not. However, she could perfectly hear her heart hastening. Her breathing was loud. She was lying in her bed wondering what just happened.

_A nightmare…_

The unfortunate girl glanced at the alarm clock.

_Six o'clock._

The sleeper's foe would ring in one hour. Natsuki was hesitating between staying there and going out to walk a little.

Anyways, whatever she would choose, she knew she had to call Shizuru.

_I'm too close to my goal… I will not give up like that. I don't care what she will think about this. I must check this damn address and make sure that she will be there when I arrive…_

* * *

Five o'clock in the afternoon. Natsuki was punching in Shizuru's phone number.

The tone rang two times. Then, someone picked up, "Hello!"

Natsuki was speechless. The person on the other side of the line was undeniably not Shizuru. Moreover, she was speaking Japanese.

The speaker was impatient. "Hello?"

"You speak Japanese?"

"Err, it sounds like it, yes. Why do you ask such a question?"

"I think I may have called the wrong number. Is this 090-1010-5255?"

"Yes, that's right. Do you want to talk to Shizuru?"

"Yes, please. But before, could you tell me who you are?"

"Tell me who you are first."

Natsuki blew up, "What? Let me talk to Shizuru! It's important! Kuga Natsuki, I'm a friend of hers."

"Ah, Kuga-san! You should've told me it was you."

"Do I know you?"

"Yes. We saw each other when you came to the university. I'm Shizuru's classmate. Have you forgotten?"

"Err… Maybe. But I didn't know that other students were sent to Paris. I thought that Shizuru was alone over there."

"Sorry? I didn't get what you mean."

"I asked why you are in France."

"Errr… But you are mistaken. I'm not in France."

"What? So, where are you?"

"In Fuuka University."

_Huh?_ "So, where is Shizuru?"

"In the principal's office."

"What!" She stammered, "H-how long has she been here?"

"Hum…maybe ten minutes, I'm not sure."

"No! I mean when did she come back from France?"

"Approximately ten days ago… You didn't know that?"

"Hum…no."

The classmate detected the sorrow in Natsuki's tone. "Oh, you know how busy Shizuru is. She might have forgotten."

_Forgetting to tell her best friend she came back? And since when does Shizuru forget anything?_ "Hum… Ok… Sorry for disturbing."

"Hey, do you want me to call her? Or maybe can you leave a message?"

"No… Thanks. I'll call later."

The eighteen-year-old girl was angry, disappointed, and dazed. She could less and less understand her friend's comportment.

* * *

The following day…

Shizuru was in her room brewing some tea. Hearing the doorbell, she gracefully stood up and headed to the entryway. She didn't have the least idea of who could be on the other side of the door.

What a surprise it was to see a blue-haired girl who was crossing her arms on her chest while frowning and looking furiously at Shizuru.

For less than one second, Shizuru showed her animosity through her flawless mask. "Hi Natsuki." She smiled. "It is surprising to see you here."

Natsuki was still heated. "And what should I say? Were you planning to hide from me for the rest of your life?"

Shizuru slightly chuckled, "Ara ara, Natsuki. What a weird idea! Why would I avoid _my_ Natsuki?" Saying these words was like stabbing her heart.

"I don't know. Tell me."

"Well, Natsuki, I wanted my comeback to be a surprise." She made pretence of crying. "Mou… It seems that it is a total failure."

Natsuki became angrier; her friend was testing her patience. She stated firmly, "Stop it, Shizuru".

"Alright. So, tell me. What do you want me to say?" asked Shizuru calmly.

"Well… I don't know… Something like 'Hey, Natsuki! I'm back. We should do something together!' Is that so complicated?" spilled the blue-haired girl.

"Natsuki, you know…" Shizuru tried to explain herself, but Natsuki didn't give her the time to.

"No! You have no excuse! I am your best friend, aren't I? Why didn't you tell me truth?"

"Lying is also your speciality, isn't it?" Shizuru forthwith left her smile.

"What?" queried Natsuki, discomposed.

From the beginning, the always outwardly composed girl was containing her rage, but that was enough, she was overwrought. "Don't play the innocent girl anymore. I know the truth. You were lying to me from the beginning, even if I asked _it_ to you."

"What do you mean?"

Shizuru lowered her head. Tears were silently flowing on her face. "I am aware of your relationship with Kikuchi. Furthermore, you told me that you couldn't love me because you were afraid. I understood you. I was waiting for you, though it turned to be a lie too. So, Natsuki, please get away from me. Forget me. I don't want to be friends with a liar anymore." She aggressively slammed the door in Natsuki's face.

The other girl was standing here, on the landing, powerless, processing what was going on. _She thinks that… Kikuchi and I… What! _

**End of chapter 15.**

* * *

I think everybody will like the next chapter... I hope ;)


	16. Finally, I got it

**Author's notes**

Waouh! I am really really glad Thank you everybody for your reviews:)

**And thanks to my beta-reader, Sayosi ;)**

Here's the update!

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 16.**

**十六 Finally, I got it...  
**

_I should have broken down her door instead of giving up…Or…Maybe…In fact, what would I have said? "Why do you think I am a liar, Shizuru? Oh, and sorry for the door." Moreover, she didn't want to speak to me… I couldn't force her. Especially since she is sad because of me. Yes, I made her suffer…Once again…I am the only one who makes her cry. Why? I hate that. _

_When I saw tears roll down on her porcelain face, I felt my heart breaking. _

_"I am aware of your relationship with Kikuchi." _

_Which relationship? There's nothing! Why do you believe that? _

_"Furthermore, you told me that you couldn't love me because you were afraid." _

_Yes, it was true… It's _still_ true. _

She grumbled.

_I don't like him Shizuru! Is that why you call me a liar? _

_"I was waiting for you." _

_Ok. So…I was hurting her from the beginning… Furthermore, I made her cry twice… Am I that cruel? She was always there for me, she is always there for me. And what do I do for her? Nothing… _

_I wish I could give her something in return…But what? I have nothing… Plus…I can't give her what she really wants. _

_No, because…I can't love her...Like she wants. She had done so many incredible things for me. I don't think I am able to do that as well. Do I not deserve her love? Does loving someone mean to do everything possible for this person? If it's the case, I don't love her… Though… _

_Both Mai and Kikuchi say that I am in love with Shizuru. But how can it be possible? Is it that obvious? And above all, how can they say that I love her when I can't notice that? _

_Why am I not able to understand this? Why is everybody able to apprehend it and not me? Why is it still difficult for me to love? Why am I afraid? What should I do? _

_Shizuru… Please understand me… Wait for me a little still… I don't know what I am feeling, although I really want to know. However, today I'm sure of one thing… You represent more than a simple friend for me… _

* * *

The following day at noon, Natsuki and Mikoto were lunching at a table. Mai wasn't still there, as she was waiting for Tate, who had some things to deal with the Kendo club.

Natsuki's mind was away. Looking down, she was stirring her food with her chopsticks without talking. Mikoto was intrigued by such comportment. "You are not hungry?"

"Hum? Not really." She raised her head and saw Mikoto's eyes sparkling. "Err… Do you want my bento?"

The guzzler nodded and took the lunchbox. "Thanks!" Then, she asked to the still thinking girl, "Are you heartbroken?"

The question was put so casually that it startled Natsuki.

The blue-haired girl faltered uneasy, "Wh-what… Why…why did you say that?"

With the same easygoing manner, the younger girl appended, "You are very sad. You look like Mai when she is sad because of Tate. Do you love somebody?"

The gloomy girl clenched her teeth, _That _thing_ again! _"No! I love nobody! I can't love…" _I'm so weak…_

"Oh. You can't love? That's sad. Me, I love Mai's ramen!"

"I'm not talking about that _kind_ of love."

"Why should there be different kinds of love?" asked the naïve girl innocently.

"Huh?" Natsuki was surprised by this weird question.

"Love is good. Whatever you love makes you happy. So, why should there be different 'love'?"

The eighteen-old girl was slightly outraged by such a statement. "Mikoto! You can't compare someone with something as trivial as ramen!"

The younger girl appeared vexed. "What! Mai's ramen is not trivial! Mai's ramen is good, mmh! I love Mai's ramen."

Natsuki sensed that it was useless to reason the girl in love with Mai's food. "…Maybe." She jumped, taking in Mikoto's glance. "Err… sure! Anyways you can't compare 'loving' food with loving someone."

The curious girl was still questioning, "Why?"

"Well… How to explain that…" Natsuki tried to find her words. How could she put in plain words a thing that she herself didn't understand very well? "Hum… Food tastes good, ok. But when you love someone, I think that you feel weird. It's like you have butterflies in your stomach." She looked suspiciously at Mikoto whose eyes grew wider. "No. Not real butterflies! I mean you are very nervous. You feel light. It's like you are always on a cloud. All that is around you seems different. When you are with the person you love, there is nothing else."

Natsuki carried on her speech like she was talking to herself and not to Mikoto.

"When you are not with her, you feel like there is a void in your heart and nothing or nobody could fill this empty space. When she is away, it's like your heart is rent into two. When you see her crying, you feel powerless. You want to punch the lights out of whoever made her cry. And when you are the one who makes her sorrowful, you want to leave no stone unturned to erase your mistake…" She went out her reverie and recovered, "Err… I think it's like that to love someone…"

"Does Natsuki love somebody?"

Natsuki froze and was reddening. "Why do you think that?"

"You seem to know what it is to love. That's why I asked that." Mikoto was so insouciant, whereas the older girl was so uncomfortable.

"N-No! I don't know! I was just supposing."

Mikoto looked at her, surprised.

"No… I…"

_Is it that simple to love? No… It's impossible. 'Love' is ten times more complex… Moreover, if it proves to be true that means that…that I am really in love with…Shizuru… No… _

_Okay, so could you tell me how you can describe love so well? _

_What? _

_I mean for someone who doesn't love, you know it very well. _

_No! I was just put forward a supposition! _

_Some things cannot be imagined if they are not lived. _

_I'm just shrewd! And it may not be 'love'. _

_So what is it? _

_I…I don't know! But who cares? _

_Everybody thinks that you love her. You cannot deny it anymore. You have to make a choice! _

Her friends' words came to her mind…

_"Enjoy your life." _

_"It is always difficult to be far from the one you love." _

_"Does Natsuki love somebody?" _

_"It is wonderful to love." _

_"We are just mere observers." _

_"So…Will you continue lying to me and, above all, lying to yourself?" _

Natsuki's heart was beating in an irregular pace. She was stressing. She started to sweat. She slowly stood up and headed to the school entrance.

At this moment Mai came back, "Hey, Natsuki! Where are you going?"

"I…I have to do something."

"Oh, Natsuki. Are you okay? Your face is really pale."

"I…I'm fine." Natsuki quickened her pace.

"Hey! What are you doing? Don't you have a class right now?"

"Ah, yes but it's not very important…" She ran away.

"Natsuki!" yelled Mai to stop her friend, but it was too late.

* * *

Natsuki arrived at Fuuka University in the main building. The hallways were empty. No wonder, as the bell had already rang twenty minutes ago.

The biker-girl knew in which room Shizuru was and how to get in. Indeed, Shizuru made her visit that university in order to convince the young girl to pursue her studies. Besides, Natsuki had always wondered why Shizuru, who used to have the best mark in high school, chose this university. Granted it was the best in the area, but with such grades Shizuru could easily have gone to the best university of the country…

So, she entered by the back door and sought her friend in the hall. Since she saw her, she pulled the older girl by the sleeve. Luckily, she was at the edge of the row.

Before she could pronounce a word, Shizuru was outside the room. With an unusual irritated tone, she asked loudly, "Natsuki! What the hell are you doing?"

However, the Kyoto girl calmed down rapidly. What would the others students think if they saw her like that? She stated, "Did you not notice that I had a class? I know you are the ditching queen, although you should have known what a class means".

The blue-haired girl couldn't say if Shizuru was joking or making fun of her. Furthermore she wondered how it was possible to switch between so many facets so easily.

Noticing that Natsuki didn't intend to speak, the older girl continued her speech, "Ma, ma, Natsuki, I am very happy that you came to say 'Hello', nevertheless, you should talk. It is a little bit boring now".

The green-eyed girl firmly asserted, "Stop playing that game, Shizuru. I'm really fed up with it".

It was hard to keep one's temper in such conditions, even for Shizuru. She could almost feel her blood boiling in her entrails. "Ok, so could you tell me, please, why you came?"

Still firm, Natsuki answered calmly, "You know it very well".

"So do you have some revelations to say?" Exasperation could be heard in Shizuru's voice.

"Yes, I do."

The older girl felt a pain as her heart was cut into several pieces. She would cry or shout to show her fury. However, she was so depressed and she wanted to know Natsuki's reasons. "Natsuki, please tell me why you did that. I…I was always there for you. And now, you stab me in the back. Can you imagine how bad I'm feeling right now? Why did you lie to me? I could have understood if you had found a boyfriend, but lying… "

"Shizuru, I…"

The chestnut-girl didn't let Natsuki speak, "No, please don't try to clear yourself. At the beginning I thought it was only mere rumours. When I made his acquaintance, I wondered why he was so close to you and above all, why you let him be so familiar with you… Then you told me that you would go to the concert together. What should I think now?"

Natsuki couldn't answer. Her friend was right. Her behaviour left much to be desired. Yet she thought that Shizuru would never believe those rumours.

Shizuru carried on, "Even if it was difficult, I overcame it. I was holding out. I thought I was healed from you. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I noticed it when you said that you missed me. I felt really weird that day. I thought that you really meant it. I think I was wrong. If you really missed me, you should have done something. You should have prevented me from leaving. Or maybe it was true and you missed me only after three months of being far from me. This proves once again that I'm only a mere friend for you.  
At a pinch, I can understand that you don't love me like I wish. However, why do you act like you do? Why do you make me believe that I have a chance? Why do you make me hope?"

Natsuki's eyes grew wider. She didn't understand her friend's fallacy.

The mistaking girl didn't interrupt her speech, "During the Festival, you said that you couldn't have the feelings I desired for you to have. I trusted in you. I thought it was necessary to give you time. And then, I resigned myself to let you go.  
Nevertheless, I didn't understand how you could date Kikuchi. That's why, when you said that you missed me, I understood that you have been lying to me from the beginning. As a matter of fact, saying that you weren't able to love me was only a lie. The reason was you DON'T love me… You said that you loved me, tsk, what a lie". She paused. "So…Natsuki…Leave me alone, now. Seeing you hurts me so much. I don't want to endure this any longer." She turned back.

"You don't love me anymore?" spilled Natsuki.

Shizuru turned again, "Are you trying to stop me?" She waited for her friend to answer but Natsuki merely shook her head. Shizuru appended, "Fine, but you have to know that however hard you try, you can't stop loving someone. When you'll be in love, you'll understand it". She headed to her classroom for the second time.

"Shizuru?" asked the blue-haired girl with a shaky voice.

The older girl stopped and faced Natsuki.

The younger girl trailed off, "Shizuru… I understand why you think I'm dating Kikuchi and…you have to know the truth…I…him…"

Shizuru was worried about her friend's revelation. Even if she was persuaded that Kikuchi and Natsuki were together, a small part of her heart was still hoping. Consequently those words wrung her heart.

"I don't like him. I don't love him! He is nice but that's all. He is my friend and will always be a mere friend."

Shizuru was unconvinced. She shouted, "How can I trust you? You duped me!"

"What you think! I don't love him. I never loved him since... My heart belongs to someone else…"

Shizuru was voiceless.

"Shizuru… You are wrong. It was true… I really can't have the feelings you wish I had. It's still true and I think I'll need a lot of time to finally return the 'love' you have for me."

Shizuru felt the pain in her heart, but she didn't show it.

Even if it was the case, Natsuki couldn't see it, since she was looking down. "Do you know why?"

With a weak tone, Shizuru answered, "No…"

"It's not because I don't love you. It's not your fault. It's mine. In fact, I am afraid." She paused. "…That's why, I can't love someone anymore."

Her vision started to grow dim as tears were accumulating in her emerald eyes.

"I loved my father, but he abandoned me. I loved my mother, but she died. Even if I know that my mother wanted to sell me to the Searrs foundation; I can't hate her. Everybody says that we need to love. But it aches. And I didn't want to suffer anymore. But today…it's different…"

Shizuru wiped the tears rolling down the face of her friend. "What has changed now?"

"I saw how much you love me. And if you can love me at such an extent, I think I can love you too. Maybe I'll be sad later, but I want to take this risk…for you."

Shizuru was divided between joy and worry. She didn't want to force her friend in loving her. "Natsuki…"

"But you have to know that I can't return the same sentiments you have for me. I mean that… All the things you did for my sake… I think…I'm not able to do the same.  
So… Please… Give me a little more time. I know that what I'm feeling is very strong, but I'm still afraid. Therefore, if you don't want to wait, I'll understand, although you should know that I'm doing my best. You didn't know it, but I was ready to go to Paris… Just to see you…"

Shizuru was startled. She didn't need to 'compel' Natsuki to love her… It wasn't necessary. Even if the younger girl couldn't admit it or couldn't see it, she was in love with her.

Natsuki raised her head. "Shizuru…I…" _I love you_. "I-I…"

Shizuru interrupted her friend, "It's okay Natsuki. I understand." She smiled. "I love you."

The shy student looked down and mumbled, "…Me too…"

The usually outwardly unaffected girl faintly reddened. Then, she approached dangerously close to Natsuki.

Her friend was looking at her suspiciously. "Oi…Shizuru… What are you trying to do?"

Shizuru looked straight in the apprehensive girl's eyes, and with a sensual voice she asked, "Isn't it obvious?"

Natsuki opened her eyes wider in panic. She stretched her hands out to stop Shizuru from coming nearer. Nonetheless, it was ineffective. The unstoppable girl grabbed her victim's hands and got closer. Her lips were at less than one centimetre from Natsuki's.

The high school girl felt woozy. Her heart was racing, her legs became weak and her breath was loud. She faltered, "Shi…zu…ru… N-No…I…"

The Kyoto girl controlled herself and furtively diverted her trajectory and placed a peck on Natsuki's right cheek. The latter was instantly as red as a tomato.

The older girl giggled, "Ara, ara, Natsuki. Would your head explode if I had done something else?"

The flushing girl got her breath back and she exclaimed, "Shizuru!"

The teaser didn't even feel sorry. _I got it Natsuki. I will not hasten you. I'll let you take your time because this time I'm sure… You love me. I'll never ever be doubtful about your feelings anymore. Maybe it'll take a long time, but heaven merits to be harshly earned, right? _

¤´¨)

(¸.·´

(¸.·¤**The End**¤

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..

..

..

... No, I'm kidding :p Sorry, but you'll have to bear me longer XD

**End of the first part. **

* * *

So, what do you think about this chapter?

Did you like it :)

I hope I didn't 'jump the shark' :p

The next chapter will be a 'fluff' chapter :)


	17. Money, money, money

**Author's notes**

Hi everybody! Thank you very much for your reviews :) I try to reply to each of you but I can't reply to the anonymous reviewers :p and I'm too shy to send each time a mail :s :p  
Anyways, thank you everybody :) I'm very very very glad :) (oups, maybe I shouldn't show so much happiness XD lol)

**And thank to my beta-reader, Sayosi ;)**

Edit: And I thank Hoppy-Chan whom corrected the remaining mistakes XD. It's not my beta-reader's fault, it's my own fault... So, sorry people XD**  
**

Here's the update! I hope you'll like this chapter as well :p

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 17.**

**十七 Money, money, money**

A normal Saturday morning at Natsuki's…

Shizuru knocked at the apartment door. "Natsuki?"

From her bedroom, Natsuki shouted, "Come in! It's open".

Shizuru came into the living room and put the envelope she was holding on the table.

Natsuki came out her room. "Hi Shizuru. You can make yourself some tea if you want."

Shizuru smiled. "Hello Natsuki. Oh, thank you." She headed to the kitchen and added, "Oh, by the way, I met the postman when coming. He had a letter for you. It is on the table".

Natsuki followed the gaze of the older girl. On the table there was a light blue envelope. She turned it to see the sender's name. In fact, she didn't need to, as she recognised the writing.

The girl reluctantly opened the letter, but carefully read what was written. It might be important since _he_ took the trouble to write her. Astonished, she exclaimed, "What! Oh no!"

"What happened? Is it bad news?" While speaking, the Kyoto girl sat down at the table.

"Well, my father…my father…" the sadly younger girl trailed off, as she couldn't speak.

Shizuru asked, worried, "What happened, Natsuki? Please tell me".

"My father… He has a problem… He…He…He won't be able to give me money for my expenses until one month from now", she said jumping in her friend's arms.

Shizuru sighed and retained herself from giggling. _Who could think that Natsuki was so materialistic? _She tapped Natsuki's head. "Ma, ma, Natsuki, why does it bother you so much?"

The materialistic girl was sobbing, "I…I…I counted on this money to buy another bike! I'll have to wait AGAIN!" She cried. "I spared a large part, but it isn't enough!"

"Oh." Shizuru paused. "But Natsuki, tell me… Did you not cash in your ticket to Paris?

Natsuki grumbled, "I couldn't since it was Kikuchi who gave it to me". She frowned. "He took it back." Then, she sat down in the chair in front of Shizuru.

The chestnut-haired girl was giggling inwardly. Her friend's reactions were so funny. "Thus, I think you will have to find a job, Natsuki."

This solution didn't enchant the other girl. "No way! Furthermore, you told me to stop ditching school…" She continued, self-confident, "…I can't do both."  
With an evil grin, she appended, "I'll have to make a choice". At that moment, she took a serious look and brandished her fist in the air. "And I have to survive in this society. So, I'll sacrifice my studies to have a job and have enough money to buy this thing, which is so precious to me. Plus, I will help the world with my ability to, err… Well, I don't know yet what I'm gifted in, but I'll find out. Two birds, one stone!" She looked proudly at her friend. _Also, what can you add to that?_

The older girl was amused to see her friend struggling in order to skip school. "It is well thought out, but…"

Natsuki took on a questioning look. _But?_

"…you can have a part-time job!" carried on Shizuru.

The lazy girl was agitated; Shizuru had found a fault in her plan. "What! That's too difficult!"

Without losing her serenity, the former Student Council President stated, "Tokiha-san can handle it."

"Yeah, but I'm not Mai. And what kind of part-job can I do? I have no idea."

"You can work with her at the Linden Baum! It will be perfect for you. Besides, you will meet other people so you will improve your social skills. It cannot hurt you…"

That remark made Natsuki flush. "Shizuru! I don't want to work as a waitress…"

"Why don't you? To be a waitress is…" The older girl stopped to think, _Natsuki…as a waitress…with a uniform…_

While smiling evilly, Shizuru was in her fantasies. Seeing that, Natsuki yelled immediately, "Shizuru! Stop that! Stop thinking such things like…"

Shizuru was waiting for Natsuki to answer. "Like?"

"Like… I don't want to tell, but you know!" The blue-haired girl crossed her arms over her chest.

With her hand on her mouth, Shizuru answered, "Oops, caught".

The blue haired-girl was still upset, that is why she thought of revenge. "Well, you know, I don't need to work."

"Dear Natsuki, I will not pay your expenses for your new motorbike." Shizuru grinned.

"You're wrong!" _That girl…_ "No, I mean that if I control my expenses and if I sell some of my stuff, I'll easily gather the necessary funds for a new bike. Moreover, I don't have to take the latest model…"

"Ara, ara, it seems to be a good idea but did Natsuki forget something?"

"Hum…what?"

"Well, Natsuki, your favourite hobby. Shall I remind you that?" The chestnut-haired girl winked.

_I knew it!_ With a false serious look, Natsuki slowly replied, "Well… I think… I will stop collecting lingerie… Thus, no more shopping… Together…"

The usually calm girl was hugely astounded. "What!"

Whereas the normally tempestuous girl was relieved. _Aah, it's so delectable to see her like that, shocked. Ah ah, Fujino, you have lost your mask! Without it you seem so…well…human…_ She smiled.

The tea drinker was slightly vexed. "Why do you smile? Do you think you have won?"

"You are not blind; I don't need to mention it." The playful girl chuckled.

Finally, the older girl tried to dismantle her friend's argumentation. "Ok, but what will happen if you run out of underwear?" _Hum… Natsuki without any underwear… _Shizuru harboured her devilish smile once again.

Noticing this, Natsuki scolded her, "Shizuru!"

However, the dreaming student didn't care. "I agree with you. This way, _it_ will be faster." She winked.

The innocent girl was clueless, "What? What will be faster...?" _Oi!_ "SHI-ZU-RU!"

**End of chapter 17**

* * *

**Bonus**

natsuki[.]fr[/]chap17VO[.]htm (remove the [])

If it doesn't work, the link is on the first page of my homepage and if you didn't understand (oh, yes, I know some people who didn't understand the 'joke'), I'll put the script here... later :)**  
**

* * *

So we finally know what happened to the tickets. And for those who ignored it Natsuki's father pays the child-rearing expenses of his daughter.

And don't forget to review :) I'm very curious to know how you find my 'fluff' chapter... My first attempt XD (but not the last, hehe)


	18. Forget about the past

**Author's notes**

**Edit 11/17/2006: I'm sorry but you'll have to wait (at least one week) for the next chapter -.-' I'm really busy... Sorry! **

Thank you everybody for your reviews :). And it's not the end of my fic, I want to write more XD... However, it may be the end of the 'fluff' chapters... I don't know... It depends. Are you ready to endure that? XD

Anyway, here's the update!

**And I don't forget to thank my beta-reader, Sayosi :)  
**

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 18.**

**十八 Forget about the past**

Tate, Mai, Mikoto, Chie, Aoi and Kikuchi were picnicking on the grass at school. Then, they saw a smiling Natsuki a few metres from there.

The red-haired girl was astonished. "Err… Is it Natsuki?"

Her boyfriend replied, "No! It's impossible. That person over there is smiling… She cannot be Kuga…"

"Wh-what is she doing?" asked the other boy.

Mai replied, amazed, "She is talking with…other students!"

"So… She cannot be Kuga…" stated Tate casually.

Mai scolded, "Yuuichi!"

"Oh oh. Kuga Natsuki in a peculiarly happy mood. This is definitely worth a photo." Suiting the action to the words, Chie took a photo of Natsuki with her cell phone.

"Oh, she's coming over!" exclaimed Aoi, pointing at Natsuki.

Natsuki harboured a big smile. "Hi everybody! Today is a great day, isn't it?" Her friends were looking at her with eyes wide open. "What? What's with you all?"

Concerned, Mai interrogated, "Err… Natsuki, are you okay?"

The always-suspicious girl frowned. "Yes, why do you ask?"

Understanding that it was useless to be more curious, the seventeen-year-old student gave up. "Oh… It's nothing."

"You didn't take your lunchbox?" queried Kikuchi.

The blue-haired girl nonchalantly answered, "No. I just came by to say that I can't stay with you. As we don't have anymore lectures today, I'll eat outside."

"Oh, oh. A date?" inquired Mai playfully

Aoi joined her hands together and shouted, "Cuute!"

Even if she was in a good mood, the green-eyed girl didn't like that kind of commentaries. "Nonsense! I-I just want to try another restaurant and…" She suspended her speech. She had noticed someone standing near a tree. "Err… I gotta go. See you."

Before her friend left, Mai asked Natsuki, "By the way, Natsuki, who are you going to this restaurant with?"

"Err… Why such a question?"

"I just wondered… Well, enjoy your time." Mai gave an intended smile.

The blue-haired young woman looked at her friend suspiciously, "Aa… Thanks." And she left.

* * *

Afterwards, she came towards Shizuru.

The latter took in the slight wrinkling of Natsuki's forehead. "Hi Natsuki. Do you have a problem?"

"Hi. No, it's nothing… They acted strangely today… They questioned me a lot. I don't understand why."

While they headed to the exit, the former Student Council President explained, "Ara, Natsuki, maybe is it because you seem really happy. It is normal, they are simply curious. You are their friend."

"Aa… Yes, friend…" She blew out a puff of air. "Is this justification suitable to forgive anything?"

The older student was laughing. "Mou… Who would have believed that the rebellious Natsuki would have so many friends? Moreover, some ones among the masculine tribe…" She chuckled.

"Hey, Shizuru! What do you mean?"

"Well… Tate and Kikuchi are your friends, aren't they?"

"Ah… Yes. I don't talk a lot with Tate, but Kikuchi is very nice." Before her friend could say something, she scolded, "And don't imagine stupid things! I've already told you that…"

The chestnut-haired girl interrupted her, "I got it, Natsuki, and I will not doubt your feelings anymore. I really am sorry for not having believed you".

The high-school student lowered her head and replied shyly, "No… It's okay, Shizuru".

Shizuru smiled. _She is so adorable._ "However… I must confess that I should worry. See, he is cute." Tapping her lips with her index, she added, "Hum… Maybe if I get to know him, I will…"

The blue-haired girl exclaimed, "Hey, Shizuru!"

With a concupiscent gaze, Shizuru enquired, "Jealous?"

The coy teenager groused, "No, of course. What do you think!"

The crimson-eyed girl chuckled.

Natsuki carried on, "The worst is I'm sure that you could get along with him".

"Really?" queried Shizuru, interested.

"Yeah, you have the same stupid hobbies. In fact, he's almost like you… Except that he doesn't have your special Kansai accent." She lovingly put out her tongue.

The other girl pretended to be offended. "Mou… Is my accent the only thing that Natsuki finds special in me?"

Natsuki gave tit for tat, "Yes, of course. What else could it be?" She winked.

At that remark, Shizuru slightly blushed.

* * *

In the meantime, the others students were still talking.

All of a sudden, Chie stood up and said, "I have to go too. I have some news to spread!"

Aoi followed her and screamed, "I'll come with you! Kuga-san and her date! It's so sweet!"

"Hey! Wait a minute!" tried Mai, though it was too late. The two gossipy girls would announce the big scoop. She complained, "There's nothing to get excited about…"

"I have to admit that they are right. Kuga's been acting strangely recently", put Yuuichi.

Kikuchi sighed in relief. "Wow… So… She finally did it…"

Mai was surprised. "Huh? What do you mean?"

The boy explained, "Well… I think that she finally realised her true feelings towards…" He paused. "Hum… I suppose I should not talk about this. It concerns her personal life."

"Towards Fujino-san, am I right?" continued Mai.

"Err… Yes! How did you learn about that?"

"We had a small discussion about this", asserted Mai.

Mikoto shook her head. "I don't understand these people who are not able to face their feelings." She sighed and resumed her lunch.

The dark-haired boy was agape. "You too? Wow, this girl needed so much help!"

The seventeen-year-old student confirmed, "For sure. Anyways, the results are finally here".

Tate looked absently at the sky and queried, "Who could've imagined that Kuga would fall in love with Fujino-san?"

With a somewhat expert look, Kikuchi answered, "You should understand that the heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of".

"Ah…"

Mai enquired, "So, Kikuchi-san, you are the other one who helped Natsuki to find what she wanted. I knew there was someone else but I couldn't imagine it was you. I thought that… Well… You were in love with Natsuki". She smirked.

Morosely, the boy acquiesced, "Yes, it is true and I tried... However, she was so depressed and nothing, or rather nobody, could alleviate her sorrow… Nobody except Fujino-san… I cannot compete with that." He smiled. "We do not have, well, the same…assets…"

They all laughed.

"You interposed between Fujino and her Kuga and you're still alive?" Suddenly bursted a voice from nowhere.

The redhead addressed the unexpected visitor, "Nao-chan… What are you doing here?"

The pink-haired girl spoke with a fairly amused tone, "I heard your interesting conversation and I thought I should participate".

Kikuchi was puzzled by the intruder's first statement. "Err… What do you mean?"

"I mean that you are very lucky to be still alive. Anyone who tries to intervene between the psycho and her protégée risks one's life. I speak from experience…" She shook her hand. "Ouh… Scary…"

Mai defended the former President. "Are you alluding to the Festival? She was controlled by Kokuyou no Kimi! You cannot blame her!"

Out of the blue, the playful girl lost her smile. She looked askance at the red-haired student. "You weren't there when it happened… You don't know what she did… She…"

Mai took on a serious face and cut-off the girl. "Yuuki-san, we all made mistakes during that time. Don't bring back bad memories… It's time to draw a line on this story."

Understanding nothing of what was happening in front of him, Kikuchi questioned Tate aside, "What are they talking about?"

The other student scratched his head, awkward. He simpered, "Err… It's too complicated. You shouldn't pay attention to it, anyways, it's the past now". Seeing the girls who glared at each other, he scolded, "Oh, girls! Calm down. It's not the time to talk about the past, ok?"

Nao shrugged. "Oh, ok. I just wanted to warn him." she hissed, and quickly left. "Geez… How ungrateful you are…"

For one minute, Kikuchi was processing the rebellious girl's words. Next, he hailed her, "Hey, please wait!"

Without slackening her pace, the pink-haired cold girl turned her head to the speaker. "What do you want?"

Walking next to the girl, the boy pried almost pleading, "Could you please tell me what Fujino-san did?"

She stopped. "Why do you ask that?"

"I'm just curious." _If Fujino-san can be that dangerous we have to do something. _

Nao shrugged. "Well… I confess I made some mistakes in the past but, don't repeat it to the others, she broke up an entire organisation. I don't know exactly what she did, but it won't surprise me if I learn that she killed several people."

_What!_ "What you say is so horrible! An entire organisation? Which one?"

"They were called the First District, but it doesn't exist anymore. You can find out why…"

Kikuchi repeated, utterly puzzled, "The…The First District?"

"Yes. But Miss Goody two-shoes thinks that is the past and everybody forgave Miss I-give-a-big-smile-to-erase-everything-as-if-nothing-happened…" She mockingly imitated the posture Shizuru took before the final battle. "I'll never forget what she did… Pff, bunch of retards…" She left Kikuchi, whom was deep in his thoughts.

* * *

After each one went into their respective residence to put on an appropriate outfit, Natsuki and Shizuru were finally lunching at the restaurant together.

At length, the chestnut girl put the question that titillated her mind since Natsuki demanded to eat in this kind of spot, "So, why did you absolutely want to go to this place? I did not know that my Natsuki liked upper-class restaurants".

Unpredictably, the touchy girl took that the right way. "Hey! I'm full of surprises!"

"I have no doubt about it." Shizuru harboured her angelic smile, which earned her a small blush from Natsuki. "Could you finally explain me the reason of our coming here?"

The blue-haired girl tried to explain herself and to give a 'valid' answer, "B-Because…Because I am aware that… in France you probably used to go to the most refined restaurants, an-and that's all…" _I want to show you how skilled I am. You're not the only one who can be proud of distinguishing each fork. _

A dozen of minutes later after the waiter had listened to their order, the boasting girl cleared her throat and appended, "And with that, I would like a bottle of wine. Red, please".

Without consideration to the girl's age, the waiter did his job as usual. "Yes of course, which one?"

"Well… I think with this meal, a Bordeaux would be the most appropriate wine. Do you agree with me, Shizuru?"

"Ara ara, Natsuki. You seem to be well informed."

Natsuki inwardly smiled. _Heh heh… _She was really proud of herself. However, even if she remembered which wine she should take, she didn't remember the whole lesson… Unfortunately for her…

Happy to be faced with connoisseurs, the server took his job very seriously. "And which one?"

"Sorry?" The proud girl looked at the man with perplexity. She didn't expect that question.

The man clarified, "Which kind of Bordeaux do you want? We have a lot of appellations."

"Aa…" The heart of the girl was accelerating. She found that the temperature had suddenly increased. She wished to find a solution, but how? She couldn't lose face in front of Shizuru. _Think, Natsuki, think. You have to find something. It's… It's… Ah!_ "Err… I would like a… Pauillac?"

The waiter nodded. "Ah. Wise choice…"

The girl sighed in relief but…

The employee continued, "Which château?"

"Haah!" Natsuki was dumbfounded. She was sweating. She didn't have the least idea of what a_ château_ could be. As soon as she got her breath back, she inquired hesitantly, "Err… Is it that important?"

The server scanned her with sternness. Having such a question was like insulting his job.

The poor teenager glanced at Shizuru to get some help but the other girl was looking at her curiously. Natsuki understood that she was alone and she had to face the problem without any external help. "Err… A…" _Is it an interrogation? Why is it so complicated to order a bottle of wine? _She attempted to remember Kikuchi's lectures, though it was not easy. _It begins by a 'L' but… I can't remember… He told me that this one is good, although a little expensive…_

In the end, she strove for a name she thought she heard, "A… A château Lafite, please"

The man's eyes grew wider, "Sorry? Are you really sure you want a château Lafite Rothschild?"

The blue-haired girl smirked._ I have heard this name before. It must be this one. _

This time Shizuru intervened, "Natsuki, are you sure of your choice?"

_So I was right. This _château_ name actually exists. Ah ha, Shizuru. You never thought I was capable of knowing that. _And with a very confident behaviour, she answered, "Yes, of course".

The crimson-eyed girl was losing track, "Are you informed of the price of this?"

"Yes. It's a little expensive but it's not every day that we go to a posh restaurant," casually replied the self-confident girl.

Shizuru wasn't sure if Natsuki was losing her mind or if she suddenly became billionaire. Anyways, it was impolite to let the server wait. She took her trademark smile and addressed him, "Please excuse us. We have to talk".

The waiter left while shaking his head and looking up.

The heedless girl blamed her friend, "Hey, Shizuru! What are you doing?"

Shizuru replied without losing her temper, "Natsuki, I am really happy that we are here together. However, I think that we could reserve a Château Lafite for a more special occasion".

"What do you mean?" Natsuki was losing track.

"How much do you believe a bottle of Château Lafite costs?"

"Err… Well… About 5,000 yen… But I have the money…"

"Natsuki, you can multiply it by ten."

"What!"

"I don't know which wine you are thinking about, but a bottle of Château Lafite-Rothschild, Premier Grand Cru Classé of the Pauillac appellation, Millesime 2001 costs about 50,000 yen. And this Millesime is one of the less expensive."

"Oh." Deception could be observed in her emerald eyes.

Shizuru smiled in sympathy.

Natsuki lowered her head and muttered, "I'm stupid".

The older girl refuted, concerned, "No! Why do you feel that?"

"I wanted to impress you with my new skills, but it's a total failure." She looked away.

"Ara ara. I am very glad that my Natsuki puts so much effort into this, but I don't understand why she wants to do such a thing."

Natsuki hardly spoke. Indeed, it was still difficult for her to express her feelings. "Because…I know we don't have the same centres of interests…so…I-I'm afraid… Maybe…one time…you'll be weary of me… That's why I thought that if I ended up in liking what you like… And if I show you that I care about it, maybe…"

Shizuru's eyes were washing with tears.

The high-school girl was worried by her friend's behaviour. "Oi… Shizuru… Are you okay?"

The moved student raised a smile. "I'm happy… Natsuki… You are so lovely." She took the hand of Natsuki, which was lying on the table.

The lovely girl was embarrassed. She looked around the restaurant. "Oi… Shizuru. We are not alone here…"

Shizuru looked Natsuki in the eye. "Natsuki, I have already said it to you, but it seems you didn't understand. Natsuki, whatever you will do, whatever will happen, however hard I can try, I will never stop loving you. Even if it can be painful, my love for you will be everlasting… Natsuki, I love you."

Natsuki flushed and whispered, "I… Me too…"

The other girl expressed tenderness. A few seconds later she added, "Moreover, are you trying to drink alcohol? Do you know that we are not old enough? Ara ara… I did not know that my Natsuki had a propensity to drink".

The 'alcoholic' frowned. "Shizuru!"

**End of chapter 18 **

* * *

**Bonus**

natsuki[.]fr[/]chap18VO[.]htm

If it doesn't work, the link is on the first page of my homepage

* * *

In fact, Kikuchi had referred to the château Lynch. He talked about the château Lafite only because it was one of the most expensive wines.

The legal age in Japan to drink alcohol is 20

Don't forget to review ;) (and don't forget to tell me how you found the small bonus :p)


	19. Do I dream

**Author's notes**

Hi everybody! Thank you for your reviews :) . I really am sorry for the delay. I was very busy and I don't have internet at home anymore :/...

But here is the next chapter :D

I also thank jpeg, Kumiko and Kurohime from the forum Mai HiME France whom helped me with this chapter XD It was very tough to write it -.-

**And I don't forget to thank my beta-reader, Sayosi ;)**

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 19.**

**一九 Do I dream…**

Nobody would deny it; Natsuki and Shizuru were entirely different. On one hand, there was a rebellious girl, who preferred to act before talking, and on the other hand a traditionalistic girl, whose decisions were always calculated. One liked western cooking and was addicted to mayonnaise, whereas the other liked Japanese food and was a fervent tea drinker. However, so weird it might seem, they had a lot of common points. One of them was the way they used to destabilise their enemies: the gaze.

While Natsuki would throw her most dreadful death-glare, Shizuru would use a softer approach; she would take on her most seductive look. That method _never_ failed, especially on Natsuki. The chestnut-haired girl had the proof of it that Saturday afternoon…

They were at Shizuru's, drinking some tea…

Graceful as ever, Shizuru raised her cup, took a sip of that wonderful brewage and placed the cup at its initial place. She did that with the same dexterity and without any wrong moves.

In front of her, Natsuki was not as graceful as her friend was. Nonetheless, several years of practise helped her. Indeed, she was not as skilled as Shizuru, but an external observer could notice that the girl was rather easy with the tea drinking.

The Kyoto girl looked at her friend, amused. She was pleased to see her lover put so much diligence in the task. For this reason she believed that it was the best moment to tease her. She delicately put her cup down. Then, she laid her elbows on the table and rested her head in her palms. After that, she looked at Natsuki with velvety eyes.

The latter didn't notice her friend's game right away, as she was absorbed in her tea drinking task. When she raised her head and suddenly met two attractive crimson eyes, her body warmth increased instantly. She couldn't understand why and what was happening. Moreover, she couldn't detach her eyes from that glare. It was like she was hypnotised. Her breath was loud. Her heart was accelerating. And on top of it, she could feel the heat in her cheeks and even in her whole face. It was such a strange sensation. Not unpleasant and even very enjoyable, but also very disconcerting.

She faltered, "Shi-Shizuru… Wha-what are you doing?"

Without deflecting her eyes from Natsuki's, the devilish girl casually answered, "I am only admiring my Natsuki". Then she gave an angelic smile to finish off the 'foe'.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back. Natsuki felt a sudden rise of her inward heat. She thought that her head would explode. Under the emotion, she let her cup fall on the ground.

Shizuru inwardly laughed. She reached her goal, "Ara ara, Natsuki. You are very clumsy. Observe how to properly drink tea". Suiting the actions to the words, she sipped her favourite brewage with refinement and adroitness.

"You're wrong! It's only because…because…" claimed the clumsy girl. Nevertheless, she couldn't admit that she was affected by Shizuru's seductive game. _What will she think if I say that? That…that I imagined… _

However, she didn't want to give up. Shizuru was making fun of her and she couldn't forgive that. "Ok! So you think you are more habile than me? All right! I'll show you that I am as habile as you and even more."

She pulled Shizuru by the arm and headed out of the apartment to Natsuki's waiting bike. Ah yes, Natsuki had finally bought a new bike. A Suzuki Bandit that was a second hand machine, but it was enough for the biker; she didn't want to take the bus anymore.

* * *

Thus, the two young women rode to the arcade.

Natsuki parked her bike and put a foot on the ground. "Shizuru. It's here."

"Hum… Already? I am so content here. Natsuki's back is very comfortable." And she leaned more on her friend's back.

The improvised pillow slightly blushed. "Oi, Shizuru."

They entered the room in which there were a lot of video games and several crane games. One of them was highlighted with numerous neon signs. Pointing at the machine, Natsuki proudly announced, "Here is the way how I will show you that I am more habile than you!"

"Ara ara, I am so eager to see Natsuki's skills", said Shizuru with an amused tone.

Natsuki didn't even blush. She knew that Shizuru was making fun on her. "Yeah… You'll see how fast I can get a plushie. Which one do you want?"

"Oh! I can choose? That is so nice of you."

Ten minutes and five hundred yen later, the plushie was finally Shizuru's.

Natsuki held out the toy to Shizuru while looking off to the side. She didn't want her friend to notice the redness of her cheeks. "Here is it."

Acting like a child, Shizuru grabbed the animal and pressed it over her chest. "Oh, Natsuki! It is so cute!"

The crane game terror proudly crossed her arms and with a proud face. She ordered, "Now, it's your turn!"

The crimson-eyed girl knitted her brow a little. "Sorry?"

"You heard me! Show me your dexterity, grace and skill." Saying those words, Natsuki was friendly laughing at Shizuru.

A half hour later, Shizuru didn't succeed in getting even one object.

At the beginning, Natsuki was enjoying seeing a powerless Shizuru, who didn't achieve doing such a thing, but at length, she was getting fed up and didn't want to spend her afternoon here. "C'mon, Shizuru! It's not that complicated! You put the claw above the plushie and you press the button."

"But it is too complicated for me. I don't have Natsuki's technique… Maybe if my Natsuki would show me how to…" requested the usually accomplished teenager with a timid tone.

The blue-haired girl grumbled, "Ok!" And she positioned herself near Shizuru. "Look and listen! You take the joystick and you push like that"

With the same naïve attitude, the crimson-eyed girl expressed, "I don't understand. Could you show me, please?"

Natsuki grunted and placed herself behind Shizuru. She held her friend's hand and put it on the joystick and explained, "Like that. And then you…"

She stopped. Obviously, Shizuru wasn't listening to her, as her hand was not responding.

She turned her head to the other girl and was surprised by the proximity between them.

She didn't notice that her face was at less than ten centimetres from Shizuru's.

That latter was harbouring her evil smile, but that smile suddenly changed.

They were staring at each other. Time abruptly stopped. Natsuki felt weird. Shizuru was deeply blushing and it was something she rarely saw.

Although she reached her objective, Shizuru was uneasy. Indeed, she didn't think to earn so much. "Na…Natsuki."

Natsuki took fright and moved back. "…I-I… See! You…you are not as skilled as me so…"

Shizuru stayed silent. She looked sad, disappointed. The chestnut-haired girl was sad because once again she had the proof that Natsuki was still afraid. Afraid of love or afraid of being loved… The younger girl seemed to fear any contact with Shizuru. The Kyoto girl knew that she shouldn't losing hope. However, it was hard. _Very hard. I don't know how long I will hold out… _

As for Natsuki, she felt really uncomfortable. Her heart was racing. However, seeing her friend like that, lowering her head, completely in low spirits, gave her heartache. She felt guilty for having reacted that way. She didn't intend to behave so violently as if she feared Shizuru's contact. She didn't know why she was frightened. She was still afraid… _But I don't know why… _

Nonetheless, she knew that she had to say something…anything to loosen the atmosphere. "So… I…I proved you that…that…that I was as skilled as you and…and even more…"

Several seconds passed, which seemed an eternity to Natsuki. Shizuru was speechless and Natsuki started to worry. "Shizuru…"

Finally, the honey-haired girl raised her head and faintly smiled. "Ara ara, Natsuki. Crane game is not relevant. It shows that you have some kind of dexterity, but it is not enough. Moreover, you can't only count on this skill to be a social success, or, for example, to be a good wife." She winked.

Once again, the older girl had to take it upon herself. Each time she was sad, each time that something bothered her, she had to hide her displeasure and to appear as cheerful as possible. However, being with Natsuki was easier. Indeed, teasing her friend was the perfect medicine to appease her pain.

The 'Shizuru's drug' took offence. "What! And what are those things? Are you talking about housework and all the rest of such things? As if only the women have to do that!" She crossed her arms over her chest and turned away. Without Shizuru's knowledge, she was faintly smiling. _I prefer you like that. Taunt me if you want, but this smile mustn't leave your face anymore._

With her hand on her mouth, Shizuru chuckled slightly. She always enjoyed her Natsuki pouting like a baby whose whim was rejected.

Even if it was pleasant to hear a laughing Shizuru, the 'baby' cared for her pride. She turned again and, pointing Shizuru with her index, she claimed, "Anyways, I'll show you how talented I can be. Next Friday, be at my house at eight o'clock. I'll cook diner."

The university student didn't miss the opportunity to taunt her. "Natsuki, I know that you are vexed, but it is not a reason to punish me."

The cooking disaster frowned. She opened the mouth but she didn't say anything. She didn't know why she had said that. By far, she succeeded in cooking her birthday cake… Well, with a lot of difficulties, although it was easy to make. However, it was edible and even tasty. Nonetheless, cooking a whole meal was no mean feat._ I must ask Mai for help._

Shizuru was waiting for an answer, which didn't come. _Maybe I was too harsh… Mou, Natsuki, you are so oversensitive._

* * *

The girls finally came back to the parked bike. Natsuki positioned herself and waited for Shizuru to sit down. The Kyoto girl shyly placed her hands around the biker's waist. She feared to cause a rejection from her friend like she did a moment ago.

Nevertheless, Natsuki grimaced. "Hold tight."

Shizuru's eyes grew a little wider. She raised a smile and leaned on Natsuki's back, resting her head on her friend's shoulder blades. "As Natsuki's wishes…"

Natsuki slightly jumped. "Ha! That's not…" _No… I'm not a pervert… It's…It's only for her security… Wha-what would happen if she falls…? _

And Natsuki returned to Shizuru's room to drop her friend off.

* * *

Henceforth, they were in front of Shizuru's apartment. Standing, the crimson-eyed girl was waiting for Natsuki to get off the bike. Nevertheless, the latter was still on the bike, looking at the gauge with a worried look. "What is wrong?"

The other girl raised her head. "Oh… It's nothing… My bike uses too much petrol… I don't know exactly what the problem comes from. Maybe the carburettor..."

"Oh." The scholar who normally knew anything was fairly astonished. She smirked. "Err… What is it?"

"You know…" started Natsuki.

As a result, she explained to Shizuru all those things… How an engine worked, what a carburettor was and why it was very important.

Shizuru knew nothing of that. Therefore, she was listening very carefully. Although she would never use such knowledge, she was fascinated by Natsuki's wisdom. She never realised how good at explaining Natsuki could be. In fact, most of the time, Natsuki was the one who asked questions or the one who didn't understand what Shizuru was talking about. This time, the ignorant one was Shizuru.

The student didn't felt vexed or annoyed, as she was proud of _her_ Natsuki. "Oh, Natsuki. I did not know of all these things. It is very interesting."

The bike expert pursed her lips. "Yeah… But totally useless… And it has nothing to do with housework…"

Assuming that she was a little ruthless towards Natsuki a few times before, Shizuru thought that she should be nicer… Consequently, she took the decision to flatter Natsuki's ego a little… "No, it can be useful. It is not less important than any one topic. Moreover, you are very skilled. Look at how you already mastered this new bike."

"It's not that complicated", replied Natsuki with the same tone.

Shizuru raised her brow. "Really? I think if I were to try, I would not be as talented as you…"

The high-school girl was a little upset. She didn't understand her friend's behaviour. "Are you joking? I know very well that you don't care! Furthermore, you have a car, remember?"

The dissembler made pretence of amazement. "Oh. You are right. I forgot about that."

Natsuki looked askance at her friend.

"Well, ok. However, I think that driving a car is easier than riding a bike…" admitted Shizuru.

Natsuki's offended face was substituted by an interested one. "Really?"

The older girl became guarded. "Err… Yes…"

Natsuki appeared innocent. "I never thought of driving a car before…"

Nevertheless, Shizuru was not a dupe. "Don't even think about it…"

"What do you mean?" queried the biker with an angelic smile.

With a firm manner and a serious expression, Shizuru stated, "Natsuki, be aware that I will never let you drive my car…"

And then… Natsuki decided to use one of her secret weapons. The one she never used… Or rarely used… The weapon she used only against Shizuru… The puppy eyes attack…

So, she sadly looked down… However, Shizuru wasn't stupid and she clearly saw through her strategy. "Do you believe that you will succeed in moving me?"

Natsuki didn't listen to her friend. She wanted to drive her car and she _had to_ do that. That's why she slowly and shyly raised her head. And with misted eyes, she fixed Shizuru's eyes touchingly.

Shizuru was considerably disconcerted. "No, Na…"

Seeing that her strategy worked well, Natsuki didn't stop and with the same puppy eyes, she was staring at Shizuru.

Finally, the affected girl gave up. She sighed, "Well… Ok… I have to believe that I can never turn you down…"

The comedian couldn't contain her joy. "Yeah!"

Shizuru was both happy and a little upset. It was very pleasant to see Natsuki joyful like that, but the always perfect girl lost and she didn't like to be manipulated. On top of that, Natsuki didn't stop boasting. That's why she decided to destabilise Natsuki, or maybe it was only because she adored teasing her girlfriend "Ma, ma… I admit this time you impressed me…"

Natsuki grinned like a child whose trick was successful.

The older girl continued, "However, you must know that it was not that complicated…"

This time, Natsuki curiously examined her friend.

"…as I can't refuse anything to my Natsuki… It might be because… I love you so much…" appended Shizuru with an angelic smile. _Nobody can succeed in a battle of wits with me. Not even you, dear Natsuki._

The high-school girl instantly blushed. "I… Me too, I… I…"

"Yes?" inquired the other girl.

The blue-haired girl carried on, "Shizuru, I…" Nonetheless, she didn't succeed in saying what she wanted. She grumbled. "Hum… Nothing…"

* * *

That night in her room, Natsuki couldn't sleep since she was deep in her thoughts.

_Dammit! Why can't I say that to her anymore? I have already said it twice! _

_Who are you kidding? The first time you said that it was as a friend, and the second one was easy since you knew that you would die. "Oh, I love you. Oh, what a pity, we won't be able to live our love together… Farewell, goodbye!" You're a wimp, yeah! And the reason why you can't declare your love today is only because you know that this time you'll have to assume the consequences. _

_But people shouldn't say "I love you" so easily. _

_Why? What if they really mean it? They are allowed to say this. Or maybe you don't love Shizuru enough to say it to her. _

_No! I love her… I do love her. But if I confess it and…and if something happened to her, I would not bear it… On the other hand, if I don't tell her…_

That's why she made up her mind to call Shizuru… But generally at three in the morning, people slept…

The tone rang three times before someone picked up. To Natsuki's surprise, she was not greeted by an elegant and soft voice, but a sleepy and angry one.

"What?"

Natsuki was so startled that she wondered if it was really Shizuru on the other side of the line. "Huh? Shizuru?"

Shizuru's voice became gentler, but it was still tired. "Ah. Natsuki. I'm happy that you called, but I'm really tired. See you tomorrow. Bye", muttered Shizuru without doing any break.

"I lo…" started Natsuki but it was too late, for her ears were soon greeted with a dial tone.

Natsuki fell from the clouds. It was unbelievable. _She hung up on me! Shizuru? How can it be possible?_

The teenager was both frustrated and surprised. She couldn't make her declaration but she found the situation funny. She was imagining Shizuru's look when she picked up. She wondered where the so perfect girl, with her manners and refinement, was and why that girl was replaced by a rough, slightly irascible person.

Natsuki couldn't refrain herself from laughing. _Ok… Maybe it wasn't the perfect moment…. Anyways, I won't give up… I'll try again._

It just went to show that at three o'clock of the morning, everybody was the same…

**End of chapter 19  
**

* * *

**Bonus**

natsuki[.]fr[/]chap19VO[.]htm**  
**

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter :) I don't know when I'll have the time to do the next chapter... But I'll write it as soon as possible :)  
And please tell me what you think about the omake :p

I have a question... Do you want my fanfic to end? Or do you want more chapters:p However if there are more chapters you have to expect good and bad surprises :p Are you ready for this? XD


	20. Or is this real? Part 1

**Author's notes**

°comes in a titanium armor° Hi everybody! First of all, I would like to sincerely completely, totally apologize for not having updated. Please don't kill me XD. I'm sorry for not having replied to your reviews. That's why, I'll do it here at the end of this chapter if you don't mind.

**To everybody**:Thank you very much for your reviews. Once again, I would like to apologize for the delay. I can't promise that I'll update regularly since I'm really really busy :S But I will never abandon this story. I don't know how much time I will need, but I'll complete it. (I hope before the end of the year XD)  
And for the happy-end... Well, I can't tell you for the moment. I know how it will end, but I don't want to spoil.

I would also like to thank **Kumiko **from the french forum Mai-HiME whom I bothered a lot with this chapter XD

And of course, I don't forget to thank my beta-reader, **Sayosi **;)

Here's the update! It's the first part of the chapter 20. I wanted to complete it before posting but I was told it was better this way ;) I hope you will enjoy it.

**Legend:**  
_Thoughts_

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Itadakimasu:** What you say before starting a meal. Literally means "I humbly receive". I couldn't really replace this with "enjoy your meal".

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 20  
**

**二〇 ...Or is this real? part 1.  
**

On Thursday morning, when Natsuki got up, she didn't realise what the day was. That's why she was really surprised when she read what was written on her calendar on Friday.

_"8 o'clock cook dinner… for Shizuru" Oh my god! That's tomorrow… _"And I don't have…"

"…I don't have the least idea of what I will cook…" explained the blue-haired girl to her schoolmate during the lunch break.

The other student raised a big mocking smile and innocently teased Natsuki. "Be realistic, you don't have even the least idea of what you CAN cook..."

However the girl didn't take notice of what her friend was saying. "It can't be that complex… I can find something easy to cook…"

"Well, maybe instant ramen but I doubt that Fujino-san will appreciate them…"

"…Ok, Shizuru thinks I'm not able to prepare a good dinner…"

"Well, you're not…"

This time, she looked askance at Kikuchi. "Help me instead of making fun of me! I'm in a critical situation… It's already noon and I have no idea for tomorrow…"

The boy smirked. "Well… Why did you propose such a thing if you…"

The girl got ready to throw her death glare, which immediately calmed Kikuchi down.

He blurted out, "Maybe you can order from a caterer or an upper class restaurant…!"

The girl sighed. "To my knowledge, she already knows all of these places. She will inevitably recognise the dishes."

"Oh…" He paused. "So, I think the only way is to cook it yourself."

Natsuki made faces at the boy.

"Maybe you can ask for some help."

"I thought about it, but… I don't think it'll be fair…"

Kikuchi laughed. "But sending your girlfriend to hospital is not better!"

"Yes, yes, I know…"

"So… Who will be the one you will ask for help?"

* * *

"What! What did you do?" shouted a blue-eyed girl, throwing up her arms.

"But you told me to put that into the water…"

"Yeah! But I said bubbling water! It was too early, you should have waited!"

"Wait? Again! I hate waiting!" shouted Natsuki.

"Maybe, but you have to wait for the water to boil…"

"I am the one who boils…with impatience…" muttered the irascible girl.

Three hours had passed… Natsuki was at Mai's dormitory to learn cooking.

At the beginning, Mai was delighted, especially when she heard that Natsuki wanted to impress the former President. However, she rapidly became disillusioned. Natsuki was too impatient; she was really unbearable with the result that Mai, who usually possessed an Olympian calm, lost her nerves.

Anyway, she could understand that her friend was under pressure since the dinner was tomorrow. That was why she took a large breath and explained the methods once again.

* * *

After one hour of preparation, the meal was finally done.

"Do you want to taste?" inquired Natsuki with a sceptical look.

"No way!" immediately exclaimed the red-haired girl. "Err… I mean…"

On the other side of the room, Mikoto was questioning herself. Since the end of the lectures, Mai and Natsuki were in the kitchen. Okay. But now, it was dinnertime and Mai still didn't inform her if food was ready or not.

So it was a little sleepy girl, yeah, she took a nap just before, who came into the kitchen. "Mai! Food is ready?"

The addressed girl smirked. "Err… No, sorry, Mikoto…"

This answer almost made the girl cry. She was starving and such neglect couldn't appease her sadness.

Meanwhile, Natsuki raised an unusual sadistic smile… "But if you are really hungry…"

Mai immediately rebuked the cruel girl, "Natsuki!"

"Hey! She's starving; I just want to be helpful", simply stated the oldest girl with a semblance of consideration. Then she turned to the other girl. "Right, Mikoto?"

However, Mikoto's guardian didn't like such behaviour from Natsuki. "Natsuki…"

The green-eyed girl folded. "Okay, okay. I was kidding. I'll eat it."

With a large gesture, she directed the spoon to her mouth. Though, before she opened her mouth, an impatient Mikoto interrupted her.

The restive student claimed, "Hey! And me! I'm hungry! Why can't I eat?"

Mai tried to reason the girl. "Mikoto, I don't think it's a good idea. It might be harmful."

The cooking disaster took offence. "Hey! What do you mean? My food can't be that dangerous!"

"Well… Now that you mentioned it… You only took good and tasty ingredients… So… I don't think it can be so bad…" hesitated Mai. She addressed Mikoto, "Mikoto, are you sure you want to try Natsuki's food?"

"Err..." The girl took a resolute look and nodded. "Yes!"

Thus, Mikoto opened her mouth wide and took a bite of the culinary masterpiece.

A few minutes later, her face took a full range of colours, from purple to green.

Twenty-five seconds later, Mikoto collapsed on the floor.

Mai barked at Natsuki. "You killed her!"

The eighteen-year old young woman went on the defensive. "Are you crazy? It's not my fault! You should have supervised what I was doing!" She paused. "And, don't over exaggerate things! She's not dead!" protested Natsuki while pointing at the lying corpse.

The poor girl slowly regained consciousness. "Mai… What…what was that…?"

"Oh sorry, Mikoto. I shouldn't have let you taste it."

"I have to try again!" shouted Natsuki while throwing in the trash what she prepared before.

They did several attempts. Even if the first shot was far from a success, Mikoto became their official taster.

The poor black-haired girl became more and more reluctant. Nonetheless, she was really hungry and she rapidly understood that the faster Natsuki succeeded, the earlier she would be able to eat Mai's food. Plus, maybe Natsuki would end up cooking something great. Nobody could fail that often.

That's why however suspicious she might have become, she kept tasting what her friend cooked. Or maybe it was the call of hunger only.

After three more hours spent at cooking, Natsuki lost her patience, "I'm fed up. If this time isn't good, I'll give up."

"Come on, Natsuki. I'm sure you'll succeed"

"Ok, we'll see! Mikoto, taste this!"

The youngest girl looked at the spoon presented to her. Then she raised her gaze and observed Natsuki's angry face. She turned her head to Mai to see a girl whom was asking for sympathy. Then she looked back at Natsuki whose look became more annoyed.

She swallowed hard and opened her mouth to eat the food.

* * *

Finally, Friday came. Natsuki was at her flat, waiting.

Eight o'clock.

Someone rang the doorbell.

_Punctual as ever_, thought Natsuki while walking to the entrance. When she opened the door, the girl's breath hitched. She couldn't explain why, but this day she found Shizuru particularly beautiful.

Seeing her friend completely agape, Shizuru couldn't refrain herself from playfully commenting, "Natsuki, do not open your mouth as big as that. It is not elegant and seductive at all".

This remark immediately meant a reddening of Natsuki's cheeks. The latter lowered her head. "Shizuru! Stop making fun of me and come in!"

The teaser complied and inwardly giggled. _Shy as aver._ As soon as she entered the room, the number of dishes on the table impressed her. Then, she turned her attention to the plates more precisely.

The girl was dumbfounded by what she saw. Indeed, the different dishes were disposed with a very refined presentation: sashimi (raw fish), nimono (simmered dish), yakimono (grill), suimono (soup), rice, konomono (marinated vegetables)…

This time, the one who fell from the clouds was Shizuru. She could hardly speak, "Na… Natsuki… Is… Is it a Kaiseki ryori meal?"

The hostess couldn't do anything but shyly smile.

The normally always composed girl couldn't dissemble her joy. Tears started accumulating in her crimson eyes. "Natsuki… You cannot imagine how happy I am. I believe I underestimated you. I am sorry. I should not have to…"

The blue-haired girl felt really confounded. "Oi… Shizuru… It's just a…dinner… There's nothing to get excited about…"

"'Just?' Are you kidding me? I know how much time this kind of meal requires. And you put so much devotion in it… For…me?"

The chef appeared very uncomfortable. "C'mon, Shizuru… It's okay… Let's eat!" While speaking, she took her place.

Shizuru did likewise and sat in front of her friend. "Itadakimasu."

One hour and a half later, after the succulent meal…

"Thank you for the feast", pronounced the guest with gratitude. "This dinner was divine."

Natsuki couldn't help but feel guilty. "Shizuru… I…"

Though, Shizuru didn't let her friend finish her sentence. "You put forth a great effort and for this I am accountable. Furthermore, being with you makes this moment much more enjoyable."

The blue-haired girl started to panic. Her face was deeply reddening. "No, Shizuru. Really, it's nothing!"

"However, I have a request…"

"Err… Sure. What is it?"

"Could you please tell me how much time you spent to cook all this meal? Also, I can see how tidy your flat is. You did all this after the lectures, didn't you? I will be really curious to know how you arranged yourself to complete all these tasks in such a restricted time", Shizuru addressed Natsuki with a big but neutral smile. A little too neutral to Natsuki's liking.

The younger girl felt really uneasy. "Err… In fact… Well… How to say this…"

The chestnut haired-girl cut her off, "Or maybe could you please give me the address of this wonderful restaurant?" This time Shizuru was grinning mockingly.

It took a few minutes for Natsuki to realize. "What? Hey! How…how did you figure it out? This restaurant is located more than one hundred kilometres from here. Do you know all the restaurants in Japan?" exclaimed the girl with stupefaction.

The Kyoto girl simply stated, "Well, Natsuki… Before serving a pre-made meal, do not forget to throw away the packing". She smiled and slightly tilted her head to side.

"Do you enjoy making fun of me this much?" Natsuki sulked and crossed her arms on her chest. "For how long did you know?"

With an innocent smile, Shizuru confessed, "I admit. I just got it".

The "shammer" muttered and looked away, vexed. Afterwards, she took a little time to consider. She sighed and turned to the other student. With a hushed tone, she sincerely apologized, "Hum…I…am…sorry… You should be disappointed". She looked down avoiding Shizuru's gaze.

The tallest girl was both amused and touched by such conduct. She was not upset at all with Natsuki for this trickery. However, she still didn't understand. "Ara ara. Why did my Natsuki do such a thing?"

The other girl confessed, "Well… Last week you said that I couldn't do such a thing. I wanted to change to prove you that I'm not that incompetent… Even though, it turned out to be true…I can't cook…"

"But Na…"

Natsuki cut her off. "You are _so_ perfect! You can do what you want with no difficulty. You are a perfect housewife. You know all the tricks. I can't hold a candle to you. I tried but…I can't…" In her voice, one could hear sadness and deception with a touch of…jealousy.

The "perfect" girl strived to soothe her friend. She joked, "Natsuki, you needn't have to do this… If you only knew how boring it is to be so perfect, you would not say this".

With a sincere smile, she added, "Natsuki. One of the reasons why I love you is because you are not like the others. Albeit you did not notice it, you are the only one who truly knows me, the only one who does not like the perfect Shizuru but the real one. You are the only one I truly love. You don't need to change and most of all not for me. Natsuki… For me…you are simply perfect".

Once again, Natsuki's whole face became red. Hearing these words calmed her. However, the worst was she already knew all this. She already knew that Shizuru didn't want her to change. She couldn't help feeling obliged to act this way. She couldn't refrain herself from wondering why Shizuru was in love with her, why and how she could bear Natsuki's reserve.

Catching her friend deep in her thoughts, the crimson-eyed girl wished to loosen the atmosphere. Was there a better way to do such a thing except teasing her favourite victim? "Thankfully you had the good idea to order from a caterer… Otherwise I would not bet on our becoming", tittered Shizuru.

"Hey! Shizuru!"

"Dear Natsuki, you have a lot of qualities, but cooking is not one of them", affirmed Shizuru with an amused tone.

Natsuki seemed vexed. "Yeah, I'm aware of this!" While speaking, her voice was more and more imperceptible and unintelligible. "Nonetheless, I don't see why I have to know that since you already know all of this…"

"Pardon? What did you say?" questioned Shizuru even though she understood the sentence very well.

Her friend grumbled, "Never mind!"

The Kyoto girl couldn't refrain herself from bursting out laughing. _Her_ Natsuki was so lovely and funny at the same time. How could someone resist this?

Shizuru's clear laugh made the biker girl feel really uncomfortable. On the other hand, the girl was perplexed, as she had never seen Shizuru like this. It was so…unusual.

Several minutes elapsed. Not a word was pronounced.

Finally, the younger student broke the silence. "Hum… Shizuru?"

"Yes, Natsuki?"

Almost casually, she suggested, "Do you mind if we go to the movies?"

The refined girl looked delighted. "It would be a pleasure. Which film do you want to watch?"

Natsuki already knew which film she wanted to see. "Err… There's a new movie that just came out! A science fiction one."

"Since when do you like science fiction movies, Natsuki?"

In fact, the choice wasn't large. Except some vapid movies, there was nothing much. Yet she still wanted to go out. "Well, it's not just a sci-fi movie… It's more like a drama movie. This one is really psychological. I think you will enjoy it"

"Okay. I trust you."

"Let's go."

**End of chapter 20  
**

* * *

The meal Natsuki prepared: Japanese haute cuisine. If you need details look for information about "Kaiseki ryori". There are two sorts of kaiseki ryori. If I made a mistake, please let me now.

I think the next one will be more interesting. I hope I'll have the time to complete it for the next week-end

* * *

**Reply time:  
**

**renny-chan**: Oh yeah, the 3 words, don't worry ;)

**FLY**: "many many"? Wow... For the moment I only planned to write 6 chapters but it's not fixed ;)

**midorihitomi**: It's not yet the end of my fanfic ;) Unfortunately, the end is near. I don't think I can still write many chapters and keep them interesting. (I'm not sure of this one, so...) However, I think of writing another fic, depends on my schedule :)

**kikyo4ever**: I agree with you. All Shiznat stories should never end XD

**Emeline**: Pour l'happy-end, je ne peux rien dire pour l'instant XD Et sinon, Natsuki ne serait pas vraiment Natsuki si elle ne se faisait pas avoir comme ça ;)

**D**: Thanks :)

**Hoppy-Chan**: Merci pour la correction :) Bon désolée, mais il n'y aura plus d'omake avant un moment. Il faut des idées pour ça aussi XD

**Jani**: ° tries to speak Spanish XD ° Si, es verdad. Ella complica su vida. Pero es Natsuki XD. No es un problema si tu comentas en espanol :)

**.Dawn**: Thanks :)

**Shiznat**: I'll not stop... yet :)

**pekopeko**: Hehe, I wanted to show that Shizuru may be perfect but she's still a human :)

**Shay Dela Torre**: Thanks :) Sorry for the delay

**scoobz**: Ok, let's go ;)

**Seiko**: I do want to complete my story. The problem is sometimes I lack inspiration :s


	21. Or is this real? Part 2

**Author's notes**

Hi all, long time no see!

There is a longer A/N at the end of this chapter but first I would like to deeply apologize for the time it took me to post it.

And I would like to warn you that this chapter hasn't been beta'd. I didn't get any news from my beta. I hope everything is fine though.

So **sorry** to all of you!

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Glossary**

**Imobou:** A dish from Kyoto. Shizuru's favourite.

**Ookini:** "thank you" in Kansai dialect

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 21  
**

_******二****一** ...Or is this real? part 2  
_

The cinema was located within a stone's throw of Natsuki's apartment. To her regret the film she planned to see was sold out. The girls agreed to see the "best film of the week" according to the counter clerk.

After buying the tickets, they headed to the projection room. Half an hour later the film finally started.

Twenty minutes after the beginning of the film, Natsuki was wondering what she was doing there. The film happened to be really boring. She grumbled inwardly, _"best film of the week" huh..._ The blue-haired girl wanted to leave and turned to Shizuru. To her surprise, the other girl didn't seem bored at all. Natsuki resigned herself, looked at the screen and rested her head on her palm.

The minutes lasted and seemed like hours. On top of that, the girl had troubles staying awake; she didn't sleep enough the previous night as she was worrying about the diner.

Leaning on one's hand like that wasn't such a good idea for the young lady started to have pins and needles in her hand.

Then she thought of laying her head on Shizuru's left shoulder. Though she wondered herself whether it was a good idea, she wondered what her friend would think about that. In the end, the young woman was tired of thinking and over thinking, _Just do it, stop thinking!_

And so did she. She timidly rested her head on the crimson-eyed girl.

The latter was stunned at first and then she smiled. It was nice to feel Natsuki that close. On the other hand, it made Shizuru uncomfortable. Being that near and not able to do anything wasn't easy.

She could feel the warmth of Natsuki's cheeks and smell her shampoo odour. The perfume was so heady. She closed her eyes and sighed a little. She had to be strong and bear the soft torture. Even if... she really wanted to get closer.

Natsuki felt uneasy as well. In the beginning, she just wanted to rest but the situation was weirder than she thought. She surprised herself by being appeased by her friend's scent. She felt safe, she felt like she could stay here for hours and hours, she was feeling good and had to put a lot of effort not to dive into sleep.

Shizuru's patience had limits. All these years waiting and now that was the straw that broke the camel back. She strove in holding Natsuki's hand. That gesture wasn't too affectionate and last time she did that, Natsuki was indeed feeling uncomfortable but didn't negatively react. Her stomach was tied up in knots as she slowly put her hand near Natsuki's and shyly held it.

To Shizuru's stupefaction, Natsuki didn't take fright. In fact, the blue-haired girl squeezed the older girl's hand and leaned more on Shizuru's shoulder.

The Kyoto girl was overwhelmed with joy and suddenly relieved. All the tension she just accumulated was gone.

The younger girl was feeling really good and holding her friend's hand was even better. She really didn't like the movie but still, she was really having a great time. All of that was thanks to Shizuru. Whatever the girls would do, Natsuki knew that being with her friend was enough. Memories played in her mind; all the things they did together, all the places they went to, all the help Shizuru provided to her made Natsuki happy. And simply because Shizuru was there and would always be. For all of these things, Natsuki was sincerely thankful to Shizuru.

The biker girl took her courage in both hands and calmly raised her head. She got closer to Shizuru and delicately placed a peck on Shizuru's cheek.

The older girl turned her head to Natsuki and was staring at her agape.

It was dark but the emerald-eyed girl could bet her bottom dollar on the fact that her friend was blushing. She expressed tenderness and leaned her head back on Shizuru's shoulder. She whispered, "Thank you Shizuru. I really like being with you", and closed her eyes.

As an answer, Shizuru rested her head on Natsuki's and they stayed like that until the end of the film.

When Natsuki opened her eyes again, the lights were on. The film ended minutes ago and Shizuru was looking at her. "Did Natsuki enjoy her nap?" jokingly enquired the chestnut-haired girl.

The sleepy girl needed time to process what happened… To her discomfort, she couldn't say if all of that was a dream or not.

* * *

The weather was not too cool for the season. The girls decided to go for a walk to the park nearby.

"It is a pity that you fell asleep Natsuki, the film was pretty good", asserted Shizuru.

The younger girl pouted a little, "Well... All those movies... It's always the same: bad guys do bad things blah blah and are always punished by the good guys at the end blah blah blah... It's so boring. I wish the villains could win for once"

"Ara ara. I did not know that evil side of my Natsuki", the crimson-eyed girl teasingly remarked.

"Don't get me wrong. Of course it's nice but it's far different from reality. I mean in real life, the good guys don't always win or the bad ones are not always punished... However evil they can act, they always find a way out. It's unfair. Everyone should be punished for every criminal action they do."

At that instant, Shizuru abruptly stopped and starred at her feet. That was a trivial discussion about some random film but it triggered something in her mind. Those "bad things" she did them as well. A blurred flashback started. She remembered tracking down the First District and all its members. She remembered killing them. She remembered being willing to kill Nao. She also remembered killing Diana, Yukino's Child, and at the same time killing Haruka. She did a lot of wrong deeds but never paid for them.

"Shizuru?" The blue haired girl pulled her out her cogitation.

The preoccupied young lady attempted in vain to hide her sorrow and look happy. She didn't tell anyone and especially not Natsuki that she still felt guilty for what happened months ago. Even if Natsuki forgave her, even if everybody seemed to have forgotten what she did; she couldn't make up for the troubles she caused. The only solution she had was to forget about it, completely forget everything. Then that was what she did. She forgot. She erased the bad memories. The only subject that occupied her mind was Natsuki. And that night, without warning, that topic surfaced again.

Seeing her friend's worried look, Natsuki started to worry and placed herself in front of Shizuru, "Shizuru? Are you okay? What's happening to you?" She patted Shizuru's shoulder.

Without raising her head, the Kyoto girl asked, "Say, Natsuki... Hence do you think that I should be punished? Punished for what I did during the Festival?..."

The emerald-eyed girl frowned, "What?"

"The HiME Festival... I... I..." stuttered the taller girl. She couldn't end the sentence.

Natsuki understood yet she couldn't believe it. She didn't imagine that Shizuru was still thinking about that. That wasn't her who was responsible for all that mess, "It wasn't you! It was the Obsidian Prince!"

As an answer the other girl merely sighed.

Natsuki scolded her, trying to reason her friend, "Everybody went mad during that time! It's not your fault! Do you understand?"

She looked away.

"No Shizuru! Look at me!" She gently put her hand on her friend's cheek and made her face her. "You have to clear those thoughts from your head. This is not your fault! Ok?"

"...Yes", she finally admitted in disbelief.

It was wringing her heart to see Shizuru that sad. She wanted to find a way to soothe her friend. She had to. "It wasn't you, ok?" She paused. "And on top of that if it were you, you'd never settle for third best..."

The Kyoto girl didn't react immediately. She wasn't sure she did understand what Natsuki said, "Pardon?"

"Well placed equal second", carried the blue-haired girl on.

Shizuru was losing track of what was going on. "Natsuki, I don't get you."

"You'd destroy everybody and then you'd marry the Obsidian Prince and you'd live happily... huh... maybe not but you would create your dream world." She started to fantasise, "Yeah, I guess a world where all girls had to wear miniskirt, where everybody knew about imobou and a world where Suzushiro was born dumb..."

Natsuki's stratagem had the expected results; Shizuru was so intrigued that she wasn't preoccupied any more.

The older girl was knocked all of a heap. Then she started laughing. "Natsuki, I think you should stop watching such films. It goes to your head."

"What?"

"A world where every girl wears miniskirt? Ara ara. Natsuki doesn't know me well enough." She made pretence of crying, "I am so disappointed". She paused and realised what her friend just did. She smiled, "Ookini Natsuki".

Even if she couldn't really stop thinking about that she had to try; at least not to spoil the evening with her dear love.

Natsuki smiled back and they resumed their walk still talking about the world of their dreams. Soon they arrived at the park.

"Ok, you _might_ be right", claimed the blue-haired girl, "but I still think this is something that most people pretend they will but when they can choose, they don't!"

"Ma Natsuki. Then I guess I am not like other people", calmly responded Shizuru while sitting on a bench.

The biker girl gave an intended smile. "Yeah, I know."

Shizuru giggled and finally queried, "What about you Natsuki? What would you do if you were granted the wish to build your perfect world?"

"Well..." She sat next to Shizuru and looked at the sky. "I'm not sure..."

If she had been asked that question three years ago, she would have definitely known what would be her answer. However now, that question was kind of tricky. Yes, three years ago the only thing that mattered to her was to take a revenge on the people who caused her mother's death.

So if at that time she had the opportunity, she would have of course wished a normal life, a life of a normal 15 year old girl. But then what would have happened if it had been the case? How would her life be now? If her mother didn't die, if her father never left, if she had never been a HiME...

**End of chapter 21**

* * *

How long has it been? I don't know any more but was too long for sure. I don't really have any excuse except that I had a very huge writer's block. No motivation, no idea any more it was awful. I do have the main storyline but you have to put it into words and yeah I had some troubles with that.

I didn't reply to all review personally (as I used to do) but I did read all of them. It was kind of hard as I was constantly feeling guilty for not being able to carry one with my fic.

You can't help with a writer's block, right? Well... Once Picasso said "Inspiration exists, but it has to find us working." I understood what it meant not too long ago.

In any case, I told you that I'll **never** give up my fic (even if it takes decades I will complete it). Actually this chapter was completed some time ago already but I wasn't really proud of it and I didn't write for ages. Also I have big doubts about the following chapter. I was wondering if I should combine both or not. Well, you'll see why.

However I will go for the short version (and its alternative end). I will try to post the sequel but not until it's completely done. Don't expect too much of it though.

Another thing I'm planning to do is reworking my fanfic. I don't know if it's because I grew up (huh) but there are many details that I wish to improve. It's also one of the reasons why I didn't like reading my story again.

I forgot how long it took to edit a chapter and how nice it was to write A/N.

Thanks to all readers (yeah, even the ones who gave up this fic!) and thanks to Sayosi who betaed the previous chapters!

I don't know when the next chapter will be up but I'll try to complete it this year (now I have a full year to do so).


	22. A normal life

**Author's notes**

Hey, it's me again. I was a bit slower than expected but it's still 2012 so I'm glad.

Thanks for the reviews! This chapter is a bit special so here goes nothing.

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I own Mai-HiME. I like torturing the fans by not including any ShizNat interaction in the anime. Of course, it's false.

* * *

**Time To Grow Up : chapter 22.**

**二二 A normal life**

In this room bathed in the dark, complete silence reigned. Some sunbeams seeped through the blinds. Outside, the bird chirps could be heard. No doubt, this spring day was going to be sunny.

7 o'clock.

The strident noise of an alarm clock resounded. Forty-five seconds later the crash of the aforesaid alarm clock against the wall could be heard. The person responsible for this disaster buried herself under the blankets.

Ten minutes later, someone knocked at the door and entered without waiting for a reply, "Hurry up, Natsuki. You will be late for school. And you don't want to be late for the beginning of the term, right?" While talking, the disturber opened the blinds of Natsuki's bedroom.

Bothered by the sunlight, Natsuki turned to the other side and complained, "Mum! I'm tired. I didn't sleep enough last night... I was so worried about the new school year".

"Do you think I'm that stupid? Your father and I heard you talking on the phone the whole night!"

"Huh... I was... under stress. I needed to talk."

"Get up young lady. I won't repeat it." Natsuki's mother headed to the doorstep. Before leaving, she added, "I thought you were more serious about that. Don't forget that this is your final high-school year. You don't want to ruin it, right?"

"No, I don't..." The blue-haired girl sighed and moved to the bathroom.

* * *

Kuga Saeko drove her daughter to school: Fuuka High school. Natsuki attended her whole schooling in the Fuuka group because it was told to be the best school in the region. Though it was very expensive. This wasn't really a problem as Natsuki's family was quite wealthy.

When walking to the school building, Natsuki remembered the events of last year,

_I hope this year will be quieter and less disturbing than the last one. How can you work in these conditions? Between all the troubles that this new student..., Tokiha Mai, brought and the irritating President being hysterical. You can't definitely work. Not to mention that the school was closed for several days._

Natsuki shook her head, _No, this year is very important. Nothing will spoil it!_

As she entered the schoolyard, she was greeted by some of her friends, "Natsu-chan! Over there!" shot one of them.

So far, everything was normal. The young girl smiled and ran towards their friends.

The school bell rang signalling the beginning of the lectures and the beginning of the term.

This is the story of Kuga Natsuki, 17 years old. Birthday 15th of August. Daughter of Kuga Kenji, a wealthy businessman, and Kuga Saeko, a famous scientist. No sibling. Has a dog named Duran.

The young Natsuki had always lived in the area. Living there was no piece of cake for many strange events kept occurring. Most of the students didn't seem to notice or really care. Those events were always sources of gossips.

For Natsuki it did matter. Those kinds of events disrupted her oh so perfect life. She wasn't a straight A student thanks to a lucky charm. She did study a lot. She was mad because last year events stained her perfect attendance score. She couldn't help it. Despite her efforts, she was still not able to get as good grades as the previous valedictorian, a certain Fujino Shizuru.

This year would be different. She would complete it in a blaze of glory and set the limit even higher. She was hoping that no one and nothing would hinder her.

* * *

Few days later, Natsuki was having lunch with some of her friends.

"I'm so pissed against Uchiyamada-sensei! Giving us so much homework. Does he think we have nothing else to do?" pestered a shorthaired girl.

"I understand your point, but there is no alternative. And we have to understand that this is our last high school year", simply stated Natsuki.

"I know Natsu-chan but I think it's already too much. We just started this year. When we will have our midterms, it will be even worse! I will never be able to endure it!"

The blonde girl seated next to her replied, "Well if you regularly studied instead of pulling an all-nighter every time it will be way easier for you Chika-chan".

The said girl was offended. "Oh! Now you are all against me!"

The emerald-eyed girl shook her head; there was no way they would be able to reason their friend.

Few underclassmen came to them looking a little bit impressed. "Err, excuse us, Kuga-san. We would like to know if you would like to have lunch with us tomorrow."

Natsuki couldn't help it and she didn't really like it: she was quite popular at school. Many underclassmen looked up to her. She didn't like being the centre of attention but she was feeling guilty whenever she tried to ask them to leave.

_Lunch with me?_ "Err... Sure why not", was the simple reply.

The student had illuminated eyes. "Really? Thank you we-" She was interrupted by the school announcement ring.

"Dear first-year students, please make sure to fill in the form about club activities and give it back to your homeroom teacher before next week", said the voice.

After the announcement was over some students took their leave, "We are sorry Kuga-san. We have to go. See you tomorrow!"

"Ah... Yes. See you tomorrow."

After the freshmen left the shorthaired girl exclaimed, "I'm still not used to that. The previous years we had the loud and annoying Suzushiro and now we are stuck with an extremely shy President. I wonder if she will be able to manage all of that".

"You're quite harsh. So far I think that Yukino-san did a great job."

"Yes, it's not that easy", cued the blonde girl in.

"Well, still. I'm sure someone else would have done a better job", she paused, "Come to think of it, why didn't you run for the seat of President? With your popularity you'd have won with no problem Natsu-chan!" She claimed raising her hands.

"Wha-what!" enquired a flabbergasted Natsuki, "I-idiot! Don't say such things! It's ridiculous and stupid!"

"Why not? You are already our class rep. Being the student council president wouldn't be such a big deal for you!" Chika turned her head to the underclassmen, "What daya think?"

One of the students wore a big smile and stated, "That would be wonderful if Kuga-san was our President".

"Sorry but this is too embarrassing! I don't see what can be more embarrassing than that."

Chika snickered, "Well, what about being seen without your panties..."

Natsuki shrugged, "Like this would ever happen".

* * *

Days and weeks passed without encumber. That year seemed to be a normal one.

Finally came Natsuki's special day, her 18th birthday.

Being popular was somewhat great for many students wanted to attend the school queen's birthday. Being wealthy was even better because it allowed Natsuki to invite all of these people.

Many people came and she got lots of presents. The party was in full swing until incessant honking interrupted it. Natsuki and some guests went outside to see the source of the ruckus.

In the middle of the street, a man was standing next to a cobalt blue car, a Suzuki Swift. Harbouring a large smile he said, "Seems to be a pretty good party!"

The young woman was overwhelmed with joy. After regaining her composure, she dashed to the man, "Dad! I'm so happy you're back!"

Kuga Kenji hugged his daughter, "Of course. I said I would be there for your birthday, didn't I?"

He did yet Natsuki learnt how not to be too hopeful. Her father was often away due to his multiple business trips. She discarded the bitter thought away and looked at the car with sparkling eyes, "You bought a new car? It's fabulous!"

"You like it?"

"Yes, I do!"

The middle-aged man smiled. "Then I'm glad. It's yours", he said while giving the keys to the blue-haired girl.

"What? R-really?"

"Happy birthday, Natsuki."

The other students clapped their hands and expressed their excitement.

The birthday girl stared at the keys. She had trouble believing it.

"I know it's not a motorcycle but I hope you still like it", he added trying to comfort his daughter.

_Oh yeah..._

Since she turned 16, she had always wished to take the motorcycle licence exam but her father was deeply against it. These two-wheeled vehicles had always fascinated her.

Her father owned one and she was always ecstatic when he allowed her to ride with him.

She gave a sincere smile. "I really like the car, dad. Thank you." She paused, "You gave me the best present I could wish for".

The young girl was really grateful for this gift but she was even happier that her father was present, "I'm really happy that you are here".

He scratched the back of his head, "He he, enough with that. You sound like I'm nev..." He trailed, realising what he was about to say.

Minutes elapsed until the blue-haired girl finally broke the awkward silence. "I... I think I should look after my guests."

"Yes, sure". Taking back the keys the man went back into the car, "I'm going to bring it home".

Natsuki exclaimed, "Hey! But I thought it was mine!"

"It is... but not until you pass your driving licence exam", reminded her father.

"Tsk", dejected she went back to her guests.

* * *

This eventless year finally ended. The day for which Natsuki waited the most finally arrived: her graduation.

She almost dedicated her life to being a perfect student. Only focusing on her studies and nothing else. Romance, parties were not things of which she was truly fond.

Sure, she had friends and liked talking with them for hours or going shopping with them – Natsuki had a thing for lingerie – yet that was basically it. She never tried to have her special someone.

It wasn't as if she never had the opportunity to find one. Numerous boys, and even girls, confessed to her. Nonetheless Natsuki rejected all of them.

_"You think I've got time to waste on romance!"_, that was what she told her friends.

All these efforts and restrictions were not in vain as Natsuki became the valedictorian.

Despite not being able to beat that Fujino, _shoot_, it was still quite an achievement.

As the best student of the class, Natsuki was asked to give a speech in front of all the student body, "I thank you all for all for being here. Thank you for having giving us these last three years..."

While she was talking, the other students were charmed by the speech. The valedictorian had such a presence that it was hard not to stay focused. Natsuki could have been a great leader.

"She totally could have been the Student council President!" Ranted Chika under her breath.

"Why are you so insistent with this?"

"Duh! If she were the President, we would have been the Queens of this school!"

Her blonde friend shook her head, "I _really_ don't think so..."

At the end of the speech, the director gave Natsuki her diploma. Natsuki bowed and climbed down the stage with pride and happiness. She finally reached her goal, _I did it_.

When the ceremony was over, the students dispersed themselves.

Natsuki went to the Flower Garden and rested her back on a cherry tree. Diploma in hands, she closed her eyes and recalled her high school life. She was truly happy. Even though sometimes, deep down in her heart, she felt as something was missing.

**End of chapter 22**

* * *

I made up everything in this chapter. However, I got the following parts from the Prelude:

- I assume that the father is wealthy as he can pay the expenses of his daughter in the original. And he was a lot absent and on business trips (and then he ran away with his lover, the b******)

- Fuuka is said to be a very good school (maybe the best)

- Shizuru wasn't the president as she was the president in the original only to help Natsuki (whom she didn't know nor meet in this alternative version)

Kind of a filler but I wanted to write a "what if" story when I started this fanfic. It's pretty useless but I had fun. I hope you had fun as well.

I tried to keep Natsuki's personality a bit but I probably messed up. I've no idea how bad it is, nobody read this chapter before.

I hope you're not too disappointed. In any case, next and final chapter is on its way. It will be a short one (unless I've anything more to add in the meantime).


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